Experiences of Christian Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Queer Emerging Adults: Perceptions of Family Upbringing, Identity Reconciliation, and Meaning-Making Katherine Ann Hickey Thesis submitted to the faculty of the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Science In Human Development Erika Grafsky, Chair Katherine R. Allen Rosemary Blieszner March 21, 2014 Blacksburg, VA Keywords: queer, LGBT, emerging adults, religiosity Copyright Experiences of Christian Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Queer Emerging Adults: Perceptions of Family Upbringing, Identity Reconciliation, and Meaning-Making Katherine Ann Hickey ABSTRACT Religion, and in particular Christianity, is a salient part of American culture and informs policy decisions and family life. Within the past two decades, emerging adults have become less likely to maintain a religious affiliation and attend religious services, suggesting a decline in the country’s involvement with organized religious institutions. Non-heterosexual individuals are half as likely as their heterosexual counterparts to report a religious identity. The following study contextualizes these demographic findings and considers their potential impact on family life, and more specifically the interplay of religiosity with sexual identity development. Using a Constructivist Grounded Theory methodology, the current study presents data from eleven in- depth qualitative interviews with self-identified Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Queer (LGBQ) individuals between the ages of 20 and 25. Results are presented through three models. The first model illustrates the overlap of family and religious life, and their influence on sexual identity development. The second model depicts a three stage process through which participants made sense and meaning of the religious and familial discourses of their childhood: conflict, catalyst, and resolution. Particular attention is given to the final stage, resolution, and to the extraneous environmental factors that influenced how participants explained and made meaning of resolution. Finally, the third model described how participants constructed a LGBQ Christian identity, and how they perceive the acceptance of their identities by families and religious communities. This research contributes to existing literature by (a) examining the influence of a Christian upbringing on sexual identity development, (b) considering how individuals overcome conflict to integrate two seemingly iii exclusive identities, and (c) presenting how the adoption of a LGBQ Christian identity decenters heteronormativity and queers family relationships. iv Religion can do no more than conscientiously, fervently, indomitably sustain the sublime, superindividual significance of our living personality, with all of its deeply grounded relations, to the rest of life and to the world at large… Such religious sentiment, how divinely would it sanctify the great facts of human life - sanctify the mystery of love, when… on the wide fathomless sea of living existence, buoyed with lofty hope and eternal trust, life meets life in mutual love, tremblingly, joyously presentiment of higher and higher world fulfillment. Edmund Duncan Montgomery (1886, p. 1) v DEDICATION I dedicate this project to all who have felt lonely, unheard, or unseen in their place of worship. Surely the last shall be first (Matthew 20:16, KJV). vi ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I recognize that this work does not belong to me: it belongs first and foremost to the study’s participants who shared fear, hope, and beauty with a stranger. I consider it a great privilege to hold your stories, which I regard as deep miracles. I sincerely hope that you find an accurate and genuine representation of your experiences. I extend my gratitude to my parents, for teaching me and my siblings to walk in the way of grace. Our home was always safe and wide enough to contain our whimsical imaginations. Today still, I cherish the effort you made to teach us that the world could be beautiful, and to commission us as agents and carriers of beauty in our relationship with ourselves and with others. Adam, I am thankful for your relentless joy; you are a man of great character and integrity. Rebecca, I admire you as a strong, independent, and well-spoken woman who always stands up for others. You are an advocate and activist of the finest caliber. To my dear friends who carried me throughout my time in Blacksburg: Anna, I am humbled by the privilege of being your friend. Your goodness is never selfish. What a precious and rare quality to hold. Tonya, you were the first person to jump with me right into the sometimes awkward space that is the intersection of LGBT issues and Christianity. Your enthusiasm and insight have shaped and motivated me. To Natasha, for educating an introverted, Midwestern, Christian girl in LGBT issues with style and grace. And to Hoa, for the gift of vulnerability. This project would have never actualized without the support of my three committee members. Dr. Grafsky, thank you for letting me swim freely in the strange academic waters that are queer and Christian spaces. You never gave me easy answers; I credit your thoroughness and standards of excellence for making me a scholar. Dr. Allen, thank you for showing me that a vii researcher is never a mere observer, but an active character in the story she is telling. This thesis contains a lot more of myself than I had anticipated; thank you for modeling vulnerability. Dr. Blieszner, your talent and skill have shaped my academic time at Virginia Tech. I am thankful for your steadfast kindness and support. Final thanks are due to Dr. Ryan Peterson who acted as my first academic mentor at the University of Central Missouri. You were the first to affirm and encourage my academic pursuits. Your devotion to families fostered in me a love for the discipline. I remember the first time we met in your office; I was a timid freshman with big eyes and large ambitions. I hope to devote as much affection and attention to those around me as you did every week for four years. You have changed my life for the better. viii Table of Contents Chapter 1: Introduction Background of the Problem ............................................................................... 1 Gaps in the Literature......................................................................................... 2 Significance and Overview of the Current Study .............................................. 3 Theoretical Perspectives ................................................................................... 4 Symbolic Interaction .............................................................................. 4 Queer Theory ........................................................................................ 5 Chapter 2: Review of the Literature Introduction ........................................................................................................ 6 Emerging Adulthood .......................................................................................... 7 Demographics ....................................................................................... 8 Self-Perception ...................................................................................... 8 Identity Exploration .............................................................................. 9 Risky Behavior ...................................................................................... 10 Positive Development .......................................................................... 10 Sexuality ............................................................................................... 11 Critique of Emerging Adulthood .......................................................... 12 Sexual Identity Development ............................................................................. 13 Cass (1979) Model of Sexual Orientation Development ....................... 13 Carrion & Lock (1997) Model of Sexual Orientation Development ..... 14 Critique of Sexual Development Models .............................................. 15 Conceptualizing Sexual Orientation ..................................................... 18 Religious Identity ............................................................................................... 19 Religion vs. Spirituality ........................................................................ 19 Religious Identity Development ........................................................... 19 Christianity and Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans* (LGBT) Issues ............... 22 Christian Teachings on Same-Sex Attraction and Relationships .......... 22 Interpretations of Sacred Texts .............................................................. 23 The Experience of Being LGBT in Christian Spaces ........................... 26 Abstinence Discourse and Heterosexuality ........................................... 30 Chapter Summary .............................................................................................. 33 Chapter 3: Methods Introduction ........................................................................................................ 33 Methodological Paradigm .................................................................................. 34 Definitions.......................................................................................................... 36 Queer .....................................................................................................