www.freeclassicebooks.com Departmental Ditties By Rudyard Kipling www.freeclassicebooks.com 1 www.freeclassicebooks.com Contents VOLUME I: DEPARTMENTAL DITTIES AND OTHER VERSES .....................................................................4 DEPARTMENTAL DITTIES.........................................................................................................................4 GENERAL SUMMARY...............................................................................................................................5 ARMY HEADQUARTERS...........................................................................................................................6 STUDY OF AN ELEVATION, IN INDIAN INK...............................................................................................7 A LEGEND ................................................................................................................................................8 THE STORY OF URIAH..............................................................................................................................9 THE POST THAT FITTED .........................................................................................................................10 PUBLIC WASTE ......................................................................................................................................12 DELILAH.................................................................................................................................................13 WHAT HAPPENED .................................................................................................................................15 PINK DOMINOES ...................................................................................................................................17 THE MAN WHO COULD WRITE .............................................................................................................18 MUNICIPAL............................................................................................................................................19 A CODE OF MORALS..............................................................................................................................21 THE LAST DEPARTMENT........................................................................................................................23 BALLADS AND BARRACK‐ROOM BALLADS ............................................................................................24 BALLADS................................................................................................................................................24 THE BALLAD OF FISHER'S BOARDING‐HOUSE.......................................................................................24 AS THE BELL CLINKS ..............................................................................................................................26 AN OLD SONG .......................................................................................................................................28 CERTAIN MAXIMS OF HAFIZ..................................................................................................................30 THE GRAVE OF THE HUNDRED HEAD....................................................................................................32 THE OVERLAND MAIL (Foot‐Service to the Hills) ................................................................................35 WHAT THE PEOPLE SAID June 21st, 1887 ...........................................................................................36 THE UNDERTAKER'S HORSE ..................................................................................................................37 THE FALL OF JOCK GILLESPIE.................................................................................................................39 THE BETROTHED ...................................................................................................................................41 A TALE OF TWO CITIES ..........................................................................................................................43 VOLUME II BALLADS AND BARRACK‐ROOM BALLADS..........................................................................45 BALLADS................................................................................................................................................45 THE BALLAD OF EAST AND WEST..........................................................................................................45 THE LAST SUTTEE ..................................................................................................................................49 THE BALLAD OF BOH DA THONE...........................................................................................................58 THE LAMENT OF THE BORDER CATTLE THIEF .......................................................................................64 THE BALLAD OF THE CLAMPHERDOWN................................................................................................68 THE BALLAD OF THE "BOLIVAR"............................................................................................................70 THE ENGLISH FLAG................................................................................................................................72 "CLEARED".............................................................................................................................................75 AN IMPERIAL RESCRIPT.........................................................................................................................78 TOMLINSON ..........................................................................................................................................80 BARRACK‐ROOM BALLADS....................................................................................................................84 DANNY DEEVER.....................................................................................................................................85 2 www.freeclassicebooks.com TOMMY .................................................................................................................................................87 FUZZY‐WUZZY (Soudan Expeditionary Force).....................................................................................89 SOLDIER, SOLDIER .................................................................................................................................91 SCREW‐GUNS ........................................................................................................................................92 GUNGA DIN ...........................................................................................................................................94 OONTS...................................................................................................................................................96 LOOT......................................................................................................................................................98 'SNARLEYOW' ......................................................................................................................................100 THE WIDOW AT WINDSOR..................................................................................................................102 THE YOUNG BRITISH SOLDIER.............................................................................................................105 MANDALAY .........................................................................................................................................107 TROOPIN'.............................................................................................................................................109 FORD O' KABUL RIVER.........................................................................................................................110 ROUTE MARCHIN' ...............................................................................................................................111 3 www.freeclassicebooks.com VOLUME I: DEPARTMENTAL DITTIES AND OTHER VERSES DEPARTMENTAL DITTIES I have eaten your bread and salt, I have drunk your water and wine, The deaths ye died I have watched beside, And the lives that ye led were mine. Was there aught that I did not share In vigil or toil or ease, One joy or woe that I did not know, Dear hearts across the seas? I have written the tale of our life For a sheltered people's mirth, In jesting guise--but ye are wise, And ye know what the jest is worth. 4 www.freeclassicebooks.com GENERAL SUMMARY We are very slightly changed From the semi-apes who ranged India's prehistoric clay; Whoso drew the longest bow, Ran his brother down, you know, As we run men down today. "Dowb," the first of all his race, Met the Mammoth face to face On the lake or in the cave, Stole the steadiest canoe, Ate the quarry others slew, Died--and took the finest grave. When they scratched the reindeer-bone Someone made the sketch his own, Filched it from the artist--then, Even in those early days, Won a simple Viceroy's praise Through the toil of other men. Ere they hewed the Sphinx's visage Favoritism governed kissage, Even as it does in this age. Who shall doubt the secret hid Under Cheops' pyramid Was that the contractor did Cheops out of several