A CHRISTMAS STORY Synopsis Act One The Prologue begins on Christmas Eve “many years ago’ with a middle aged Jean Sheperd walking to the WOR station in NYC to deliver his nationally beloved radio show. He starts to tell us the story of Ralphie Parker, a fictionalized version of his childhood self. The curtain rises on the Parker family home, nestled in the unremarkable town of Hohman, Indiana in 1940, as they try to get out the door for the event of the season: the unveiling of the Higbee’s Department Store holiday window display. Ralphie excitedly announces to us the thing he most longs for: The Official Red Ryder Range Model Carbine Action BB Gun. As he sings, we meet the rest of the Parker family. Mother bustles about, getting everyone suited up and ready to go. The Old Man comes in from the cold, chased by his arch nemeses, the Bumpus Hounds, a pair of bloodhounds who plague him every time he enters and exits the house. Seven-year-old Randy, the baby of the family, endearingly resists going out into the cold Indiana air. Finally, the family members are on their way and arrive at Higbee’s, where it seems all of Hohman has congregated to gaze in awe at the holiday window display (“It All Comes Down To Christmas”). It’s then that Ralphie sees the Red Ryder BB Gun right before his eyes and rapturously fantasizes about how much better his life would be if only he could get that for Christmas (“Red Ryder Carbine-Action BB Gun”). As he finishes, the crowd returns, with adults and children bustling about and singing about the importance of pulling off the perfect Christmas Season (“It All Comes down To Christmas -Reprise”). The crowd dissipates, and we are once more in the Parker family home where we find the Old Man hard at work on a crossword puzzle as Mother makes breakfast. As The Old Man attempts to solve the puzzle (with a little surreptitious help from Mother) he waxes poetic about how everyone would finally know how great he was if he could just win the award he’s completed so many crossword puzzles to get (“Genius On Cleveland Street”). He triumphantly finishes the puzzle and sends it on its way as the boys come downstairs for breakfast. Almost immediately, the furnace gives out and the Old Man, in a flurry of fake profanity, ventures downstairs to fix it. Mother asks the boys what they want for Christmas and Ralphie spastically announces that he wants a BB gun, to which she infamously responds, “Ralphie - You’ll shoot your eye out”. The boys finish breakfast and go on their way to school As they walk, they encounter Ralphie’s best friends, Flick and Schwartz, who are in a heated debate over whether or not a person’s tongue would stick to a flagpole if he licked it in the wintertime. However, their friendly feud is cut short by the arrival of the local bullies, Scut Farkus and Dill who proceed to terrorize them until the boys and the other schoolchildren empty their pockets. The bullies leave, satisfied with their loot, and the kids fantasize about the day they will get their revenge and hold their heads up high (“When you’re A Wimp”). They get to school where their buttoned up schoolmarm, Miss Shields, assigns them a theme on the topic of what they want for Christmas. Ralphie sees a serendipitous opening and excitedly writes about his need for the Red Ryder gun. As he writes, an even more elaborate fantasy ensues, in which Ralphie transforms into a heroic cowboy and the child and adult ensemble provide ample situations in which he can swoop in and save the day (“Ralphie to the Rescue”). Meanwhile, back at home, Mother is preparing dinner. She reflects and rejoices in her job as a mom, while balancing many literal and figurative plates (“What A Mother Does”). At the dinner table, Ralphie imagines Miss Shields arriving to tell his parents that she was tickled pink by his brilliant theme on the BB gun and that he absolutely must have it for Christmas. His dream is cut short when a telegram arrives for the Old Man informing him that he has won a major award in the contest he entered the week before. It arrives in the form of a garish leg lamp that displeases Mother, but finds the Old Man beside himself with joy. After placing it prominently in the front window, he brags of his accomplishment to the neighbors, and soon the ensemble is involved in his elaborate Leg Lamp fantasy, which provides the glitziest dance number in the show (“Major Award”). A few days later, the Parkers are on their way to get a Christmas tree when, suddenly, they get a flat tire (“Parker Family Sing Along”). The Old Man gets out to fix it and Mother tells Ralphie to help. Ralphie eagerly assists, but when he accidently drops all the lug nuts in the snow, he utters the “verboten” f-word. Mother nearly has a heart attack and the family returns home, where Life buoy soap awaits Ralphie and his dirty mouth. A nightmarish dream ensues in which Ralphie feels almost certain that his hopes of getting the BB gun are dashed as ghoulish ensemble members gleefully confirm his fears (“Act I Finale”). Act Two Act II opens on the schoolyard at recess, as Schwartz and Flick are again in the throes of arguing over whether Flick’s tongue would stick to the flagpole if he licked it.. Schwartz triple dog dares Flick to try it and see, which indeed results in him getting his tongue frozen to the pole. In a panic, the children return to class, where Miss Shields grills them on Flick’s whereabouts. She looks outside and quickly gets a rescue team together, including the fire and police departments, the school nurse, a doctor, and Flick’s mom (“Sticky Situation”). They finally get him unstuck and class goes back to business as usual, as Miss Shields returns their Christmas Present themes. To his chagrin, Ralphie receives a C+, resulting in another almost nightmarish fantasy in which Farkus and Dill drag him to a seedy speakeasy, in which the schoolchildren have taken on various mafia personalities from showgirls to henchmen. Soon Miss Shields arrives in a glitzy red sequined dress to ridicule Ralphie’s futile hopes of getting the gun for Christmas. She and one of the children perform a show stopping tap number as the song comes to a close (“You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out”). Ralphie defeated starts to walk home when he runs into Farkus and Dill who attempt to terrorize him, but because of his already beaten down emotional state, he finds himself with a strength he never knew he had and pummels Farkus into the ground. Randy runs off to get Mother, who returns and breaks up the fight, and takes a crying Ralphie and desperate Randy back home. She proceeds to comfort her children and reflect on the fleeting nature of difficult times as well as the preciousness of every moment (“Just Like That”). The Old Man returns home, angry to find out Ralphie has gotten into a fight. But before he can reprimand his son, Mother saves the day by distracting him with a suggestion that he take Ralphie to a baseball game. He agrees and exits to change the oil in the car, as Mother and Ralphie share a tender moment of mutual understanding and affection. Finally, Christmas Eve arrives and Parker boys, along with every other kid in town, are at Higbee’s to talk to Santa. Santa and the elves put on a good show, but are clearly exhausted by the onslaught of Santa-mania. Ralphie finally gets his turn to tell Santa what he wants and his mind goes completely blank. Just as he is being tossed off Santa’s lap, he remembers and delivers his request. Santa offhandedly tells Ralphie that he’ll shoot his eye out as he and the Elves go home for the night (“Up on Santa’s Lap”). The Parkers are already back at home later that evening when disaster strikes. Mother accidentally knocks over and breaks the leg lamp, causing her and The Old Man to come to blows. The Old Man storms out in search of glue, and Mother goes next door to compose herself. Ralphie and Randy brainstorm a way to make their parents feel better (“Before the Old Man Comes Home”). The Old Man returns, trying in vain to mend the lamp. Mother comes back as well and the two make up, as The Old Man accepts that his beloved prize is gone forever. Ralphie and Randy try to get to sleep but remain wide awake as they feverishly think about Santa and what he’ll bring the next morning. The ensemble children join in the song as they all joyfully hope to be on his good list, fantasizing about what awaits them the next morning (“Somewhere Hovering Over Indiana”). On Christmas morning, Ralphie is certain that he’s received the gun when he sees a long package with his name on it, but it turns out to be a bunny suit from his Aunt Clara. He sits in desolation, with dwindling hope, when his dad tells him to look over in the corner in the kitchen where there appears to be one last gift. It is of course the Red Ryder gun in all its glory.