WILLIAM FREDERICK HOWLETT B.A. JOURNALIST ALPINIST NATURALIST TEACHER by Ian St George William Frederick Howlett 1850–1935, aged about 26, the only known photograph. From glass monochrome quarter plate negative, Davis & Nairn collection, Nelson Provincial Museum ref. no. 6429. Reproduced with permission. Can this be the gentleman who… was known to fame as W.F. Howlett, B.A.? Not that his B.A. was absolutely the only one in the town, but he walked with it, talked with it, ate with it, and drank with it, until Howlett and his B.A., became one and indivisible. “Civis” in the Otago Witness 18 September 1890. Satire: artistic form, chiefly literary and dramatic, in which human or individual vices, follies, abuses, or shortcomings are held up to censure by means of ridicule, derision, burlesque, irony, parody, caricature, or other methods, sometimes with an intent to inspire social reform. https://www.britannica.com/art/satire CONTENTS Chapter 1. Mad, and no mistake 1 2. England 7 3. The remittance man 13 4. The teacher: Nelson & Dunedin 1875–1880 18 5. The editor: Patea 1881–1882 30 6. The teacher: Makaretu 1882–1886 33 7. The storekeeper: Pahiatua 1886–1888 50 8. Back to Makaretu and Ongaonga 1889–90 71 9. Tirenics 1890 81 10. Makuri 1891 92 11. The naturalist 101 12. The alpinist 128 13. The journalist & satirist 154 14. Eketahuna 1900 163 15. Olive 1902–1922 184 16. Wellington c.1920–1935 194 Epilogue 1. On life 202 2. On the balance 207 3. After thoughts 210 Illustrations William Frederick Howlett aged about 26 front Howlett’s “Election address”, October 1890 4 Family tree 9 St Andrews College, Bradfield 11 Clifton College 11 Nelson College in Howlett’s day 18 The Dunedin Athenaeum 23 Fairfield 35 Ashcott 35 Early Makaretu 36 Oscar Johansen’s map of Makaretu 39 The Lutheran church at Makaretu 41 Makaretu school and store 41 The Makaretu store 47 Howlett’s advertisement in the Pahiatua Star 1887 51 Main St Pahiatua 1907 55 The title page of Howlett’s Tirenics 82 Makuri Gorge 95 Howlett’s fowl’s cropstones at Te Papa 112 Howlett’s handwriting 120 Aciphylla squarrosa var. flaccida 126 Howlett’s Hut 136 Map: Khyber Pass, Moorcock’s Flat, Daphne Hut, Tiraha 140 Eketahuna 172 Map: Pahiatua, Eketahuna, Mangahao, Makuri, Tane 186 Olive Howlett’s headstone 193 8 Davis St Thorndon Wellington today 195 WF Howlett’s headstone 197 Ward 4 Wellington Hospital 198 Henry Hamilton Bridge 199 Henry Russell and guests at Mount Herbert 1876 200 William Russell Russell 201 Edward Alexander Haggen 201 A steelyard balance 208 1 CHAPTER 1: MAD, AND NO MISTAKE On 21 October 1890 the Reverend William Colenso wrote his regular gossip-filled letter from Napier to his young friend Coupland Harding in Wellington and said, Howlett has got an Election address out—for Masterton! He is mad, & no mistake, and should follow Harker 1 to asylum: if I can get you a copy (Bush. Adv. reprint) I will send it. 2 This was William Frederick Howlett, remittance man, schoolteacher, journalist, politician, thorn in the side of authority—articulate, straight talking, intelligent, cynical, clever, but generally regarded as a bit odd. Eighteen ninety was a big year for Howlett. He had started a regular column, named “Olla Podrida” in the Hawke’s Bay Herald in December 1889. His mother died in England in April 1890. His booklet Tirenics was published. He was Chairman of the Makaretu School Board, running a shop in Pahiatua and often writing letters to the editors of the Pahiatua Star and the Bush Advocate. Surviving copies of Howlett’s election address were printed at the Pahiatua Star.3 Howlett stood for Masterton as an independent but styled himself a “Tirenist” candidate.4 His manifesto read, FELLOW ELECTORS,— It is just three years and three months since I last issued an address similar to this. On that occasion I merely offered to go to the poll if you wished me to. If you have as much brains as I should like every man who votes for me to possess, you will first ask me WHY I WANT TO GET INTO THE HOUSE. My reply is that I am fond of getting behind the scenes. To regard the position of M.H.R. as an honor is absurd. A man is judged by his company, and as an ordinary member I should lose caste. I should, however, like very well to find out why such a number of seedy, out-at-elbows people hustle to get in. Whose 2 pockets do they get their fingers in? How are the steals arranged? You may be sure that the red-nosed men in patched boots and doubtful linen are not there for the honorarium, much less for the honor and glory: they have their axes to grind, and when I find out I will let you know. Please understand, also, that I am asking no favor at your hands. You want responsible and onerous work done, and nobody who knows me doubts my capacity to do it. Now I can’t deny that I could get a quid pro quo in the shape of knowledge. I could pick up a lot of experience in the House, and would not refuse to serve if elected. I should have access to a few men who really know something, and in exchange for the opportunity of learning I offer my services. The honorarium is to me a minus quantity. It would cost more than £200 to leave my home for three months, and it is doubtful how long I should stay in the House, as it is my peculiar task to ferret out abuses, abolish incompetent officials, and deny all received opinions. This would expose me to such a torrent of abuse and mud-pelting, that, as likely as not, I should throw up the sponge in a few years. You will, after reading this far, ask me next IS MY PURPOSE PURELY SELFISH. In 1887 it was. I then wrote “You see I regard Colonial politics as utterly petty, and decline to go into heroics. The reformation of a colony about as big as a second rate European town is not worth the life-blood of one man with a spark of genius in him, and if I find the stupid party can neither be suppressed nor educated, I shall go back to my store and wash my hands of politics.” This has all been changed. If as a “Tirenist” I can effect the reforms to be mentioned later, my purpose is a high one. MY GENERAL PLATFORM. Republican, Atheist, Malthusian; this is a dreadfully hard nut for the average elector to crack. Republican means, that I seek the welfare of the average man, and regard all accumulation of capital as an insult and a menace. Qualify this by adding that the thing, in my opinion, can’t be helped. Atheist means, that I never came across any God. There may be a dozen for all I 3 know. I am sick of hearing rival religions expounded. Nothing would be more interesting to a scientific man than a Creator, if we could only get him under our microscopes, but we can’t; and we don’t believe that the Jews, Christians, Mahommedans, and Buddhists know anything about the matter. Malthusian means, that poverty and crime are caused by over-breeding. I despaired in 1887 of explaining to electors why it was that no steps could be taken to check this. I said “It is not a question of practical politics here or anywhere else.” In 1890, the chief item in my policy. MY COLONIAL PLATFORM. Beyond a general support of whatever measures the most intelligent and honest men in the House approve of, I shall devote myself to Tirenism. What this is I have explained in a pamphlet procurable in the district. MY LOCAL PLATFORM. What is the use of saying I will be everyone’s friend and give £5 to every public cause? That is an old story, before elections. I shall spare no pains to obtain a revisal and consolidation of the ridiculous legislation commonly attributed to Mr Ballance; my opinion being that if one man (a selector) may not buy more than a limited area, then another man (a runholder) should not be permitted to hold any more; it being understood that by “more” I do not necessarily mean more in acres, but in producing power. I also wish for a definite and authoritative report on the question of a railway through Pahiatua, and an examination of certain legislation supposed to be necessary in Bush districts, where the laws about land, fencing, and bushfires, do not work well. WHAT DO I THINK OF———AND———? As I shall be asked “whether I am in favor of” half a hundred things, it is just as well to say that on a great number of subjects I have simply no information that would interest my querists. Many of the questions legislators have to deal with are excessively intricate and subtle, and depend for their solution on abstruse points of history and comparative jurisprudence, 4 Howlett’s “Election address”, October 1890, printed by the Pahiatua Star. Alexander Turnbull Library Eph-B-POLITICS-1890s. wherefore I am not rash enough to promise more than this: that I will make an attempt to understand some of them, and explain them in popular language at popular meetings. If all the members would do as much we should be better informed. To have definite opinions on the whole range of subjects that come before the House is beyond any man’s power.