6 HOLIDAY SPIRIT TRAVERSE CITY RECORD-EAGLE Thursday, December 4, 2003 New gift-giving rules to get in the true holiday spirit BY STEPHANIE JOSEPH LONG posed to spend. By my 30s, ness, not by our seeming in my heart that is good. I I’m helping. give anonymously in order Special to the Record-Eagle the rules of appropriate greatness.” take great pleasure in find- I want to ensure that to help myself not expect gift giving that I had So I’m going to start the ing and giving what I think there will be no external anything in return. It prob- Who should I include on learned from our culture season of gift giving with will be fun, unique gifts. reward of any kind, ably won’t work with my my holiday gift list this became more confining simple goodness in mind It’s my doubt in the whether it be a tax break family because each time year? What should I buy? and rigid, and I started to because it puts all my gift- receiver’s ability to appre- or thanks, because the someone opens a gift with- Did I buy for her last year? dread shopping. I hated giving fears into perspec- ciate my intent, though, word “charity” suggests out a name tag, they’ll Will he expect something what I perceived as the test tive. that stops me from giving altruism, giving without eventually catch on that no fun or useful? of finding the “right” How many times before what I want to give and expectation of receiving. gift tag equals me. I’ll have Ahhhh, stress! All too Christmas gifts and the have I found what I persuades me to give what It’s the expectation of to do it for strangers. This familiar rantings, but inevitable spending binge believed to be the perfect I think the receiver expects receiving that I’ve got to will require that I give to thankfully, no more. I vow and debt that would follow. gift for someone only to put to see from me. My first give up. I don’t like admit- people who either have to give differently this This year, I’m not having it down in a flurry of doubt. new rule for this season is ting that I do secretly wish never received anything year. it. I’m tired of letting exter- It doesn’t cost enough; to trust myself in choosing for something in return, from me in the past and When I was a kid, I loved nal forces dictate my gift- they’ll think I’m cheap. It’s gifts that I think will be that deep down I still have who, therefore, won’t be making Christmas gifts and giving philosophy. not fancy enough; they’ll meaningful and to trust a small voice that is saying, expecting anything or to was happy to give macaroni For starters, I’m going to think I’m not creative. It’s those whom I love to accept “Please, please, please!” people who don’t know me. pictures and pressed start trusting my instincts. I not fill-in-the-blank them. Intellectually, I under- So this year, I’m going to leaves. That didn’t last long had never realized before enough; they’ll think I’m Rule number two this stand that this voice is self- give by my own rules. If it and by late childhood, I how much trust was something bad. I’ve tor- year is going to be to give ish, so I don’t ever speak it works, who knows? Maybe was doing extra jobs involved in giving. We risk tured myself with self- charitably. And not just to (until now), but there’s still then I’ll tackle the ever- around the house so I could rejection every time we doubt for years. the local shelter or the a small part of me who repressive New Year’s res- buy presents for my family. give a gift. William Arthur It’s my goal this year to needy. When I give to a keeps score. This year I olutions next. I came to learn, unfortu- Ward, the noted American give gifts, not because they charity, I often get a want to give charitably — nately, that real gifts were scholar and teacher, said, will allow me to seem receipt for a tax write-off, freely and without strings. Stephanie Joseph Long is store-bought. I also came to “Each of us will one day be great, but because they and when I volunteer, I Which brings me to rule a local teacher and free- learn that the older I got, judged by our simple good- come from a simple place receive the thanks of those number three. I’m going to lance writer. the more money I was sup- Some Christmas traditions ‘New’ holiday music includes classy anthologies BY RICHARD HARRINGTON “Christmas in Hollis.” rations like Duke Hampton Callaway have a have legendary origins The Washington Post While there are mostly Ellington’s sublime “Sugar challenge matching up to familiar songs done with Rum Cherry” (reinventing standard-setters like Ella Here’s a sampling of holi- good cheer, other titles the “Dance of the Sugar Fitzgerald (who somehow BY PAT STEIN been good. day releases: reveal a certain attitude Plum Fairy”) and Lionel elevates “Rudolph the Red- Copley News Service Children in many coun- ä “Genuine Houserockin’ tries around the globe problem: “December Is for Hampton’s shimmering Nosed Reindeer”), Carmen “‘Twas the night before Christmas” (Alligator). continue to hang Cynics” (by the Matches), “White Christmas,” and McRae, Nancy Wilson and Christmas and all through Mostly original holiday Christmas stockings, but “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” such spirited numbers as Rosemary Clooney, whose the house, not a creature tunes from the Chicago in some countries the cus- (Fall Out Boy), “I Won’t Be Pearl Bailey’s “Jingle Bells, 1954 solo version of “White was stirring, not even a label’s roster of blues, soul tom is to set out shoes. Home for Christmas” (Blink- Cha Cha Cha” and Louis Christmas” was featured in mouse. and zydeco artists. In France, children 182) and “Christmas Night Prima and Keely Smith’s the classic film “Holiday “The stockings were Highlights include harpist place their shoes by the of Zombies” (MXPX). “Shake Hands With Santa Inn” but never appeared on hung by the chimney with Carey Bell’s hard-chugging fireplace, a custom dating The creators of theUltra- Claus.” the soundtrack. care, in hopes that St. “Christmas Train,” Lil’ Ed back to when children Lounge series serve up a ä“Under The Mistletoe ä“Cool December A Nicholas soon would be and the Blues Imperials’ wore wooden shoes. In trio of albums under the Reindeer & Romance” Warm and Fuzzy Winter” there ...” stomping slide-guitar-dri- Italy, on Jan. 5, the night banner “Wonderland emphasizes the latter, from emphasizes the full range of There’s hardly a holiday ven “Christmas Time,” before Epiphany, children Adventures in Popular Peggy Lee’s gauzy “The romantic holiday idylls, tradition that’s more uni- Shemekia Copeland’s sly put out their shoes for La Culture” (Shout). Christmas Spell” and Sarah from Bing Crosby’s “Looks versally cherished than “Stay a Little Longer, Befana, the good witch, to ä“Yulesville: The Other Vaughan’s ornate Like a Cold, Cold Winter” the Christmas stocking. Santa” and Little Charlie & fill. Good Italian children Side of Tinseltown” fea- “Goodnight My Love” to Lou and Pearl Bailey and Hot Legend has it that the cus- the Nightcats’ oh-so-true receive toys and candy in tures warm crooners Dean Rawls’ virile “Merry Lips Page’s “Baby, It’s Cold tom of hanging Christmas “It’s Christmas Time Again their shoes while those Martin and Leon Redbone Christmas Baby” and Dinah Outside” to Billie Holiday’s stockings for Santa to fill (Spend, Spend, Spend).” who have been bad get and cool singers Julie Washington’s languid “Ole 1937 recording of “I’ve Got with gifts (for good little ä “A Very Special rocks and ashes. London and Claudine Santa.” Contemporary My Love to Keep Me Warm.” boys and girls) or lumps of Acoustic Christmas” (Lost In Hungary, children Longet (the hilariously vocalists Steve Tyrell, Kevin coal (for those who have Highway). The sixth in the shine their shoes before kitschy “Snow”), jazz explo- Mahogany and Ann been bad) began in the popular “A Very Special putting them near the olden days. Christmas” series features door or a windowsill for The legend tells of a acoustic-based songs per- St. Nicholas to fill and in kindly nobleman whose formed by an array of coun- Holland, the children fill wife had died of an ill- try artists. Norah Jones The Record-Eagle on Vacation their shoes with hay and a ness, leaving the widowed ruminative take on Horace carrot for the horse of man and his three unmar- Silver’s “Peace” has long Sinterklaas (Santa Claus). ried daughters in despair. been featured in her con- In Puerto Rico, children For every paper you donate to Newspapers in To make matters worse, cert performances. Other put greens in small boxes the widower lost all his highlights include the sweet and place them under Education while on vacation, the Record-Eagle money in bad investments melancholy of Alan their beds for the camels and had hardly enough Jackson’s “Just Put a of the three kings. money for food and shel- Ribbon in Your Hair,” will provide a local classroom with three. In contemporary times, ter, much less for dowries Marty Stuart’s jovial work stocking stuffers range for his daughters.