October 28, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 23 New Barry Trotter And the Unnecessary Sequel Is A Potentially Necessary Read SUSAN ZAGAR Harry Potter movies to the results of the Retriever Weekly Staff over all outrage of Harry Potter, with Valumart, also known as “He Who It’s Barry Trotter, back with his side- Smells”, who decides he no longer wants kicks, Ermine Cringer and Lon Measly! to kill Barry Trotter, but instead becomes These names sound familiar, yet there’s a horrendously rich on the whole Barry something strange. That’s because it’s a Trotter franchise. work that has nothing and everything to One fun twist to the plot is where do with the Harry Potter Phenomenon Barry and his wife Ermine Cringer criti- started by JK Rowling years ago. Yes, cize and ridicule their son Nigel, because this is Barry Trotter and the Unnecessary he isn’t magical. This makes for an inter- Sequel, the spoof of the Harry Potter esting take on Harry Potter. What would books, written by Michael Gerber, author he be like as a parent if his kid had no of Barry Trotter and the Unauthorized magical powers? Would he be relieved Parody. that no one would try to kill him or would Courtesy of Miramax Films The Unnecessary Sequel is a neces- he treat him as horribly his aunt and uncle Cutting It Close: Watching the third Scary Movie makes for a hairy experience as sary read for die-hard fans of the Harry treated him? An interesting thought, classic spoofster David Zucker takes the reins. Potter Series, assuming they are of an age indeed. where they can be mature enough to han- The spoof is a fun read down to the dle the vast array of crudeness. The details, with names like Seamlus Hilarious Parodying Fails Hogwart’s equivalent, Hogwash, is O’Stereotype and Dorco Malfeasance, depicted as a place where the students are plus fun references for Spiderman and actively promiscuous and wizarding Lord of the Rings fans. The book could To Counteract Disgusting makes one sterile. In other words, those potentially make you cringe often if who were fond of the sweet and noble you’re ultra-sensitive, but it’s also guar- world of Harry Potter might be displeased anteed many smiles, if you like to laugh, with Michael Gerber’s rendition of the which I hope everyone does. Humour in Scary Movie 3 world of wizarding. However, if fans are from SCARY MOVIE, page 21 movie must’ve been carpeted in mat- able to get past Gerber’s would be like if she were a terrible tresses. It seems like they tripled the constant need to discuss actress instead of a terrible singer. number of pratfalls from the last two Barry Trotter and Cindy tries to bring up important films. Poor David Zucker, reduced to Ermine Cringer’s love issues on the news, such as “the video- banana peels. life or the anal-retentive tape” and the crop circles that are blight- Maybe my mistake was watching and bitchy owls, they are ing Tom Logan’s (Charlie Sheen) farm. Airplane! before I saw Scary Movie 3. It in for a real treat. This is She also looks after her creepy nephew got my standards all elevated. There is a in fact a parody and if and pines over farm boy-turned-rapper, small homage to that pinnacle of spoofs you can be mature about George (ex-porn star, Simon Rex.) right near the end of this dreck. it, then you will be able After setting up the basic relation- Remember Leslie Nielson plays the pres- to read and laugh a lot ships, the movie launches into an expect- ident in Scary Movie, so the opportunity during the course of ed barrage of limp parodies, foregoing was there. reading the comic novel, any semblance of order or cohesion so I know that not much is expected especially if you love they can make poop jokes. Since most of from this movie, and I realize that there Harry Potter. the fun is seeing how those parodies turn must’ve been 500 people lined up for the Gerber presents out, I won’t go into too much detail here. chance to see it TWO lousy days early. Barry Trotter as a man, Some of the more tolerable parts of But even so, we can do better! who really existed, and the film were take-offs of The Matrix. Remember Airplane! Remember had a story written about George Carlin as the creepy voyeur Naked Gun. Remember Spaceballs even. him by journalist, JG Architect, Queen Latifah mimicking the There are so many times when Rollins, in addition to all-knowing Oracle and Eddie Griffin as Hollywood did parody better than this movies made about him ‘Orpheus’, her husband (“I get in trouble series does. It can’t be that hard to get by the Wagner Bros. He for sleeping with women I ain’t even met back to that place. pokes fun at everything yet.”) Where do we start? I don’t know. I from the overly done One thing’s for sure: the set of this just hope it’s not with Scary Movie 4. special effects in the One South by Eric Mills.