Firing the will, forging the way: Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students creating their stories around the university table Sandra Cecelia Rennie Bachelor of Adult and Vocational Education With First Class Honours A thesis submitted for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy at The University of Queensland in 2018 School of Education Abstract “What is my story? Like you, I have many”, wrote feminist academic Sara Ahmed (Ahmed, 2010a, p. 1). She asks, what is yours, what is mine? And begins her story at a table. “Around the table a family gathers”, she says. “Always we are seated in the same place…as if we are trying to secure more than our place” (Ahmed, 2010a, p. 1). In this thesis I draw upon Ahmed’s work on willfulness and diversity work in higher education alongside Indigenous Australian Martin Nakata’s theory of the Cultural Interface, to discuss the gendered stories of pathways through university shared with me by Indigenous Australian students at the University of Queensland. In these stories told, and as the title of my study suggests, I position the stories around feminist academic Sara Ahmed’s (2010) analogy of the table, where the table becomes the university space and the family becomes the students. Different characters who identify as students come and go, each with their own life story and their own university journey. Each time, the setting of the table changes, taking upon itself its own particular layout, its own direction. The stories become something more than securing a place at the table; they are stories that talk of willful resilience, resistance and persistence within that table called higher education. Grounded in my doctoral work with 7 female and 7 male Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students, this study specifically focuses on the gendered nature of such willfulness, to consider the ways in which Indigenous Australian women and men negotiate pathways and success through university within/against Western colonial and patriarchal institutions. Interwoven with the students’ stories, I tell a little of my story that evolves from the different tables I have found and I find myself at. There is the table on the back verandah that has become central to my PhD journey. There is the table at an Indigenous community organisation where I work as a literacy and pathways advisor, and the table where I create the story of my relationship with Liz, my primary advisor, told through our meetings over the past four years. It’s a lively conversation from start to finish. Through yarning circles, one-on-one conversations, coffee, laughter and tears, using storytelling as an Indigenous research methodology, the stories told around the table willfully speak back to colonialism, racism and sexism. The experiences we shared can be met with laughter, but not always. Ahmed warns, “you cannot always close the gap between how you do feel and how you should feel”, (2010a, p. 10) and so it is, that this thesis speaks to these entangled gendered experiences of higher education, as the students will their way into and through university. ii Declaration by author This thesis is composed of my original work, and contains no material previously published or written by another person except where due reference has been made in the text. I have clearly stated the contribution by others to jointly-authored works that I have included in my thesis. I have clearly stated the contribution of others to my thesis as a whole, including statistical assistance, survey design, data analysis, significant technical procedures, professional editorial advice, financial support and any other original research work used or reported in my thesis. The content of my thesis is the result of work I have carried out since the commencement of my higher degree by research candidature and does not include a substantial part of work that has been submitted to qualify for the award of any other degree or diploma in any university or other tertiary institution. I have clearly stated which parts of my thesis, if any, have been submitted to qualify for another award. I acknowledge that an electronic copy of my thesis must be lodged with the University Library and, subject to the policy and procedures of The University of Queensland, the thesis be made available for research and study in accordance with the Copyright Act 1968 unless a period of embargo has been approved by the Dean of the Graduate School. I acknowledge that copyright of all material contained in my thesis resides with the copyright holder(s) of that material. Where appropriate I have obtained copyright permission from the copyright holder to reproduce material in this thesis and have sought permission from co-authors for any jointly authored works included in the thesis. iii Publications during candidature Peer-reviewed papers Rennie, S. (2017). Decolonising gender: Stories by, about and with Indigenous Australian women. The Australian Journal of Indigenous Education. Advance online publication. doi: 10.1017/jie.20178 Conference abstracts Rennie, S. (2017, July). Firing the Will, Forging the Way; Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Students’ Creating Their Stories Around the University Table. Paper presented a ‘Critical Auto- ethnography and Activism’, [Critical Auto-ethnography Conference, Monash University, State Library Melbourne, VIC. Rennie, S. (2016, November). Decolonising gender: Stories, by about and with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women and men. Paper presented at the Australian Association for Research in Education Conference, Melbourne, VIC. Rennie, S. (2016, June). Decolonising gender, Stories by, about and with Indigenous Australian women. Paper presented at “DE-story the joint” [Australian Women and Gender Studies Association International Biennial Conference], Brisbane, QLD. Rennie, S. (2015, December). Stories as method: An approach to Indigenous Research Methodologies (b). Paper presented at the Australian Association for Research in Education Conference, Fremantle, W.A. Rennie, S. (2015, August). Stories as method: An approach to Indigenous Research Methodologies (a). Paper presented at “Charting educational futures: Building on 20 years of research” [UQ School of Education Postgraduate Community Conference], Brisbane, QLD. Rennie, S. (2014, August). Not yet ready to speak: The politics of conducting research in Indigenous Australia education. Paper presented at “Reimagining research methodologies for the 21st Century” [UQ School of Education Postgraduate Community Conference], Brisbane, QLD. Publications included in this thesis No publications iv Contributions by others to the thesis No contributions by others Statement of parts of the thesis submitted to qualify for the award of another degree None. Research Involving Human or Animal Subjects Institutional human research ethics approval was granted by the University of Queensland Human Research Ethics Committee A (2015000892). See Appendix A & B for copies of the ethics approval letter and amendment to ethics approval. v Acknowledgements I would like to express my respect and acknowledgement to the Jagera and Turrbal First Nations people of Brisbane, on whose land I live and learn. I would also like to acknowledge that this thesis has been written sitting on this country. I acknowledge the Indigenous ways of knowing, being and doing and I recognise that by the sharing of Western and Indigenous knowledges, skills and experiences, Australia can and will become an intellectually richer and fairer county. I’ve loved these last four years and the friendships I have made at the UQ community. Yes at times it has been stressful, but those times were far outweighed by the joy of doing something meaningful. It’s been all about the journey for me. Not just the destination. I’m really grateful for this opportunity, and thankful for the scholarship that made it possible. I’m particularly grateful to the 14 Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students who worked with me in my study. I can’t thank you all enough for agreeing to come on this journey with me and I wish you success in the future with your chosen careers. Keep on following your heart. I’m also especially thankful for all the support that I have been given along the way. Thanks to my secondary advisor Jon, for your advice when I pop in to see you at the Unit. Liz your support has been brilliant. How lucky am I to have had you as my primary advisor. I couldn’t have written the thesis the way I did without your encouragement and advice. Thanks for all the great conversations that we have shared over the billions of latte’s and flat white’s, in a variety of cafes on and off campus. Thanks for the laughter and the guidance, which was always given with a generous heart. You will always be my Sister. To the EDUC 2090 teaching team, Liz, Ailie, Suraiya, Rhonda, Cate, Dave and Mitch, thanks for the fun and camaraderie. Yes, Ailie, “it has been something” working in our closely bonded community. Speaking of community, I also acknowledge the time shared with the 989.fm Murri country radio crew. Working in an Indigenous community organisation over the years has certainly played a part in fuelling my passion for Indigenous education. To my friend Pam, where would I be without your graphic design skills? To Meg, my sister-in-law, thank you for your painstaking proofreading of my thesis. To my number one person, my husband John, I am stuck for the words, (unusual, you would say), that express my love and gratitude for all the emotional support that you have given me since I commenced this journey and before. We have grown up together and been on many journeys before this one, some of which I talk about in this thesis. Not once in the last four years have you grumbled about me “doing the PhD” and how consumed I have been by the process.