This electronic thesis or dissertation has been downloaded from Explore Bristol Research, http://research-information.bristol.ac.uk Author: Chowdhury, Rashon Title: Parting the veils of silence a woman’s quest for meaning through the life transition of menopause General rights Access to the thesis is subject to the Creative Commons Attribution - NonCommercial-No Derivatives 4.0 International Public License. A copy of this may be found at https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/legalcode This license sets out your rights and the restrictions that apply to your access to the thesis so it is important you read this before proceeding. Take down policy Some pages of this thesis may have been removed for copyright restrictions prior to having it been deposited in Explore Bristol Research. However, if you have discovered material within the thesis that you consider to be unlawful e.g. breaches of copyright (either yours or that of a third party) or any other law, including but not limited to those relating to patent, trademark, confidentiality, data protection, obscenity, defamation, libel, then please contact [email protected] and include the following information in your message: •Your contact details •Bibliographic details for the item, including a URL •An outline nature of the complaint Your claim will be investigated and, where appropriate, the item in question will be removed from public view as soon as possible. Parting the veils of silence: a woman’s quest for meaning through the life transition of menopause Rashon A. Chowdhury A dissertation submitted to the University of Bristol in accordance with the requirements for award of the degree of Doctor of Education in the Faculty of Social Sciences and Law Graduate School of Education October 2018 Word count: 50,259 Abstract This dissertation chronicles my quest for meaning through the life transition of menopause. In my British culture, menopause is medicalised and attention is not paid to the psychological issues that this great rite of passage can bring (Chrisler, 2013, 2011, 2006; Herzig, 2012; Nosek Kennedy, & Gudmundsdottir; 2012). The complexities that some women (including myself) face during menopause are examined, together with the affordances and constraints of doing personal research. As an integrative transpersonal psychotherapist trained in different modalities that also includes holding a spiritual perspective, I often see women as clients who have difficulties navigating their transitions. The issues they present are not just physical; menopause also brings psychological challenges to be addressed and often a search for deeper meaning. The importance of other cultural attitudes to menopause are discussed, where it is seen as a positive time in a woman’s life, honouring her life experience and wisdom (Alleger, 2004; Boice, 2007; Shinoda Bolen, 2015). In search of a deeper engagement with the transition on a psychological and spiritual level I engaged in two shamanic retreats based on Native American Indian traditions, a Sufi silent alchemical retreat, an advanced diploma in psychotherapy and a solitary retreat into woodland. Autoethnography provided me with a vehicle with which to document my journey through the research so that the various positions I travelled through in my experiences could be honoured (Ellis, 2004; Sparkes, 2002). Writing as inquiry provided a means to experiment with the production of texts which encapsulated my own and different views and perspectives on menopause (Richardson, 2005; St. Pierre, 2005). Key themes that emerged from the research were: issues with negative self-identity; loss and grief; different cultural spiritual lenses; the need for radical self-care; the transformation of self through examination of archetypes and symbols; the significance of celebrating menopause through ritual and ceremony; and the value of being in groups which brought support and the means to share experiences. The research highlights the importance of attending to women’s psychological and spiritual needs during menopause. This study is my contribution to the field of psychotherapy and counselling, to enable myself and other professionals to view this important transition in a different way and part the veils of silence which surround it in my culture. ii Acknowledgments It has at times been a difficult journey of surrender to the process I engaged in with my menopausal transition and I would like to thank the following people who have been an integral part of my exploration through the research and writing up of this dissertation. Malcolm Reed, my first supervisor, who walked alongside me for the first year, as I wrestled with the challenges that the research brought to light. Sheila Trahar who truly midwifed this work so that it could be born. She has been an anchor and grounding force, offering understanding, and the fruits of her experience. She was a light for me to follow when I felt lost and disengaged during the process. Nigel Hamilton, Angela Gruber and Marianne Fitzgerald Klein at the Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy Education (CCPE) who taught and facilitated the advanced diploma in psychotherapy I engaged in during the research process. They and the other members of the group lovingly held and supported me, providing insight and understanding as I grappled with the research. I would also like to thank all my colleagues and staff at the CCPE for their interest and support of my work and in particular, Julie Scully. Loraine Grayston and Dawn Russell who facilitated the two shamanic retreats and all the women in those groups who provided encouragement and support. My dear friends who are my family for all their love, kindness and help in so many ways. Naomi Ozaniec, my spiritual teacher, mentor and friend for all her encouragement and guidance. Finally, my mother, father and all my ancestors who have passed. Your wisdom is with me every day. iii Author’s Declaration I declare that the work in this dissertation was carried out in accordance with the requirements of the University’s Regulations and Code of Practice for Research Degree Programmes and that is has not been submitted for any other academic awards. Except where indicated by specific reference in the text, the work is the candidate’s own work. Work done in collaboration with, or with the assistance of others, is indicated as such. Any views expressed in the dissertation are those of the author. Signed........................................................................Date.............................. iv Contents Abstract......................................................................................................................................ii Prologue .....................................................................................................................................1 Chapter 1: The Initial Engagement ............................................................................................3 Introduction............................................................................................................................3 Background to the Research ..................................................................................................3 An Interesting Research Problem ..........................................................................................5 Is there another way? ...........................................................................................................11 Mapping the inner terrain.....................................................................................................12 A Spiritual Perspective ........................................................................................................14 Some issues in researching myself through this transition ..................................................17 Conclusion ...........................................................................................................................18 Next Steps ............................................................................................................................19 Chapter 2: Literature Review...................................................................................................21 Introduction..........................................................................................................................21 The Menopausal Transition .................................................................................................21 The Menopausal Transition in Different Cultures ...............................................................27 Spiritual and Psychological Aspects of Menopause – A Great Rite of Passage..................29 Conclusion ...........................................................................................................................43 Chapter 3: Setting out on a Great Adventure...........................................................................44 Introduction..........................................................................................................................44 Moving into my Research....................................................................................................44 Autoethnography – Narrating Myself..................................................................................46 Movement through Text – Writing as Inquiry.....................................................................52 Ethical Issues and Complexities of doing Personal