B’nai Aviv The Conservative Synagogue of Southwest Broward Bar/Bat Mitzvah Parents’ Handbook A publication of: The B’nai Aviv Ritual Committee 1410 Indian Trace Weston, Florida mitzvah.bnaiaviv.org August 2019 Edition PLEASE NOTE: THIS HANDBOOK IS DESIGNED TO BE PRINTED DOUBLE-SIDED. PLEASE HELP PROTECT OUR ENVIRONMENT. Table of Contents INTRODUCTION AND OVERVIEW ............................................................................................................................ 1 WHAT IS A BAR MITZVAH OR BAT MITZVAH?................................................................................................................. 1 THE DATE SELECTION PROCESS .................................................................................................................................... 1 HAVDALAH OPTION ..................................................................................................................................................... 2 OTHER DAY-OF-THE-WEEK OPTIONS ............................................................................................................................ 2 BAR/BAT MITZVAH IN ISRAEL ...................................................................................................................................... 3 ASSISTING AND SUPPORTING YOUR CHILD DURING THE TRAINING PERIOD ........................................................................ 3 SPECIAL FAMILY CIRCUMSTANCES ................................................................................................................................. 3 INTERFAITH FAMILIES .................................................................................................................................................. 4 CHILDREN WITH LEARNING CHALLENGES AND OTHER SPECIAL NEEDS ............................................................................. 4 CONCURRENT ADULT EDUCATION OPPORTUNITIES ......................................................................................................... 4 BAR/BAT MITZVAH REQUIREMENTS ..................................................................................................................... 5 FAMILY MEMBERSHIP AND FINANCIAL STANDING ........................................................................................................... 5 RELIGIOUS SCHOOL ATTENDANCE ................................................................................................................................. 5 FIFTH GRADE HEBREW READING PROFICIENCY EVALUATION .......................................................................................... 5 SYNAGOGUE SERVICES .................................................................................................................................................. 5 Attendance Requirements ................................................................................................................................... 5 Recording Attendance ......................................................................................................................................... 6 THE LEARNING PROCESS .......................................................................................................................................... 8 OVERVIEW .................................................................................................................................................................. 8 PARENTS’ CLASSES....................................................................................................................................................... 8 INDIVIDUAL TUTORIAL INSTRUCTION ............................................................................................................................ 9 FINAL LESSONS AND MEETINGS .................................................................................................................................. 10 PLANNING THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH SERVICE .................................................................................................... 11 THE STUDENT’S ROLE DURING SERVICES, AND SKILLS ACHIEVED ................................................................................... 11 THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH WEEK SCHEDULE .................................................................................................................. 11 Thursday Morning Minyan................................................................................................................................ 11 Friday Evening Service ...................................................................................................................................... 11 Shabbat Morning Service .................................................................................................................................. 12 Shabbat Afternoon (Havdalah) Service ............................................................................................................ 12 INVITATIONS TO THE RELIGIOUS SCHOOL CLASS ........................................................................................................... 12 OWNING A KIPPAH, TALLIT AND TEFILLIN ................................................................................................................... 12 THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH SPEECH (D’VAR TORAH) ....................................................................................................... 13 CHILD’S BIOGRAPHY FOR THE MONTHLY NEWSLETTER ................................................................................................. 13 PROVIDING A SERVICE PROGRAM................................................................................................................................. 14 PROVIDING KIPPOT .................................................................................................................................................... 14 HONORS AND SERVICE PARTICIPATION ............................................................................................................. 15 OVERVIEW ................................................................................................................................................................ 15 ASSIGNMENT OF HONORS ........................................................................................................................................... 15 INTERFAITH/NON-JEWISH PARTICIPATION IN THE SERVICE .......................................................................................... 16 DETAILS OF HONORS AND SERVICE PARTICIPATION ...................................................................................................... 16 Ark Openings ..................................................................................................................................................... 16 Aliyot .................................................................................................................................................................. 16 Assigning Torah Readings to Friends and Family ............................................................................................ 17 Learning to Chant Your Torah Portion ............................................................................................................ 18 The Parents' Prayer ........................................................................................................................................... 19 Hagbah and Gelilah ........................................................................................................................................... 19 Holding the Torah ............................................................................................................................................. 20 Prayer for Our Country, and Prayer for Israel .................................................................................................. 20 The Prayer of Thanksgiving (Shehecheyanu) ................................................................................................... 20 Ein Keloheinu ..................................................................................................................................................... 20 SUBMITTING YOUR HONORS LIST ................................................................................................................................ 21 THE MITZVAH PROJECT .......................................................................................................................................... 22 PLANNING THE CELEBRATION PARTY ................................................................................................................. 23 THE NATURE OF YOUR CELEBRATION .......................................................................................................................... 23 INVITING THE CLERGY ................................................................................................................................................ 23 LUNCHEON TRANSPORTATION ON SHABBAT ................................................................................................................. 23 THE WEEK OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH CEREMONY ......................................................................................... 24 THURSDAY MORNING MINYAN .................................................................................................................................... 24 PHOTOGRAPHY SESSION / DRESS REHEARSAL .............................................................................................................