1 FOREWORD A CLOSE-UP ON THE FREEDOM TO LOVE TO FREEDOM THE ON CLOSE-UP A By Dr. Holly Parker (Ph.D) Thankfully, each of us can play our part in striving toward an One of the most personal, meaningful environment that embraces decisions we can make is who we choose to healthy, loving relationships in be with; it’s connected to how gratified1 and 2 all their forms, where everyone content we feel . Sadly, even though we’ve is #freetolove without fear of made strides in embracing diversity and stigma, judgement, or shame. respecting people’s freedom to follow their As individuals and as a society, heart regardless of race, gender, religion, we need to question negative class, or identity, countless individuals still find stereotypes about diverse themselves unable to make this fundamental, couples, and extend more positive basic choice. and supportive messages to As this whitepaper from Closeup reveals, them, so they can enjoy the most although most young people yearn for a world fulfilling life possible. where everyone can be free to love the person To get started, read this whitepaper they want to love, fewer than 3 in 5 believe they to learn more about how you have the freedom of attraction. And it’s not hard can play a role in the #freetolove to see why; relationships can face prejudice as movement. With every step we society passes judgement on couples whose take towards dismantling prejudice pairing falls outside the lines of what it defines and discrimination and affirming as customary and appropriate. Such couples the inherent worth and equality of are more apt to face unfavourable attitudes, feel all people and relationships, we less accepted, and experience dismissive or 3 elevate the world we inhabit, for demeaning treatment . And acceptance matters. others and for ourselves. According to this study by Closeup, support Dr. Holly Parker is a psychologist with a from family and friends is a vital source of special interest in romantic relationships. reassurance and courage to foster a romantic In her work, she addresses the problem relationship. Even among those in the study of social prejudice and discrimination who took a risk and entered a romantic toward diverse couples. She’s the author relationship that fell outside conventional lines, of When Reality Bites (Hazelden, 2016), writes a blog for Psychology Today, and is half kept their love hidden in the dim shadows a lecturer at Harvard University. of secrecy, frightened of the consequences. This is all in keeping with what relationship science says can happen when relationships face stigma. Pressure from society, family4, 5 1 Dush, C.M.K., & Amato, P.R. (2005). Consequences of relationship status and quality for subjective and friends can limit who people date , lead well-being. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22, 607-627. them to hide their relationship6, or show less 2 Dyrdal, G.M., Roysamb, E., Nes, R.B., & Vitterso, J. (2011). Can a happy relationship predict a happy life? A population-based study of maternal well-being during the life transition of pregnancy, infancy, and 7 affection in public . Social disapproval is toddlerhood. Journal of Happiness Studies, 12, 947-962. 8 3 Lehmiller, J.J., & Agnew, C.R. (2006). Marginalized relationships: The impact of social disapproval on also linked with shame and stress for the romantic relationship commitment. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32, 40-51. 9 4 Yahya, S., & Boag, S. (2014). “My family would crucify me!”: The perceived influence of social pressure relationship and lower self-esteem , making on cross-cultural and interfaith dating and marriage. Sexuality and Culture, 18, 759-772. it harder for couples to create the connected 5 Levin, S., Taylor, P.L., & Caudle, E. (2007). Interethnic and interracial dating in college: A longitudinal study. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24, 323-341. bond they deserve. 6 Edmonds, C., & Killen, M. (2009). Do adolescents’ perceptions of parental racial attitudes relate to their intergroup contact and cross-race relationships? Group Processes and Intergroup Relations, 12, 5-21. 7 Vaquera, E., & Kao, G. (2005). Private and public displays of affection among interracial and intra-racial adolescent couples. Social Science Quarterly, 86, 484-508 8 Doyle, D.M., & Molix, L. (2015). Social stigma and sexual minorities’ romantic relationship functioning: A meta-analytic review. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 41, 1363-1381. 9 Lehmiller, J.J. (2012). Perceived marginalization and its association with physical and psychological 2 2 health. Journal of Personal and Social Relationships, 29, 451-469. HOW IT ALL BEGAN The thrill of falling in We realised that in many parts of the world, love is like nothing else. barriers still stand in the way of closeness. For fifty years Closeup Some young people are restricted by traditions has talked about getting or cultural mindsets. But they long for a world people closer, built on where they are free to act on their attraction. the belief that the feeling Wanting to get close to someone we love is a universal instinct. But it is not yet a universal of getting physically right. And we believe it should be. close to someone is irreplaceable. This As a brand that stands for closeness, we conviction has never believe we need to play a bigger role in creating changed. a world where everyone is free to love, and do so confidently without fear of reprisal and Closeup has been challenging judgement. One of the ways we can do that conventions since we started. is by going beyond stereotypical portrayals of Born in the sexual revolution picture-perfect couples, and to advocate for of the 1960’s, Closeup is the everyone’s right to get close. world’s first gel toothpaste infused with mouthwash. We We begin by first understanding the state of flipped oral care on its head – closeness amongst young people in three of our focusing instead on what really key markets: Brazil, India and the Philippines. mattered most to people: the We set up the Freedom of Attraction study to ability to move closer without explore into the hearts and desires of youths. having to pause or stop and Our study revealed that while enjoy being in the moment and the sheer excitement of 9 IN 10 moving closer. But we knew that the closer people got, the youths wish for a world where less confident they felt. So, people are free to be with the we made it our mission to give person they are attracted to, young people confidence in those “up close and personal” FEWER THAN 3 IN 5 situations, to help them to act feel they actually on mutual attraction. We also have that freedom. challenged accepted norms and encouraged young people Barriers hold people back from experiencing to feel free to get close. the most beautiful feeling in the world. Today more than ever we The results may be grim but they give us a know how important it is renewed sense of purpose for the next 50 to feel love and to share it. years and beyond. From now on, our purpose We also know that love can is to play a part in creating a world where happen regardless of race, everyone is free to love. Closeup will shift from gender, religion, affiliation or just advocating for closeness to celebrating social class. closeness of every kind. And we won’t stop until everybody is #freetolove. 3 THE CURRENT STATE OF ATTRACTION A CLOSE-UP ON THE FREEDOM TO LOVE TO FREEDOM THE ON CLOSE-UP A To get started, we For our qualitative research we used a needed to discover 3-pronged approach: what the state of attraction is today. ONE We wanted to gain First, we had to set the scene. a deep, holistic We studied the political, understanding of the social and economic context individual, familial of our three target markets. We immersed ourselves and societal barriers in academic papers, news to attraction faced by articles, reports and films. youths in our target We looked at the different markets. We sought barriers to attraction faced by to understand the youths in our target markets. consequences of these These included individual, barriers on their physical familial and societal barriers. and mental well-being. We set out to study three of TWO our key markets: Brazil, India Next, we needed to fully and the Philippines using both understand the consequences qualitative and quantitative of those barriers on our youths’ research. We wanted to see physical and mental well-being. how free our young people We interviewed representatives feel to act on their feelings of from academia, the media, attraction. All three of these NGOs and the corporate sector. countries have large youth All of them had experience populations (18-34 years old). working with young people. In India it is 27.4 per cent, in Brazil it is 25 per cent, and in THREE the Philippines, it is 20 per cent. Finally, we interviewed the youths themselves. We spoke to those who had personally experienced and overcome a barrier to attraction. We spoke to others who had given up because of the barriers. And we spoke to their parents. “Broke barrier” refer to those who were in an unconventional relationship10 at the time of the research “Did not break barrier” refer to those who had been in an unconventional relationship in the past, but who were at 10 Unconventional relationships refer to “same-sex”, “inter-caste” and “inter-racial” relationships, as per findings from the research the time of the research not in such a relationship. 4 Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” Maya Angelou 5 A CLOSE-UP ON THE FREEDOM TO LOVE TO FREEDOM THE ON CLOSE-UP A All this qualitative information helped us design the next stage of our study – the quantitative stage.