FEBRUARY – 2020 1. How happy we are! I assure you dear Mother, God gives special graces to the devoted sisters and missionaries, He has called to these distant missions. We sense his holy Presence and interior peace and joy that in a wonderful way dispels every fear. Our sisters here are holy…We are all united in the bonds of perfect charity… How happy our little community is since all of us have the happiness of receiving Holy Communion every day. 2. If you only knew the heat of India is like! We are obliged to bathe daily in cold water. We are drenched with incessant perspiration…there are terrible storms, and sometimes frightful thunder and lightning. … we will have incessant and constant rain for four months. Well, that is the climate we have! But we also have blessings which we do not have in all our houses – Primarily, the good God, and now, benediction thrice a week… we are still poor except that it has the Treasure of Treasures and that is the main thing. 3. If India is torture for some, I tell you that for me I find it a Paradise – I shall willingly live and die here. Our Lord is so near; one feels that he needs so to say, persons to work for Him to win souls. The zeal of Prophet Elijah and that of missionaries like St. Francis Xavier fills me with ardent desire to cease the opportunity to bring people to the Lord and to save souls. 4. If you knew what a feast for us on the days when we have the Blessed Sacrament exposed the whole day in our dear little chapel! It seems to be paradise …It is so conducive to devotion and recollection and our sisters are so inflamed with love of this Eucharistic Lord. The Eucharistic Presence of the Lord is so real, it is our greatest treasure, comfort and strength. Cherish it; you will find in Him all your needs and desires met. 5. I have always been happy and content from the time I became a religious,… but now my joy has exceeded that. How well Our Lord knows how to fulfill his promises to repay a hundredfold, even in this life, the smallest sacrifices made for him. People rightly long for happiness and fulfillment in life. It springs from our inner self that is attuned to God’s voice and a life that is in tune with His plan. 6. The good God works gently but surely, and His Holy Will is accomplished in his time. God wills that we do not put any obstacles in the way of His Divine Will, in order that his divine and holy blessings be showered abundantly on our dear Mission. It is proper to remember, that we are God’s creatures and He has a purpose to fulfill through us. Therefore, it is necessary, that we discern and do what He wants of us, which is the secret of our happiness and success. 7. I am so happy and content right here in India, that I like to remain here always…It is very strange, …even though I am certainly not always on a bed of roses, rather quite the contrary, still it is better to lie on thorns than on roses. Do we not often think that happiness comes when all things are pleasant and according to our pleasure? In fact, the Source of happiness lies within; hence, no one, and nothing can destroy our happiness. 8. The here-below is not our true dwelling place – we see it, we feel it. How long shall the struggle, against self and against the spirit of darkness which assails us on all sides, continue? What happiness when ….having completed the work given to us, the soul, freed and purified, will escape from this prison … Then there will be no more sufferings, no more work; we shall arrive at our destiny. 9. Our Lord seeing my great misery and weakness, deigned to sweeten my cross, …. While bearing my cross, I hold it, clinging to it so that I may not fail to serve and follow Jesus to Calvary, faithfully and lovingly. The disciple of Jesus has to daily and lovingly carry the cross offered by Her Master. But the cross is made sweeter and the burden lighter, for He Himself accompanies the disciple all through the way. 10.I am …perfectly happy and satisfied with all the decision that superiors consider to be prudent and proper. God directs their counsels and in perfect calm we will wait for the outcome as long as it pleases the Divine majesty to try us. It is only lack of faith that makes us anxious and impatient when the trail is prolonged, for we do not reflect that this is a favoured time, when we can gather an immense treasure that will endure through an eternity of happiness. 11.If Our Lord had even once made the soul understand the priceless value of the Cross and suffering, it would never forgo even a single one for anything in this world. It is a known fact, that suffering and pain are repulsive to human nature. In spite of knowing that Jesus our Master has Himself trod that path to save us, in the face of it, we try to run away or react, making our own life miserable. 12.Our Lord has named me Veronica. He has begun to chisel the rough block; must I restrain his hand? Pray that He deign to strengthen my weakness … that I may become in truth …, Veronica of the Passion. This is my only desire, the goal of my life. Why not today, give a thought to the name you bear/ given to you in Baptism. God’s Providence chose it for you. What does it signify? Live it to the full to give glory to your maker! 13.God permits everything to try us and, with the grace of God, I would certainly not like to refuse any cross which he sends me, nor justify myself when falsely accused. Sufferings, crosses and persecutions are too precious to forgo, when one knows their true value. Bitter to nature, but essential for our growth in Christ. 14.It is true… that I find myself without any support and without any human consolation in a foreign land. Naturally sometimes, lassitude sets in, as one does not know which side to turn for spiritual or temporal help. The thought of the Holy Passion of our Saviour and His agony in the Garden, where He suffered all manner of dereliction, much more than we can imagine, is a source of courage to rise up and continue the struggle. 15.My Lord and my spouse has chosen all his elect without exception, this way of humiliations, ….crosses; how then can I think of a different way, .. a soul so specially privileged, and chosen from the midst of darkness to be his own? Pray for me…that my courage may not fail me and, having undertaken the road of Calvary with my Lord, I might follow him to the summit and die there, crucified with him. 16.The first time that the seed of vocation was implanted and which now has taken deep root in my soul, was not at all a time of tribulation and desolation It was at a time when I was overwhelmed with heavenly graces and blessings. …violent attacks were never wanting but then I kept close to a spiritual guide, who discerned the will of God for me…I am not afraid of anything, for obedience is the only infallible guide. 17.The thought of Carmel persisted, … I always hoped to live and die in our humble congregation of St. Joseph…I was left as usual, without the slightest dissatisfaction with my present state but with my heart bent on Carmel. A call within a call! A second time I am called to give up my loved ‘family’ to be part of Carmel. A humble submission to what He alone wants, will give me peace and joy. 18. Meanwhile, I spent my days in extreme distress, both exterior and interior, but the little plant was taking stronger and deeper roots, and without my being able to account for it, I felt urged gently but firmly on. God has a way of doing things. He wants what He wants, and He has a right to claim it from His own. When His will is crystal clear, a loyal soul is bound to carry it out whatever may the cost be. Peace is the reward. 19.There were times I felt that I ought to submit to the decision of our revered superior, Mgr. Bernardino, but now that you have given me the obedience, I shall go without faltering to Cochin, since it is the will of God. My dear Sisters, If it is the will of God, that I should be elsewhere, this good and dear Mother will repeat the “ fiat”, as she has always done the Holy Will of God. 20.My heart and my affection are always in Malabar and I suffer much more now, …I have explained clearly my sentiments regarding Carmel, where I feel even more urged to go...Our Archbishop, has indeed encouraged me in this my vocation. We are often inclined to go by what brings us satisfaction, pleasure and a sense of achievement in our ministry. But what should motivate us to continue or give up, is not our pleasure, but His. So be it.