221 THE BUDDHIST WAY OF LIVING FOR THE SUSTAINABILITY: HARMONIOUS SRI LANKAN FAMILY AND MODERN CHALLENGES Ramesha Jayaneththi* ABSTRACT A family could be understanding as a primary unit to develop interpersonal relationships and more widely ensuring the social unity in many Asian societies. According to Murray Bowen, families so profoundly affect their members’ thoughts, feelings, and actions that it often seems as if people are living under the same emotional skin. Family members naturally solicit each other’s attention, approval and support and react to each other’s needs, expectations, and upsets. Therefore, to develop sustainability in a society, the family unit should be strong and harmonistic to bear its members’ achievements and failures. In this research, there will be an in-depth analysis of the Sri Lankan family unit and will conceptualize it in the Theravada Buddhist discourse. It will also open an interesting dialogue between the Buddhist teachings and the traditional concepts of Sri Lankan family to understand the modern challenges towards its socio-psychological structure. When considering the discourse of Buddhism, its teachings show a complex and multifaceted relationship with the family, family life, and familial discourses. Therefore, many Buddhist texts highlighted a strong renunciatory and the relationships are portrayed as a * Lecturer, Department of History University of Peradeniya, Sri Lanka PhD. Student of Ruhr University of Bochum, Germany 222 BUDDHIST APPROACH TO HARMONIOUS FAMILIES, HEALTHCARE, AND SUSTAINABLE SOCIETIES primary source of attachment, delusion, and suffering. However, when considering the Buddhist lay community that is organized on a familial basis, in practice, Buddhism accommodates and supports the family in multiple and diverse ways. Even the Buddhist Saṅgha itself has frequently chosen the language of “family” to describe the strong bond between the members of the community. It is obvious that the doctrine of the Buddha is meant not only for mendicant monks but also for ordinary men and women living in their homes with their family members. According to Sīgālovāda Sutta, the Buddha has advised to “worship” or to respect the six directions in fulfilling one’s duties as a good householder. In this six directions, the Buddha has considered parents as the east, teachers as the south, wife and children as the west, friends and companions as the north, servants and employees as the nadir, and religious leaders as the zenith. According to Dhammika sutta of Sutta nipātha, the Buddha has advised him that a layman should keep five precepts, and he should live a life of chastity in peace with his family. The Buddha also advises every husband and wife to live as an angelic couple, which will invite peace and success here and hereafter. In Sri Lanka, with the great heritage of the Theravada Buddhist culture, Buddhism and the concept of the family unit maintain a strong relationship. Sri Lankan Buddhist monks advise on the conduct of familial life and promote rituals and practices supportive of fertility, procreation, and the productivity and success of the family. They also indirectly involve in some familial matters to ensure the harmony between family members. Therefore, some specific values and morals were developed in the Sri Lankan Buddhist family. Respecting parents and looking after them when they are sick or old or in need of support are some unconditional values in Sri Lanka. Children are well raised with these qualities in an average family life and funeral rituals including arms giving ceremonies should also have completed by Children. Supporting the marital partner and children supplying all their needs is another important aspect of the Sri Lankan family discourse. Children’s psychological improvements and their behaviours are very important in the Sri Lankan family unit which is considered as the duties of both parents. In the twenty-first century, with the globalization, modernization THE BUDDHIST WAY OF LIVING FOR THE SUSTAINABILITY: HARMONIOUS SRI LANKAN 223 and the social mobilization, parents’ life became more scheduled in Sri Lanka and that is directly affecting the well-balanced family structure. Thus, Sri Lankan people are reconsidering these family values based on Buddhism. To develop these values, in schools, in media and even in some public places, there are some collective programs for the young generations. A family could be understanding as a primary unit to develop interpersonal relationships and more widely ensuring the social unity in many Asian societies. According to Murray Bowen, families so profoundly affect their members’ thoughts, feelings, and actions that it often seems as if people are living under the same emotional skin. Family members naturally solicit each other’s attention, approval, and support and react to each other’s needs, expectations, and upsets (Kerr 2000). Therefore, to develop sustainability in a society, the family unit should be strong and harmonistic to bear its members’ achievements and failures. In some theories of family, developmental processes are inevitably important in understanding this unit. According to the development theory of the family, families, and individuals can change over a period of time. They progress through a series of similar developmental stages and face similar transitional points and developmental tasks. Developmental tasks which are the growth responsibilities arise at certain stages in the life of the family. To be a successful, family, members need to adapt to the changing needs and demands and to attend to tasks that are necessary to ensure family survival (Hammond & Cheney 2018, pp. 8-9). For this survival, emotional support within and outside the family is an essential fact. It will be helpful to prevent personal and family risks factors like alcohol and substance use, child abuses, risks of children’s psychology and mental disorders like bipolar as well as domestic violence and child neglect. Since most of the abusive parents had a miserable past with their own parents, these kinds of risk factors could be transmitted from their own memories of violence. Therefore, in some cases, there should be specific ways to deal with children’s issues and behaviors especially when they are raised in an abusive environment (Chibucos et al. 2005, p.7). It is obvious that family ties are thus capable of performing a great 224 BUDDHIST APPROACH TO HARMONIOUS FAMILIES, HEALTHCARE, AND SUSTAINABLE SOCIETIES deal of social labour (Wilson 2013). With the development process of childhood, children should be trained as a productive worker related to the modern education system. It became an essential aspect of the modern capitalist companies which was affected by the Globalization process. In this modern workplace, the knowledge and skills are not the only measurements to weight the capability of a worker. But also, their mental stability, cooperative behaviors like teamwork, respect for the workplace norms, perform in challenging tasks, commitment and loyalty will be measured in the workplace environment (Sanders 2009). If an adult worker failed of achieving these goals and performing poorly in his workplace, that should be examined not only with their personality issues but also with the way they were raised in their family. Therefore, it is obvious that raising a child in a good and healthy family environment can affect the child as an individual and the society as a developmental unit. This is an essential fact to develop sustainability. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is one of the common disorders can occur among children when the family ties are not strong. That disorder interferes with functioning or development of a child’s brain with hyperactivity especially disturbing his educational activities. This situation can be continued even through adolescence and adulthood (Forgan 2012, pp. 2-6). Bad parenting and child neglect could be some common reasons behind this disorder with the exception to common genetic occurring. From the teenage period, many people victimized common mental disorders like stress, anxiety, depression and bipolar. Most of the patients show some miseries in their childhood memories which could improve with stressful environmental facts in later years. Family members have responsibilities of giving attention and loving kindness to children from the early childhood stages. Except that some aggressive behaviour of children could be a result of domestic violence which can continue into their adult life. Since a stressful family can affect its future generations too, there is a strong need for sorting out familial matters within the family circle to build a sustainable society. Though there are several psychological and sociological methods in the modern western academia to propose solutions for developing a harmonious family, in THE BUDDHIST WAY OF LIVING FOR THE SUSTAINABILITY: HARMONIOUS SRI LANKAN 225 this research, there is an attempt to introduce the Buddhist concepts which can be used to develop the peace and harmony in the family. To examine these Buddhist concepts, will use some suttas in the Theravada Buddhist discourse. Also, to understand the practical use of these concepts will focus on the Sri Lankan Buddhist family unit. It will open an interesting dialogue between the Buddhist teachings and the traditional concepts of Sri Lankan family to understand the modern challenges towards its socio-psychological structure. When considering the discourse of Buddhism, its