MANAGING Emotions influence how we live and interact with each other. The choices we make, the actions we take, and the perceptions we have, are all influenced by the emotions we experience at any given moment. WHEEL OF EMOTIONS Basic Emotions With over 34,000 distinguishable emotions, SERENITY There are eight primary emotions, psychologist Robert Pluchik has elegantly which are grouped into four pairs simplified and organized our of polar opposites: instinctive state of mind into Joy - Sadness eight basic emotions in his Wheel of Emotions. INTEREST Anger - Fear JOY SM TIMI OP L Trust - Disgust OV ACCEPTANCE ANTICIPATION E Surprise - Anticipation S ECSTASY S E TRUST N E IV S S VIGILANCE S E U R G B G M A I S ADMIRATION S I O N ANNOYANCE ANGER RAGE TERROR FEAR APPREHENSION C O N T AMAZEMENT E M P T GRIEF LOATHING E W A Combinations SURPRISE Intensity Adding emotions The degree of change DISGUSTR together produces EM SADNESS from mild to strong O DISTRACTION RS new ones, E VAL produces additional PPRO for example: DISA emotions, for example: BOREDOM Trust + Fear = Submission Annoyance > Anger > Rage PENSIVENESS Joy + Trust = Love Distraction > Surprise > Amazement Anticipation + Joy = Optimism Serenity > Joy > Ecstasy EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS ARE OFTEN USED INTERCHANGEABLY, BUT… Emotions are instinctive and Feelings are mental associations and neurological reactions to a stimulus, creating reactions to an emotion that we assign biochemical and electrical reactions activated with a particular meaning, influenced by our through neuro-transmitters and hormones personal experiences, temperament, beliefs, released by the brain (e.g., frightened by the memories, and thoughts (e.g., excited that cat jumping on you from behind). your favorite sports team won the game). UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONS The emotions we feel have a subjective, physiological, and expressive component – how we experience the emotion and how our body reacts to the emotion can influence the actions we take and the decisions we make to help us survive, avoid danger, form social connections, and thrive. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE EXPERIENCING AN EMOTION? Positive Response: Circumstances: You’re Pause. Take a few breaths and reflect juggling multiple dead- Mental state: on why you are angry. Proceed with lines and did not sleep You feel attacked and/or thoughtful words or actions that will well the night before feel disappointment support you in the moment Emotional State: Ambiguous Response: Trigger Event: Someone Anger Avoid them and walk away harshly disagreed with you Negative Response: Memory: You’re Physical state: Argue and / or belittle them reminded of a bully Heart rate goes up, body tensed, jaw clenched SOURCE: Adapted from “Atlas of Emotions” by Dr Paul Akman and his daughter Eve Ekman. http://atlasofemotions.org/ MAPPING YOUR EMOTIONAL ENERGY Survival Zone Performance Zone Positive and negative energy • Angry • Energized Positive emotions like joy, trust, and surprise makes us feel good • Frustrated • Connected and are easy to grasp. Negative emotions are typically unpleasant • Tense • Challenged but just as important. It is an inevitable part of life and something we • Defensive • Hopeful need to experience to appreciate a full, rich life. Fear can help protect • Fearful • Aligned us from harm; and disgust can help us reject what is unhealthy. HIGH • Anxious • Passionate High and low intensity Constantly looking over your shoulder, feeling tensed and anxious, or fearful and frustrated from making mistakes is draining and can eventually lead to feeling hopeless, defeated, and depressed. NEGATIVE POSITIVE Conversely, feeling energized, challenged, and passionate allows you to perform at your best but, without proper rest and recovery, can also lead to exhaustion and burnout. Burnout Zone Recovery Zone Short and long duration • Exhausted • Carefree The same primal instinct that enables our fight-or-flight response to • Burned out • Peaceful avoid being eaten by the saber-toothed tiger can also come in handy • Defeated • Resting when someone cuts us off in traffic. The event triggers heightened • Hopeless • Mellow awareness and quick reactions; the burst of emotion and annoyance • Sad • Relaxed LOW at the driver is short-lived. On the other hand, ruminating over a • Grieving • Mind- work disappointment or suffering a loss of a relationship can have wandering an emotional response that is long-lasting and can impact our mental health and emotional well-being. THE IMPORTANCE OF MEANINGFUL SOCIAL CONNECTIONS Research has shown that People who feel social connectedness often connected to others: drives an upward spiral of positive emotions and can • have 50% increased improve physical health, chance of longevity and mental and • have lower levels of emotional well-being. anxiety and depression • are more trusting and cooperative • have better emotion regulation skills • have stronger immunity • have higher self-esteem • have greater empathy Source: http://ccare.stanford.edu/uncategorized/ connectedness-health-the-science-of-social-connection-infographic/ USING YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Emotional intelligence or EQ is the ability to recognize and understand that emotions can drive behaviors with positive or negative impact to self and others. Learning how to manage those emotions for yourself will also give you the insight to help influence the emotions of others to create better human connections. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MATRIX PERSONAL COMPETENCE SOCIAL COMPETENCE My ability to maintain awareness of my My ability to understand others emotions and manage my behaviors to improve relationships RECOGNITION SELF AWARENESS SOCIAL AWARENESS What I SEE How am I accurately perceiving Do I accurately perceive and understand (Mindfulness) and understanding my emotions? the emotions and behaviors of others? • Feelings and emotional impact • Empathy to self and others • Organizational culture • Values that drive your emotions • Service orientation • Objectivity • Assessing the mood in the room • Triggers • Picking up verbal and non-verbal cues • Preferences/Tendencies • Sensitivity to others’ feelings • Strengths/Limitations • Shifting perspective • Ability/Capabilities REGULATION SELF MANAGEMENT RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT What I DO How am I managing my emotions Do I work well with others and (Empowerment) and behavior productively? impact others effectively? • Impulse/Self control • Communication/Interpersonal effectiveness • Adaptability/Resilience • Influence/Change catalyst • Motivation/Drive • Teamwork/Collaboration/Comradery • Transparency • Inspirational leadership • Optimism/Positive outlook • Conflict management • Conscientiousness/Integrity • Developing others/Coaching/Mentoring • Take Initiative • Building trust/Bonds/Rapport • Intentionality/Choosing how • Finding common ground to act/React • Amplify positive emotions TIPS TO HELP YOU MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS When strong emotions arise, a few Exercise and other forms of deep breaths can often help you feel active movement release the calmer. Yes, it’s that simple. feel-good chemicals in the Mindfulness meditation practice can brain. Group classes like yoga, L help you pay attention to your body Pilates, indoor cycling, or CA and alert you when your emotions organized hikes and walking YSI Y are taking over. tours can further enhance PH IT social bonding. IV BREATHE ACT Be kind to others and share your Learn to let go and be open and Gratitude appreciation. Kindness is a accepting of what is going on around & behavioral response of empathy you. Don’t forget to be gentle with and compassion with actions that yourself and avoid excessive self- are selfless and can lead to a sense criticism. Journaling and reflection SELF of interconnectedness with others. will help you appreciate the When you focus on others, you goodness that surrounds you. Kindness stop worrying about yourself. COMPASSION Don’t bottle it up. Spend time with When you have negative C NNECT friends and family. Establish a strong thoughts, reflect on the support system. Be authentic and underlying cause and try with share what’s going on — the good, to redefine and reframe the bad, the ugly. Don’t just vent. them with a positive Be a good listener too. attitude before you THERS Invite others to share and make mountains CHALLENGE learn from their perspectives. out of molehills. NEGATIVE BIAS EMOTIONAL AGILITY When an event triggers an emotion, there is a space between the stimulus and response to pause before reacting. This allows you to see and choose your thoughts, then shift your response with more considered words and actions to determine a desired positive outcome. BUILDING EMOTIONAL AGILITY To avoid operating on autopilot and resorting to default behaviors, psychologist Dr. Susan David outlines four key concepts to get unstuck, embrace change, and thrive in work and life: Showing Up: Stepping Out: Emotions are, by their very nature, strong, instinctive states of We typically fall into thinking traps that cloud our minds mind and often difficult to ignore. Practicing mindfulness will unnecessarily and incessantly. When you can step back to create help you focus your attention on the present moment and to distance, observe and disentangle thoughts from feelings, label recognize your emotional them objectively, and start to see the big picture with informed patterns without judgement. clarity — that you are not your emotion — then you can use Be open to face your emotional intelligence strategically. thoughts, emotions, and behaviors with courage, curiosity, and compassion.