1623-Sandwell reprint.qxp_5741-Liverpool 01/11/2017 11:05 Page 1 Bengali Hindi Polish Gujarati Punjabi Urdu Arabic Designed & marketed by Sense Interactive Ltd. © 2017 All Rights Reserved. Telephone: 01622 752160. V3 2017 Designed & marketed by Sense Interactive Ltd. © 2017 All Rights Reserved. Telephone: Hadii aad u baahan tahay macluumaad dheerad ah oo ku saabsan badbaadinta korinta-ubadka oo luqadaada lagu qorey fadlan nagala soo xiriir cinwaanka sanduuqa Somali hoose lagu muujiyay. Sandwell Family Information Tel: 0121 569 4914 Email: [email protected] Web: www.sandwell.gov.uk/familyinfo This booklet was given to you by Who can be contacted on 1623-Sandwell reprint.qxp_5741-Liverpool 01/11/2017 11:05 Page 3 Introduction Contents Page Welcome to the Sandwell Parenting Handbook: Stay Safe A guide to keeping children safe and well in Sandwell. Bullying 4 The real story This handbook is designed to offer advice and support to all families. Being Domestic violence & abuse 6 a parent is one of the most rewarding, challenging and difficult jobs in the How does it affect children? world and every parent experiences difficulties from time to time. Health & safety 8 The handbook is arranged around the five ‘Every Child Matters’ outcomes: Making your home safe Stay Safe, Be Healthy, Enjoy and Achieve, Make a Positive Contribution, Safety outside the home 10 and Achieve Economic Well-Being. All the topics chosen are designed to Are your children safe? Worried about a child & child protection help you find your way through what can be a maze of issues. 12 Should you mind your own business? You will find information, advice, helpful ideas and tips on how to tackle specific Children left alone & babysitting 14 issues, warning signs that your child may have a problem, as well as helpful Common sense and the law contacts, which you can follow up for advice and support if you need it. Be Healthy I hope you find this handbook useful and worth keeping (and sharing) for Freedom from smoke 16 future reference. Smoke free living Substance misuse 18 How would I know? J Barnett Feeling depressed 20 Dealing with the uncertainties of life J. Barnett - Sandwell Family Information Service Manager Teenage pregnancy 22 Preventative parenting Stress & anxiety 24 Helping them cope Enjoy and Achieve Education 26 A lifelong experience Truancy 28 Are they at school? Children with disabilities 30 You’re not alone Developing speech & language 32 Chatter matters Make a Positive Contribution Positive parenting & self-esteem 34 Make them feel great! Young people in trouble 36 How widespread is it? Extended services in & around school 38 Meeting the needs of children and their families Achieve Economic Well-Being Employment 40 Bright future, bright prospects Living away from home 42 Being prepared Young carers 44 Who cares? you care, they care Helpful organisations 46 1623-Sandwell reprint.qxp_5741-Liverpool 01/11/2017 11:05 Page 5 5 ullying is a frightening experience. WARNING SIGNS BIt can isolate and damage a young Running away, non-attendance at school, other learning and person’s self-confidence. Some ongoing behavioural difficulties for no obvious reason. Your child has bullying can have negative long-term injuries with no feasible effects on children, leading to depression explanation for them. and even suicidal thoughts and actions. School days are a time when the influence of other children is very important and fitting in is seen as essential. If children are thought of as different for any ACTION reason, they can be picked on and bullied. Sadly, we still See the headteacher at the live in a society in which to be different in any way can school for their support and mean ridicule and bullying (often copied from parents) action. If bullying is occurring and this ensures that prejudice will continue into the outside school, consider contacting the family of the next generation. It is crucial to be alert to the possibility child who is bullying and try to of bullying and make sure you know the tell-tale signs. find a way to work together to sort it out. You may think that your child is unlikely to be bullied but the reality is that bullying can happen at any time and to any child. Bullies who continually harm other children need support and help as well. They may have experienced difficulties of their own at home, which may have led to their actions. Reporting concerns may help WHAT TO SAY them to get help too. Tell your child to refuse to put • Bullying can happen anywhere but most commonly it up with bullying, walk away, tell happens in school. an adult or friend and avoid fighting. Listen to your child, • Bullying can take many forms, from verbal abuse to reassure and be there for them. physical attack. • Bullying is the repeated abuse of a child by one or several people. • Bullies are not always older than the child they harm. • Most bullying is done by children who are the same age as the victim. PREVENTION If your child tells you about a friend or any other child who Talk to your child about their school day. Teach your child to is being bullied - listen carefully and take this seriously. respect others from a young age. That child may not be able to say for themselves what Teach your child that prejudice is happening. and bullying is unacceptable. Today all schools are required to have an Anti-Bullying Policy. However, school action alone cannot guarantee • Children have the right not to be hurt success. It is important that parents and schools work • Bullying behaviour is unacceptable together in partnership to secure support and protection for the child for both the present and the future. It is • Bullying can happen to any child at any age CONTACTS essential that parents make contact with their child’s • Sandwell Against Bullying • Speak to your child’s school immediately if you have school as soon as they become aware of any problems www.sandwell.gov.uk/info/ any concerns before they become huge. 200295/schools_and_learning/ 334/sandwell_against_bullying • Act immediately if you think your child is being bullied • Anti-Bullying Alliance www.anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk • Children need ways to protect themselves and seek help • Bullying UK 0808 800 2222 • Advise your child to run, yell and tell www.bullying.co.uk • Childline 0800 1111 • Racial harassment is a form of bullying www.childline.org.uk • Family Lives 0808 800 2222 www.familylives.org.uk • Kidscape 020 7730 3300 www.kidscape.org.uk • UK Safer Internet Centre www.saferinternet.org.uk 1623-Sandwell reprint.qxp_5741-Liverpool 01/11/2017 11:05 Page 7 7 hildren who see, get involved or WARNING SIGNS Chear violence are affected in many Any violence between adults will affect children badly. Get ways. What is certain is that children do support and help as soon as possible. The longer it lasts hear, they do see and they are aware of the more damaging violence is. violence in the family. Children will learn how to act from what their parents do. Domestic violence teaches children bad things about relationships and how to deal with people. For instance: ACTION • It can teach them that violence is the way to sort Report your concerns about out arguments. yourself or someone else to • They learn how to keep secrets. the Police. If you are worried • They often do not trust those close to them and that your child might be affected, talk to them about think that they are to blame for violence, especially what is happening. Spend if violence happens after an argument about the time together talking through children. worries they have. Many people find it difficult to understand why people stay in or return to violent situations. Fear, love, the risk of homelessness and financial issues can make it very difficult for partners with children to leave and some may just not want to. Short-term effects WHAT TO SAY Children need time to talk Children are affected in many ways by violence, even about the feelings they have after a short time. These can include feeling frightened, about violence. Children need becoming shy and quiet, bedwetting, running away, to know that it is not their fault and that this is not the way it violence, behaving badly, problems with school, poor should be. concentration and emotional upset. Long-term effects The longer children are around violence, the worse the effects on them are. These can include a lack of respect for the non-violent parent, loss of self-confidence, which will affect how they form relationships in the future, being over-protective of parent, loss of childhood, PREVENTION problems at school and running away. A violent partner must seek help to stop their actions. Make sure that you offer a If you are worried about domestic violence, discuss it good role model for children with someone else such as your health visitor or the so that they learn better ways Domestic Violence Helpline. If you are violent and have of acting. children, you can seek help to stop what is happening. If you are a victim you can apply, without the need for a Solicitor, for a Non-Molestation Order in the Family Proceedings Court. Contact the Duty Clerk at your local magistrates court. • Domestic violence may teach children to use violence If you would like details of Solicitors in your area who CONTACTS • Violence can affect children in serious and long-lasting ways deal with family law, contact the Law Society on • National Domestic Violence Helpline 0808 2000 247 • Where there is domestic violence there is often child abuse 020 7242 1222 or look in the Yellow Pages.