SWARTHMORE APRIL 2019 Paris des gilet jaunes Photos by Max Gruber PLUS . Zero waste and Takamari Damacy . “South by Swarthmore” . Chinese international students and their American therapists CONTRIBUTORS Kenny Bransdorf (he/him) is ready to d-d-d-d- Duel. Letter policy Daniel Bidikov (he/him) is a senior. He fears that some of you may not have the opportunity to grow Letters are welcome from all readers. We will not ever old. publish letters anonymously and we reserve the right to edit all letters for length and clarity without contacting Kat Capossela (she/her) is a sophomore from Boston who spends her Thursday nights watching the letter writer. Letters generally should run no longer Bob’s Burgers and waiting for someone to give her than 1,000 words. They should be sent to swatreview@ an internship. gmail.com Maya Deutsch (she/her) is a senior English Literature Major and Japanese minor. She mostly follows trans women and people who draw girls kissing each other on twitter. How to contribute Leo Elliot (he/him) is This. Close. to turning this Submissions of longform reporting, personal, argumen- clown car around. Got it? tative and photo essays, book and media reviews, short stories, poems, and anything else that seems suitable can Max Gruber (he/him) is a Junior studying art history, history, and Spanish literature. He tries to be e-mailed to Leo Elliot, editor-in chief. Submissions hide the fact that he has no personality behind clear- will be considered from Swarthmore students, alumni, framed glasses. faculty, and staff, and will be considered anonymously, though will will not, except in rare cases, publish anony- Nicole Liu (she/her) is an English major and psych mously. Submissions should generally not go longer than minor. She has an acute interest in real estate, and is a master at parsing craigslist ads. Contact her if you 10,000 words. are ever on the run. She will meet you where the ducks used to park. You alone understand what this Contact: [email protected] means. The ducks are watching. Take care. Quack. Gabriel Meyer-Lee (he/they) has spent four years writing various arts related things at this hallowed EDITOR-IN-CHIEF institution and now is ✈️鸞. LEO ELLIOT MANAGING EDITORS Kathy Nguyen (she/they) is a sophomore, very ANNA WEBER proficient at sudoku and at embarrassing herself. She & HOPE DARRIS is also Yelp Duchess of Hobbs. FEATURES Alexis Riddick (she/her) is a junior from Philly GABRIEL MEYER-LEE studying Educational Studies, English Literature, and Black Studies. She particularly enjoys writing PERSONAL ESSAYS poetry, close-reading your problematic faves, and HOPE DARRIS talking crap in Kohlberg Cafe. PHOTO ESSAYS TYLER WHITE Anna Weber (she/her) is a senior at Swarthmore, studying English Literature, Gender and Sexuality FICTION & POETRY Studies, and Peace and Conflict Studies. She grew up KENNY BRANSDORF 15 minutes from where Prince lived in Minnesota and will never get over it. BOOKS ANNA WEBER Design © 2017 the Swarthmore Phoenix. All content Yi Wei (she/her) is a sophomore from China then © 2018 by its listed author unless otherwise noted. MOVIES & TV Ohio then New Jersey, studying English with a The “R” logo is based on the font Layer Cake by Lu- KAT CAPOSSELA double minor in Education and Soc/Anth. She likes zia Prado. The “Review” logo is based on the font longwinded sentences and co-hosting her literary Soraya by Pactrice Scott. Printed at Bartash Print- MUSIC lifestyle podcast, “A Bitch’s Guide to Books.” ing, Philadelphia, PA. Please recycle this magazine. KATHLEEN NGUYEN Tyler White (he/him) is an advocate, critic, WEB EDITOR and humanist seeking to always understand the Published by the Swarthmore Phoenix BELLARA HUANG intersections of identity, society, and history. swarthmorephoenix.com ILLUSTRATIONS SAGE RHYS LAYOUT EDITOR EVA BARON 2 APRIL 2019 SWARTHMORE REVIEW “By the road to the contagious hospital under the surge of the blue mottled clouds driven from the northeast—a cold wind.” from “Spring and All,” by William Carlos Williams April 2019 ARTS BOOKS PHOTO ESSAY FEATURES Decoding Title IX 30 Paris des gilet A textual analysis of the Yale Suicide, family, and jaunes 20 Fraternity Laswusit self-identity by Anna Weber 4 When in France, do as the What international Chinese French do: PROTEST students don’t tell their American “Super Late Bloomer” 32 by Max Gruber therapists Julia Kaye’s new comic portrays the by Nicole Liu unique temporality of transition by Maya Deutsh Zero waste Ethics, environmental 9 awareness, and video games MUSIC by Dan Bidikov Solange is back 34 “When I Get Home” gives voice to Solange’s black womanhood PERSONAL ESSAYS FICTION & POETRY by Tyler White Mother tongue The Old Gun by Yi Wei 15 by Kenny Bransdorf 25 Goblet on fire 35 A conversation with Swarthmore’s The Real World: hottest new band Swarthmore 16 Two poems 28 by Leo Elliot by Alexis Riddick by Kathy Nguyen MOVIES “My Brilliant Friend” 37 HBO adapts Ferrante’s novels by Kat Capossela South x Swarthmore 38 Filmmaking at the margins of the institution by Gabriel Meyer-Lee SWARTHMORE REVIEW APRIL 2019 3 FEATURE WHAT INTERNATIONAL CHINESE STUDENTS DON’T TELL THEIR AMERICAN THERAPISTS Suicide, Family, and Self-Identity by Nicole Liu CW: suicide and suicidal thinking, homophobia shop at Harvard Square in Cambridge, ner that night nor did he stop laughing All names used in this article are Massachusetts. She clutched her heavy at orientation. It was only behind the pseudonyms or modified nicknames. backpack tightly against her chest, some- closed door of his bedroom that he col- This is to protect the interviewees from times resting her chin there, claiming she lapsed into violent tears. any future harm that may come from re- was perfectly comfortable just balanc- vealing information that is still stigma- ing it on her knee, occasionally sparing Evan, then 18, had tized in many communities. a hand to pick up her milk tea and take some rapid, bubbly gulps. A red lanyard arrived at his dream Some of the interview content is con- from Harvard Summer School, where veyed in Chinese or a combination of she was taking classes, was permanently school’s orientation Chinese and English phrases, which I hung around her neck. Her bushy, black took the liberty of translating into En- hair was gathered into a slightly unkempt rocking perfectly-cut glish. All quotes are verified and ap- low ponytail. Her bright eyes peered shy- hair (dyed a subtle proved by the interviewees. ly through bangs that awkwardly cupped her round face. shade of brown) and a PART I: SUICIDE At Swarthmore College, about three hundred miles away and approximately sporty-sophisticated, I remember one day I was really, re- one year before this conversation with ally, really, really sad and I called Pan-Pan, Evan, then 18, had arrived at black-and-white “my mom—but that day I truly real- his dream school’s orientation rocking ized that my parents will never under- perfectly-cut hair (dyed a subtle shade ensemble. stand because there weren’t a lot of these of brown) and a sporty-sophisticated, Both Pan-Pan and Evan belong to the things happening in China—or rather black-and-white ensemble. Excited and newer generation of Chinese interna- people there wouldn’t talk about it. My exciting, he teased his listeners with sto- tional students who started their study in mom probably had never—I was proba- ries about clubbing—still considered America as early as high school. Chinese bly the first person who really opened up somewhat scandalous in China. In the international students have long been re- about—who just straight up said, ‘mom, throng of Chinese international stu- ported to experience symptoms of mental I feel really depressed.’ I would just tell dents surrounding him, Evan stood out illness without seeking any professional her I had serious OCD. She didn’t know with his height and the infectious way he help. According to “Report of a Mental how to deal with this, so every time she laughs—his whole upper body snaps for- Health Survey Among Chinese Inter- would just keep assuring me that ‘every- ward, almost violently, as if laughter is a national Students at Yale University,” a thing is fine’ or ‘it will get better’ or ‘just heavy thing he’s casting into the ground. frequently referenced study published try to relax.’ But then I realized that ev- What Evan’s fellow students didn’t in 2013, 45 percent of the 130 partici- erything just sounded so easy from her know was that one month ago in his pating undergraduate and graduate stu- mouth. So I was—so at one point—it hometown Nanjing, Evan received a dents reported symptoms of depression, was an afternoon, I was crying and then I message during a family dinner inform- while 29 percent reported symptoms of thought of,” Pan-Pan (盼盼) took a deep ing him that his close friend committed anxiety (Xuesong Han et al.). Yet 27 per- breath, “killing myself.” suicide. Days before arriving at school, cent of the students were not aware that Pan-Pan, 16, is currently a junior at a Evan had gone through the biggest fight on-campus mental health counseling Californian high school. At the time of of his life with his parents. Evan made services existed, and only four percent this conversation, she was perching on sure that he appeared like nothing hap- of all participating students had utilized the small, window-side stool at a tea- pened at all. He didn’t break during din- them.