Peter’s Place A Center for Grieving Children and Families Comfort. Hope. Healing. 150 N. Radnor-Chester Road, Suite F 130 • Radnor, PA 19087 • Phone: 610-687-5150 • Fax: 610-687-5120 Summer/Fall 2008 Email: [email protected] • Web address: www.petersplaceonline.org An Eye Toward the Future Peter’s Place In Action at Episcopal Academy Melissa K. Ingersoll, J.D., Executive Director With great enthusiasm, I take this opportunity to introduce myself to the The following excerpt is from a personal essay Peter’s Place community of friends, supporters, and volunteers. I am honored by Faézé Woodville, a parent at the Episcopal Academy and a dedicated member of the to take on the role of Executive Director of an organization with such worth Peter’s Place fundraising community and impact in our community. Last fall, I got a call at 10 p.m. from my friend and After the sudden death of the mother of my daughter’s classmate last year, fellow homeroom mother for the third-grade followed by the death of my daughter’s soccer teammate, we sought out Peter’s Place, in the form of class at EA informing me of the death of a child Board member Karen Moon, for advice and support. As we experienced firsthand the good work done in the school. I felt so grief-stricken, so puzzled, here, my devotion to the organization grew. Last spring, I found myself co-chairing the Bowling Ball so aching. I had so many questions and not one fundraiser along with longtime supporter and new Board member Robin Marzelli Pew, an experience plausible answer or explanation I could offer that solidified my commitment to this organization. My new role here is a wonderful opportunity to the other families in our grade, my own sons, combine my legal and fundraising experience with my passion for Peter’s Place. or myself. During two weekends in August and September, I took part in the annual facilitator training required of our new volunteers in order to work with our staff in the support groups. An amazing assortment of All at once, I felt sad for the child, for her family, committed individuals donated 28 hours of their time to be trained as Grief Facilitators. The reasons for my sons, for myself, and frankly for all other people are drawn to Peter’s Place are varied, but many have suffered or been witness to significant parents of children that age. Suddenly, we had loss in their lives. These individuals have used the impact of their losses to find purpose, strength, and to face the weight of coping with the death of a inspiration through their work here. I continue to find that, for all the hours contributed by those who loved one—in this case a young child. work and volunteer here, Peter’s Place gives back to us as much, or even more, than we are giving. We all wanted to express our grief, learn how to My challenge as Executive Director is to solidify the financial security of Peter’s Place, and thus ensure best help our children, hold on to one another, that our in-house support programs and outreach programs in the community can continue to grow and reach out to the parents of the student. The and expand into the future. Increasing our exposure and relationships within the community through children wanted to know what to do with her accessible events, and building our relationships with area foundations and corporations, will help us desk, what would happen to her uniform and achieve our goals. We continue to rely heavily on you—our stalwart friends and supporters—to keep us holiday presents, how she died, why she died, on even footing while these goals are realized. The importance of such generosity cannot be overlooked, what the funeral was all about, and if they were and we thank you for continuing to believe in and support the good work that is accomplished here. supposed to feel sad every day. I am fortunate to have been given this opportunity to build upon the important accomplishments of We parents wanted to know how to face this those who came before me to increase our exposure, our growing programs, and our fiscal security. incredible part of life for ourselves, our children, Despite the sad reasons that bring people here, Peter’s Place is an inspirational, positive, even cheerful and the family of the student. Should we place. Good things happen here. Our sunny open windows and bright colors make it a lovely place prepare meals, send notes and flowers, or just to be. We have many opportunities for volunteers—our monthly Pretzels for Peter’s Place sale here at weep quietly while remembering each detail of the Radnor Financial Center, upcoming fundraising events, greeting those arriving for support groups, annual facilitator training, and others. In addition, donations are greatly appreciated and necessary; our continued on page 3 website, www.petersplaceonline.org, offers a variety of ways to give, in addition to a Wish List of needed items (see p. 7 for more details). If you find yourself in Radnor, please drop in and introduce yourself to me—and find out what you can do to help keep this amazing place healthy and strong. In Their Own Words Children and teens share the best thing about coming to Peter’s Place… “Feeling normal because I’m with others who are going through similar things.” It’s nice to talk with other people about the death, “especially because they can relate. It’s nice to hear from other people, too.” “That I can talk to others like me who understand my sadness.” “It lets me talk about it.” “Meeting other people like me.” And caregivers say… 2007–2008: Peter’s Place By the Numbers Being in a support group with others who share Support Groups Outreach “your loss, don’t judge you, and are willing to listen • This year we served 208 children and • 31 outreach programs directly served with open minds. My children share their grief with 188 adults in support groups—a 42% 1,106 people and touched over 10,000 other children and are learning it’s okay to grieve increase over last year. lives. Our direct service numbers in whatever way they need to. It has helped them increased 262% over last year! open up to me a bit more. • 155 families and 22 individual adults ” participated in groups. The organizations and schools we served I find I am not the only one who is going through • 28 biweekly support groups were held in 2007–08 include: “the most painful time of my life. It helps to know from September–June (13 for children/ • American Day Treatment Center others feel the same way. teens, 13 for caregivers, 1 for young adults, • Brandywine Middle School ” and 1 for survivors of suicide). • Brooke Glen Behavioral Health Interacting with others and listening to them “ • Chester County MH/MR made me realize I can help them in the same way Intakes they have helped me and my children—by being • Child and Family Focus together and sharing. • 70 families, up 11% from last year, were • Conestoga High School ” seen at intake. • Crime Victims’ Center of Chester Thank you for offering this unique and wonderful • 192 individuals (adults and children County, Inc. “program. The caring way we were welcomed was combined) were seen at intake. • Delaware County Intermediate Unit great. I feel my family has benefited, and we have • 65 new families (73 adults and 88 • Delaware County Juvenile faced—and continue to deal with—this devastating children) enrolled in support groups, up Detention Center place we’ve found ourselves in. ” 12.5% from last program year. • Gift of Life Donor Program • Holcomb Behavioral Health Systems Volunteers and Internships • Northeast Treatment Centers • 44 Grief Facilitators volunteered in • Pennsylvania Virtual Charter School Our Mission groups, donating over 235 hours per month • Radnor High School Peter’s Place provides a safe in service. • The Shipley School and supportive environment • 12 new Grief Facilitators completed our • St. Katharine of Siena School 28-hour volunteer training. • The Coad Group for grieving children and families • 2 graduate students did practicum • The Episcopal Academy and acts as a community resource placements at Peter’s Place, each • The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to foster understanding of the contributing 100 hours. • Wayne Elementary effects of death and grief. • 3 people gave up to 5 hours per week • Wayne Presbyterian Church greeting families and helping with intakes. • West Chester University 2 Episcopal Academy, continued from page 1 raising a child for 8 years—every joyful, stressful, and demanding moment of it. Soon after the death, Peter’s Place offered to come to EA to conduct grief counseling sessions for the students and their parents. After the initial regular sessions, they held monthly voluntary sessions for students to talk about their feelings and experiences. My son Thomas had reservations about attending the first voluntary session, but I told him that I wanted him to. When I picked him up, Thomas was smiling. He said he was glad he had gone because the counselor looked like he was from Iran (where I grew up) and had brought the best crackers! That evening he talked about the questions he and his classmates had raised, at times seeming uneasy about what he thought were insensitive comments but still feeling he could open up about them. The next morning, he said, “Mommy, I wish I had taken one last good look at [my friend]. I wish I knew that it was going to be the Weaving Our Stories last time I got to see her.” Carrie Miluski, MS, Program Director I witnessed the children express sadness, confusion, A tapestry that hangs at Peter’s Place was created by the children, teens, seeming indifference, and joy as they processed the and adults that participate in groups here.