Orchard Leigh · Rodborough Hill · Stroud · Gloucestershire · England · GL5 3SS T: +44 (0)1453 765 956 · F: +44 (0)1453 765 953 · E: [email protected] www.alternative-training.com Proving: Anti Matter (Positronium) Date: October 1998 By Misha Norland & The School of Homeopathy. A Remedy prepared from the Annihilation Radiation of Positronium, an atomic structure consisting of an electron and a positron. Acknowledgments Thanks to all who participated in the Proving and to all who were affected by it. Introduction By Misha Norland In the autumn of 1997, while facilitating a clinical workshop in San Diego for North American students of the School of Homœopathy, I was approached by Chris Kurtz, then on our distance learning programme and just completing his PhD at the University of San Diego, offering to bring me a vial containing anti-matter. "You cannot be serious!" I exclaimed. "Quite serious." he retorted, proceeding to edify me. Naturally, I said, "Yes." In February 1998 we initiated a formal proving of positronium at the School of Homœopathy. The stuff with which our proving was conducted was made by Chris Kurz, as I have written, in the summer of 1997. Ethanol in a vial was exposed to the radiation of decaying positronium - approximately 1,000,000,000 annihilation events being captured over a 24 hour period. This was run up to the thirtieth centesimal at Helios Homœopathic Pharmacy. This was the proving potency. A brief account of electrons, positrons (anti-electrons) and positronium follows this introduction and some account of Paul Dirac, the Nobel prize winning scientist who first postulated the mathematics of anti-matter, is given in an appendix. About positronium: it is formed of a positron (anti-electron) and an electron in mutual orbit; it is structured in a similar way to hydrogen, however it has almost no mass. It has been suggested that at the beginning of time the universe was largely, though momentarily composed of positrons and electrons, of positronium. It is the precursor of the hydrogen atom. Naturally, this atomic configuration is only semi-stable. In the first micro-seconds of the universe, as now, its components, electron and anti-electron annihilate each other when they get too close, when the molecule collapses. This annihilation results in a 'flash' of electromagnetic radiation. Since positronium is made up of both particle and anti-particle, it assumes a position mid way between matter and anti-matter. When it decays, it is converted into a pulse of pure energy. This threefold state has been picked up by a number of provers for whom the number 3 was prevalent in dreams and waking experiences. It also provides a convenient way to arrange and "map" the symptoms and themes of the proving, as we shall see later. Positronium is readily produced in small quantities by the decay of the radioactive isotope Sodium 22. It is used in the most exacting imaging technology by the medical profession. This aspect was sensed and reproduced by many provers also, whose detailed appreciation of internal structures was unusually marked. It has been postulated that in the big bang at the beginning of time, matter and anti-matter coemerged, each having opposite charge, opposite spin and moving in contrary motion, the one from time past to future, the other from time future to time past. It is therefore also postulated that somewhere there may be a parallel universe identical to our own but composed of a preponderance of anti-matter in which events occur in anti-time. Were we to meet with this anti-universe, then we would annihilate each other in one mighty flash! These aspects came out in many provers, but none as strongly as for the pharmacist at Helios who ran our positronium up to the thirtieth centicimal potency without knowing what it was. I had marked the vial from Kris Kurtz, "Misha's mystery!" She wrote about her experiences: The Hunter: being hunted. Explosive, Running Scared. Being pursued. Fear and fascination by death. Final acceptance of being slaughtered or killed, like a rabbit or a lamb, something innocent. Sacrifice. Fear, anticipation in pit of stomach. Foreboding. Heart pathology; breathlessness from irregular, inefficient, or weak heart beat. Lingering disease. People with repeated strokes or heart attacks, whose life force is withdrawing and they are waiting for the next attack. Feel like my hands are being tied up and bound, as if I have been kidnapped and am about to go through an ordeal. Weakness, trembling of the hands, loss of power. As if I am in a situation where a member of my family has been brutally killed or dismembered. Shock that another human being could do such a thing. As if I found someone brutally murdered, particularly someone I knew. Sinking feeling; downward pressure on the head, particularly pressure going down the back of my neck; base of skull; downward pressure. Collapse; could pass out. Facing my worst fear; being trapped, as in a basement or cell, with a man who is going to torture and kill me slowly with great malicious delight. Cannot escape it, no way out. This is it. (This is a deep unconscious fear that has come up for me in the past. It manifests for me only when a man wants to commit to me in relationship. Therefore I have "escaped" so far since I have chosen not to commit to anyone yet, but it puts me in that irrational fear state that I will die and not be able to escape.) Images that remind me of the Wests' cruelty and murder; of the dismemberment and killing of that young girl in London. Very difficult moving my limbs; feel greatly restricted, powerless. Self mutilation; slow fascination with watching a knife cut through my skin, or an artery, watching the blood; watching myself bleed to death. The heaviness of all this just beginning to lift. Feel severely shocked and sickened by it. Also of interest is the fact that within half a year of these proving experiences (having subsequently lost her fear of commitment) she married. So surprised was she at the changes wrought in her being, which she attributed to the depth and intensity of the dynamization process/proving experience, that she begged to be told the name of the proving material, which by then we had proved. You have only to imagine the dawning of comprehension as the significance of anti-matter and matter in conjunction, struck her! But I am getting ahead of myself. Formal proving began amongst third year homœopathy students in March 1998. In May we video recorded the group at the School as they reviewed their proving diaries of the past two months. As we have come to expect, provers who had not taken the pill were also affected. Many of the recounted experiences were heavy. First thing next morning, before anyone had arrived, I played back the recording, finding that as the tape progressed the images began to break up. As a latter prover delved into her sensations of contraction, as if squeezed into impossible denseness accompanied by a sense of having touched pure evil, the video tape image blanked out entirely. Her disembodied voice, however, continued to describe her descent into this darkest of places. I stopped the tape, running forwards, to find that the end, the last provers accounts were technically fine: perfectly clear images. I put in another tape: no problem. I put back the proving tape and rewound it to the position of the blanked out prover: sound without vision. I marvelled at the phenomenon of the intense psychic field which the recounting of the proving had generated interfering with the electronics or the tape in the camcorder. When we had assembled for our morning teaching session the following day, we 'ran over' the physics of Positronium, from big bang to anti-matter and matter, connecting the signature to the proving: the basic split which had so clearly emerged, the 'light' side of spiritual confluence with beauty and goodness which some had felt, or experienced as detachment from the gross physical aspects of the sensuous, and the 'dark' side which the 'blanked' prover had so vividly experienced. Then I explained about the video tape, the closing down ritual which we had initiated the day before and were concluding today. And guess what: the video tape image, while still breaking up somewhat, had begun to heal itself, the image had re-emerged! Of course, there is a perfectly materialistic explanation for this phenomenon, namely progressive contamination followed by decontamination of the video head after repeated playings. However, the fact that this had been the first time that the head of this camcorder had clogged up and the fact that it now plays tapes perfectly, tends to mitigate against this explanation. Be that as it may, there must be a material component in order that the phenomenon occur! In any culture other than our own it would be felt and understood as natural that water, wind, stones, and leaves all 'speak' to us, as do birds and beasts, making our experience of the sensuous world about us that of a living, sacred organism without a split. I, in common with a number of provers, was effected firstly in a positive way, I felt connected to spirit, but after a few weeks I descended into a deeply despairing state, feeling the suffering of humans and the Earth. This was not a new state of awareness, far from it, however it was uncomfortably intense. It has not reoccurred since the proving. As the intensity was marked, so has been the subsequent absence of eco-despair: the curative action.