GIB QUITS HOUSE TO HUNT BIGF A JOURNAL OF FREE VOICES FEBRUARY 14, 1992 $1.50 Bill Clinton: Marilyn's Love Child by JFK LETTER To READERS Greetings, o most beloved, noble, sorely- euphemism for drunk pols — "the ruddy-faced missed and best of all readers in the world, representative." this is ol' M.I. comin' at you after an absence of The old rules, which I still believe in, frustrate 16 years. Dugger conned me into.coming back reporters because of the hypocrisy factor. All for a shot as Guest Editor on account of me being male pols run for office with one arm draped slightly unemployed at the moment, and I STILL around "the little woman," blathering for all say being editor of the Texas Observer is the they're worth about "family values" and "the A JOURNAL OF FREE VOICES best job in American journalism. Still doesn't importance of the family." Some actually are We will serve no group or party but will hew hard to pay squat either. wonderful family men (Paul Tsongas comes to the truth as we find it and the right as we see it. We are dedicated to the whole truth, to human values above all You may have noticed I decided to take the mind) and others aren't. There's a temptation to interests, to the rights of human-kind as the foundation Observer tabloid this issue: hell, everyone else expose the hypocrites, but the press gets itself of democracy: we will take orders from none but our own is doing it, why not the T.O.? What a swell cou- into a terrible bind if it goes that route. If conscience, and never will we overlook or misrepresent the truth to serve the interests of the powerful or cater ple of weeks for journalistic ethics this has been. Clinton's sex life is a story, so is Bob Kerrey's, to the ignoble in the human spirit. We were privileged to watch our professional and so is Jerry Brown's, and then, just to be non- Writers are responsible for their own work, but not colleagues grilling Gennifer Flowers: "Did he partisan, we have dredge up the old stories about for anything they have not themselves written, and in pub- lishing them we do not necessarily imply that we agree use condoms?" "Were there any threesomes?" George Bush's mistress. While we're mucking with them because this is a journal of free voices. Why didn't they just cut to the chase and ask around in that headline-producing slime, the SINCE 1954 if Clinton is a good lay? problems of a country dead in the water — with But in the wake of our recent wallow in the economy stalled, the cities rotting, and the Publisher: Ronnie Dugger self-righteous condemnation of gutter journal- schools failing to teach — never get addressed. Guest Editor: Molly Ivins Associate Editor: James Cullen ism (with my humble self spear-carrying in Better to let the hypocrites go in peace. Managing Editor: Brett Campbell the ranks for all I was worth), the press now The press has in recent years become.besot- Layout and Design: Diana Paciocco needs to step carefully indeed — not into Bill ted with its self-appointed mission to examine Copy Editors: Roxanne Bogucka, Amy Root Mexico City Correspondent: Barbara Belejack Clinton's private life, but into his public actions. "the character issue" among candidates. But there Editorial Intern: Roddy de la Garza It's one thing for him to have an affair with a is no observable relationship between moral rec- Contributing Writers: Bill Adler, Betty Brink, Warren Burnett, Jo Clifton, Terry FitzPatrick, Gregg Franzwa, woman who spells Jennifer with a G; it's anoth- titude and public efficacy: Jimmy Carter is, I James Harrington, Bill Helmer, Ellen Hosmer, Steven er to put this woman on the state payroll. I don't believe, as moral a man as we've elected to the Kellman, Michael King, Mary Lenz, Tom McClellan, care if they were just pen-pals, the people of presidency: but at the end of his first term, the Bryce Milligan, Greg Moses, Debbie Nathan, Gary Pomerantz, Lawrence Walsh. Arkansas shouldn't have been paying the salary majority of our fellow citizens didn't think much Editorial Advisory Board: David Anderson, Austin; of a woman who was only the 9th best-qualified of him as a president. Lyndon Johnson was a Frances Barton, Austin; Elroy Bode, Kerrville; Chandler on a list of 11 applicants for her job. That's a fairly foul specimen as a human being; but had Davidson, Houston; Dave Denison, Cambridge, Mass; Bob Eckhardt, Washington, D.C.; Sissy Farenthold, scandal. One doesn't toss it off because the press it not been for Vietnam, he would be remem- Houston; Ruperto,Garcia, Austin; John Kenneth Galbraith, has so embarrassed itself asking moronic ques- bered as one our greatest presidents. Cambridge, Mass.; Lawrence Goodwyn, Durham, N.C.; George Hendrick, Urbana, Ill.; Molly Ivins, Austin; Larry tions of Jennifer with a G. One thing the Clinton megillah has done for L. King, Washington, D.C.; Maury Maverick, Jr., San Larry Nichols, the fellow with a grudge Texans is to answer the burning query of 1990 Antonio; Willie Morris, Oxford, Miss.; Kaye Northcott, who filed a lawsuit against Clinton last year, -- Should Ann Answer the Question? As Austin; James Presley, Texarkana; Susan Reid, Austin; Geoffrey Rips, Austin; A.R. (Babe) Schwartz, Galveston; clearly has an axe to grind — Clinton fired Dave McNeely noted, if the answer to either Fred Schmidt, Fredericksburg. Nichols from his job at the Arkansas question — have you ever committed adul- Development Finance Authority. From Nichols' tery? have you ever used an illegal drug? — had Poetry Consultant: Thomas B. Whitbread Contributing Photographers: Bill Albrecht, Vic Hint- lawsuit and other sources, one gathers the ADFA been "No," we would have heard it long ago. I erlang, Alan Pogue. was Clinton's personal fiefdom, and his use of was among those in '90 who thought Ann Contributing Artists: Eric Avery, Tom Ballenger, Richard Bartholomew, Jeff Danziger, Beth Epstein, it for both political and personal purposes bears Richards should have said, "Yeah, I smoked pot Dan Hubig, Pat Johnson, Kevin Kreneck, Michael Krone, close investigation. a couple of times, there it is, don't vote for me Carlos Lowry, Ben Sargent, Dan Thibodeau, Gail The oldest of all rules for political reporters if you're horrified." I was wrong. Answering the Woods, Matt Wuerker. trying to get a take on how someone will per- question only leads the press to ask more ques- Managing Publisher: Cliff Olofson form in higher public office is "look at the tions. "Where? When? Who with?" "Did he use Subscription Manager: Stefan Wanstrom record." The private peccadillos of public offi- condoms?" "Were there any threesomes?" Executive Assistant: Gail Woods Special Projects Director: Bill Simmons cials have traditionally been considered fair game **** Development Consultant: Frances Barton only if (A) they wound up on the police blotter For this issue, I have re-instituted an old SUBSCRIPTIONS: One year S27. two years $48. three years $69. Full-time (when Congressman Wilbur Mills of Arkansas Northcott-Ivins rule (we co-edited from 1970 to students $15 per year. Back issues S3 prepaid. Airmail. foreign, group, and bulk rates on request. Microfilm editions available from University Microfilms Intl.. was found by the D.C. police swanning about 1976) for putting out the T.O., a balance between 300 N. Zeeb Road, Ann Arbor, MI 48106. Any current subscriber who finds in the reflecting pool in the company of a strip- Funs and Worthies. After wallowing in the state's the price a burden should say so at renewal time; no one need forgo reading the Observer simply because of the cost. per professionally known as the Argentine political idiocy for a few pages, you then have THE TEXAS OBSERVER (ISSN 0040-45 I 9/USPS 541300), C) 1992, is Firecracker, the press was entitled to a field day: to learn something that will be Good for You. published biweekly except for a three-week interval between issues in January and July (25 issues per year) by the Texas Observer Publishing Co., you can't expect us not to enjoy it when God After you've thoroughly depressed yourself by 307 West 7th Street, Austin, Texas 78701. Telephone: (512)477:0746. Second- class postage paid at Austin. Texas. gives us a story like that) or (B) when some learning about how awful some important POSTMASTER: Send address changes to THE TEXAS OBSERVER. 307 West 7th Street, Austin, Texas 78701. private behavior begins to affect a politician's problem is, you then get to switch back to light performance in public life. When L. Mendel comedy in the Capitol. My old and new friends, A Member of the Rivers showed up reeling-drunk on the floor I only hope you enjoy reading this issue as much Association of • Alternative Newsweeklies of the House to blither, we should have writ- as we enjoyed putting it together. ten about it. In those days we had a genteel code — MOLLY IVINS 2 • FEBRUARY 14, 1992 Lessarstimmtv 4 Gibber & Other ir ., bill TIXAS 111111P FEBRUARY 14, 1992 Misdemeanors VOLUME 84, No. 3 FEATURES BY MOLLY IVINS ing ramifistations." "It could have bad rami- fistations in the hilterlands." "This problem is Gibber & Other Misdemeanors OD WE'RE GOING to miss House a two-headed sword: it could grow like .a By Molly Ivins 3 Speaker Gib Lewis. It's not often we mushing room." "We don't want to skim the Redistricting From D to R G get a target like that in public office cream off the crop here." "We'll run it up the By Molly Ivins 5 (come to think of it, it's not all that rare either flagpole and see if anyone salutes that booger." — look at our last governor, and the one before In Gibberish, anything unusual was "adnor- A Tribute to Rupert Koeninger that, and the one before that and By Ronnie Dugger 7 the one before that).