No good, great, generous NOTES EEtteerrnnaallllyy RReellaattiioonnaall The Relational Shape of 21st Century Life & Ministry By Jim Fredericks Dedication: I also dedicate this book to all the men and women in discipleship groups with me over the years. This booklet is about your stories because you taught me so much as we met together. Troy and Ken, thanks for your love, honesty and willingness to let me use you as human guinea pigs in experimenting over the years with disciple-making. All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2016 by Jim Fredericks. All Rights Reserved; published by Partnering 24/7, Yorba Linda, CA; available as a free download on my website: JimFredericks.com. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America by Partnering 24/7. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other) except for brief quotations reviews, without the prior permission of the author. The author does desire to have this passed on, however, so permission can be requested via e-mail. Table of Contents Eternally Relational The Relational Shape of 21st Century Life & Ministry PROLOGUE: My Dream & Personal Journey 4 1. Shaped for Togetherness, Designed after the Trinity …..Genesis 1-3 18 2. Shaped for Engaging our Work-World Together …..1 Peter 42 3. Shaped for Growing our Root-structure Together …..John 13-17 70 4. Shaped for Interactive Learning Together (rework end) 96 5. Shaped for Discipling like Jesus Together 120 6. Shaped for Collaborative Leading Together 146 7. Shaped for Being Life Together 170 8. Shaped for Doing Life Together (in process) 194 9. Shaped for Ongoing Transformation Together 210 APPENDIX 236 .....Freder’s Favorites Prologue: The Dream I awoke with a start in the middle of the night, hacking and coughing to clear the congestion in my lunges from a lingering cold. One body wracking cough after another. Then I became aware. I had been dreaming. I could see myself walking in a park with winding paths and greenery. I met someone. A beautiful young woman. We were simply walking through the park together. No, I wasn’t just walking. I was doing cartwheels and hand stands and flips, as well as walking…and floating along together. And such freedom I had never before experienced. In my foggy, half-awake stage, I realized my coughing had ceased. I was lying in bed, peacefully trying to pull up the thoughts, emotions and actions in the dream. Not all the detail. More the feelings of complete bliss, playful spontaneity, joy-laced purpose, pure motives. And the dream went on… Others were in the dream. As the two of us journeyed through the park together, onlookers were drawn into our joy and togetherness. It was captivating. When we first crossed paths, the beautiful young woman knew nothing of this eternal quality of life within that I was experiencing. It didn’t take long though until she was entering into the same life I had. It was contagious. As we skipped and walked and floated and vaulted together, we giggled like a couple of little girls, delighted and without embarrassment. I rolled over and focused my attention through my grogginess. My digital clock said 1:59 in the morning. As I blinked, my clock turned to 2:00. It was April 7, 2015, two days after Easter Sunday and the stirring sermon on the resurrection of Jesus. The resurrection calls us all to mission with Jesus to pass on to others what we have freely experienced. I tapped into my feelings…like spontaneity and freedom in walking through the garden, and the deep, deep love with a pure innocence I felt for that beautiful young woman. Now I was startled awake! I was sixty-seven years old, happily married for over forty years to my beautiful bride…faithful, still in love. Where were these thoughts coming from? But in the dream…. What a purity I felt toward this beautiful young woman. A love so deep, and so right. So powerful, more powerful than…well, I don’t know a human comparison, but pure, without a smidgeon of smudges. We stopped to help a man in need. He joined us on our journey. Walking at first. Then catching something from us, I had the sense he was also about ready to do a cartwheel as we moved on. Wherever we went, this life and exuberance exuded out, and touched those we came across. It was contagious. Prologue: My Personal Journey / 5 I was awake now, still soaking in the feelings of complete acceptance and belonging and competence and satisfaction I carried within me that drew the beautiful young woman and others. I asked: “What do I do with this dream, Lord?” I had a sense I needed to write it down as a part of this partially completed book, “Eternally Relational.” The feelings of bliss were immediately pushed aside by my fear…and excuses. Oh, for me, they came out as reasons why I could not put my dream into print for others. I’m married. What will Fran think? I can’t write like a J.R.R. Tolkien or C.S. Lewis. I’ll never be able to convey a fraction of what I felt in those few seconds of the dream itself. It’s embarrassing to write and feel so inadequate. I’ll wait until I’m living it out more completely. The dream is sacred; I’ll keep it to myself. What will others think? I remember more… Oh, the feelings of complete acceptance and playful spontaneity, without a care in the world, and yet with a deep care for the world. What growing beauty in the young woman, as I began to realize she was not so beautiful when we first crossed paths. And even now, she is not a Hollywood-type beauty, but cute, vivacious with a winsome glow flowing from who she is. I see more in my dream…and yet it’s fading, blurring together, like a movie being run too fast where the scenes are flashing rapidly, one after another. It dawned on me that feelings of complete acceptance and playful spontaneity come as we are in harmony with the relational Father, Son and Spirit. This is how they relate with each other. The beautiful young woman was not a person, but the church, those who embrace Jesus wholeheartedly as followers. Yes, I will write, even though I only convey a fraction of this dream and what I want in this book about our relational Family-of-Three. What I dreamed is Reality, how God truly feels about me, and what He releases me to when I abide in His freedom like a branch in the True Vine. I don’t have to explain well…just be a signpost pointing best I can toward what our Family-of-Three wants of each of us. It does not matter how a signpost looks. It can be ragged and weather-worn with fading lettering. However, if it points in the right direction, it’s a good signpost. I also began to wonder if some of my excuses for printing this dream are some of the excuses many have for not abandoning ourselves to such a free life with the Father, Son, and Spirit, walking through life hand-in-hand with Him on His epic adventure. What if we actually rested in the Father’s first-love with full allegiance? What if we nurtured this intimate inner relationship through the Word and prayer, secure in His ABC’s of identity/value/worth, even in tough times serving others with the same heart for the lost world that God has? May I be a good signpost, Lord! 6 / Eternally Relational Prologue: My Personal Journey It was Thursday morning, October 23, 2014. When I awoke to a new day, I saw something beautiful, astounding, expansive, life-impacting! It’s changing me from center to circumference, steadily, almost unseen, yet at times suddenly. How do we tap into this dynamic life together? In My Beginning In August of 2001, the Lord spoke to me. Oh, not in an audible voice or vision, but in a gentle, inner impression, yet distinct. Please let me begin with a personal word providing a context for the slow but authentic change from 2001 to 2014. Let me begin at the point where life began for me in the summer of 1973. I was twenty-five years old and had just married my heart’s desire (and now wife of forty+ years). And even better, I met Jesus Christ as my life. In a quiet, unspectacular moment, I fully abandoned myself to Him. This event radically reoriented and transformed my life as I have journeyed with Him on His epic adventure. From early on, I have had a passion to pursue Jesus with all that is within me. I began to study the Bible, pray, talk to others about Jesus, and encourage myself and others to grow spiritually. The sages in our local church responded with: “Jim, you need to become a pastor since you have such a love for Jesus and the Bible.” Well, I had recently read the book of Acts. When I heard this, the inner thought flashed, “All Christians are called to a similar, all-in response. This is the normal Christian life and I’m going to remain a Christian businessman who loves Jesus with all my heart and helps others see this as the norm.” About eighteen months later, I went off to seminary, erroneously thinking I needed to learn the original languages of the Bible in order to break through the barriers I felt to my understanding Scripture more deeply, if I were to become such a businessman.