Running head: THE EXPERIENCES OF ORTHODOX JEWISH LESBIANS “I DON’T FEAR GOD. I FEAR GOD’S PEOPLE”: HOW TEN ORTHODOX JEWISH LESBIAN WOMEN EXPERIENCE THE ORTHODOX JEWISH COMMUNITY A DISSERTATION SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF THE GRADUATE SCHOOL OF APPLIED AND PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOLOGY OF RUTGERS, THE STATE UNIVERSITY OF NEW JERSEY BY SHELBY E. WELTZ IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY NEW BRUNSWICK, NEW JERSEY AUGUST 2018 APPROVED: ___________________________ Monica Indart, Psy.D. ___________________________ Brook Hersey, Psy.D. DEAN: ___________________________ Francine P. Conway, Ph.D. ORTHODOX JEWISH LESBIAN WOMEN Copyright 2018 by Shelby E. Weltz ORTHODOX JEWISH LESBIAN WOMEN ii ABSTRACT Informed by the critical ideology of feminist theory and psychology, this qualitative study provides an in-depth exploration into the experiences of Orthodox Jewish lesbian women. Aiming to redress the lack of literature on Orthodox Jewish lesbians, this investigation endeavors to understand how this collective navigates tight-knit communities while living at the intersection of identities assumed to be conflicting. Ten cisgendered Orthodox Jewish lesbians, ages 21 to 46, participated in phenomenologically oriented semi-structured interviews that offered women the platform to discuss various facets of gender, sexual orientation, religion, family, community, and identity. Through a grounded theory analysis of the data, three major thematic areas emerged: Orthodox Jewish lesbians experience multiple barriers; Orthodox Jewish lesbians rely on numerous coping strategies and systems to help manage these barriers; and Orthodox Jewish lesbians hope for communal change and improvement. Findings suggest that community, serving simultaneously as a source of both stress and resilience, is a powerful force in the lives of Orthodox Jewish lesbians. Driven by the data, the discussion features directions for future research as well as specific recommendations for clinical and community wide interventions that have broader implications for those working with religious sexual minorities. ORTHODOX JEWISH LESBIAN WOMEN iii DEDICATION I would like to dedicate this work to Uri Naftali, my Great Uncle Irving Schachter, who taught me by example what it means to fight passionately for social justice, no matter the social cost. I would also like to dedicate this work to the women who participated in this study. This project would not have been possible without their brave involvement. Their honesty, openness, and vulnerability inspired me to see this project as more than a graduate requirement, but a mission of sorts. Finally, and most importantly, I would like to dedicate this work to the beautiful children of participants Devorah, Batya, Miriam, and Sarah. You, the next generation, are living proof that love prevails. ORTHODOX JEWISH LESBIAN WOMEN iv ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This dissertation would not have been possible without the guidance, input, and encouragement of many people. I feel truly indebted to each one of you for helping me complete one of the most emotionally meaningful and satisfying projects of my doctoral career. First and foremost, I want to thank my family for their endless love and support. Mom, you have always been my cheerleader, empowering me to take on any task, no matter how challenging. By expressing nothing but faith in my capabilities, you helped me develop faith in myself. I have witnessed your excitement for this project blossom over time; an observation that helped motivate me when I was at my most overwhelmed. Dad, you have always put my dreams first and supported my professional endeavors. Thank you to my GSAPP family. First, to Sylvia Krieger: For the past five years, you have surpassed your position as Senior Administrator by voluntarily assuming the role of a nurturing and protective mother. Knowing that you were there to guide me from the minute I started GSAPP has provided more comfort than words can capture. To Julie Skorny: thank you for the support, laughter, nail polish recommendations, and chocolate. GSAPP is incredibly lucky to have you. To my committee members, Drs. Monica Indart and Brook Hersey: Thank you for joining me on this research journey. Monica, in you I have found more than a dissertation chair, academic advisor, professor, and supervisor: I have found a lifelong mentor. Thank you for taking a chance on me as your advisee and for believing in me before I gave you reason to. Brook, you were the first professor who opened my eyes to the multiple motivations and determinants that go into the complex task of identity construction. In addition to being an inspiring educator and gifted editor, ORTHODOX JEWISH LESBIAN WOMEN v you have been an incredibly supportive and grounding presence for me over the last five years. Thank you for always making yourself accessible and for modeling what it means to provide firm, yet gentle, feedback. This project would have never gotten off the ground without the help of Dr. Michael Greenberg. Your willingness to be my pilot-study “guinea pig” helped me gain a sense of this study’s potential, and your success in helping me recruit participants helped me see that potential through. Your mentorship over the last few years has touched me tremendously. I also want to thank Dr. Jeremy Novich, whose study “The Experiences of Gay Jewish Men in the Orthodox Community: Social Justice, Oppression, and Winnicott” helped frame the foundation of this project. Brainstorming study design and instrumentation with you during the early stages of this research was incredibly valuable. Finally, a very special thanks to my friends whose encouragement and patience have helped me persevere during this challenging time. Khadija Mohamed, your commitment to “checking in” during our weekly Sunday study sessions is largely what kept me focused and on-task. More than admiring your attention span and work ethic, I value the friend and person that you are. To Marisol Valencia-Payne, your skills with Microsoft Word got me through formatting much like your friendship and sense of humor have gotten me through internship. To Dr. Melissa Frankford, thank you for your kindness, generosity, and mentorship. Your exceptional editing skills helped get me through some of the most challenging hurdles of graduate school. To the friends whose social engagements I neglected due to doctoral demands, thank you for never tiring of my saying, “I promise I’ll get my life back soon,” and for supporting my dreams in the process. ORTHODOX JEWISH LESBIAN WOMEN vi TABLE OF CONTENTS ABSTRACT ........................................................................................................................ ii DEDICATION ................................................................................................................... iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ............................................................................................... iv Chapter I: Introduction and Background ............................................................................ 1 Statement of the Problem ............................................................................................. 1 Theoretical Approach .................................................................................................. 4 Chapter II: Review of the Literature ................................................................................... 7 Orthodox Judaism in Context ...................................................................................... 9 Contemporary Rabbinic and Communal Perspectives on Homosexuality ................ 14 The Gay Orthodox Jewish Experience: A Review of the Research .......................... 26 Implications for the Present Study ............................................................................. 37 Chapter III: Methods ......................................................................................................... 40 Grounded Theory ....................................................................................................... 41 Participants ................................................................................................................ 42 Selection Criteria ................................................................................................ 42 Recruitment ........................................................................................................ 42 Measures ............................................................................................................. 43 Demographics questionnaire ....................................................................... 43 Semi-structured interview ........................................................................... 43 Procedures .................................................................................................................. 44 Treatment of Data. .............................................................................................. 44 Data Analysis ............................................................................................................. 45 ORTHODOX JEWISH LESBIAN WOMEN vii The Primary Researcher’s Background, Experiences, and Biases ............................ 46 Chapter IV: Results ........................................................................................................... 49 Demographics ...........................................................................................................