LAWS OF THE THREE WEEKS, NINE DAYS AND TISHA B’AV Rabbi Joseph Friedman, DAT Minyan There are four distinct periods during this time of national mourning: The Three Weeks (beginning from the 17th of Tammuz, which was July 24), the Nine days (which begins on Thursday night, August), the Week of Tisha B’Av (“Shavua SheChal Bo”), and Tisha B’Av (which has three periods: Erev Tisha B’Av, Tisha B’Av before midday, and after midday). 1. THE THREE WEEKS (applies to Ashkenazic Jews only): • There is a generally accepted custom that both men and women refrain from both haircuts and shaving during the Three Weeks. ♦ It is important to note that Rav Soloveitchik believed that the period of the Three Weeks mirrors the period of twelve months of mourning one observes after the death of a parent. He held (See Nefesh HaRav) that just as it the practice of most people – following Shloshim - to shave regularly during the twelve-month period (after initially allowing a few days of growth), one may do the same during the Three Weeks. ♦ It is equally important to note this is not the approach of the majority of Poskim, who maintain the prohibition of both shaving and haircuts applies. However, even those Poskim agree a person may shave if this will cause him a financial loss or create difficulty in his business. However, if it would suffice for him to shave even once or twice a week, he should do so as opposed to shaving every day. • A married woman, or one of marriageable age (e.g. a girl dating), may shave her legs even during the Nine Days. • It is an accepted custom to refrain from listening to any music, whether live or recorded during this period. ♦ A professional music teacher may teach music during the Three Weeks, even after Rosh Chodesh Av. Similarly, one may learn music and practice during this period of time even if it’s not for one’s livelihood. ♦ It is permitted to attend an exercise class, even if there is music playing in the background. ♦ Similarly, one may listen to music if the purpose is not the music itself. Examples include: a driver may play music if he is fearful he may fall asleep otherwise. at the wheel; a parent may play music in the home if it will reduce tension with little children. ♦ Acapella music is not included in this prohibition (according to many poskim). • One may not get married during this period. However, one may get engaged – even on Tisha B’Av itself. While one should not have a festive meal celebrating the engagement during the Nine Days, such a meal is permitted during the Three Weeks. • We refrain from reciting the Beracha of “She’hecheyanu.” Therefore, one should not purchase, or wear for the first time, a garment that would require such a brocha (e.g. suits, gowns, etc.). Clothing that does not require a She’hecheyanu (e.g. shoes, socks, shirts, pants, etc.), may be purchased and worn until Rosh Chodesh Av. • A person should not purchase a new home during this period. However, it is permissible to enter into contract – including remitting a down payment on a house or apartment – during this period. • This year, since Tisha B’Av is deferred, cutting one nails is permitted up to and including Erev Shabbat before Tisha B’Av. • General home improvements (as opposed to, say, building an addition) are permitted until Rosh Chodesh Av. In specific cases, please consult Rabbi Friedman. 2. THE NINE DAYS (applies to Ashkenazic Jews only): Beginning with sunset before Rosh Chodesh Av, (Thur evening, August 4th) the Nine-Day period commences. • MEAT & WINE ♦ Except for Shabbat, one may not eat meat or poultry, or consume any food containing meat or poultry. ♦ Food cooked in a clean meat pot may be eaten, even if the pot had been used for meat within the last 24 hours. ♦ Meat and wine are permitted at a Seudat Mitzvah such as at a Brit, Pidyon Haben and a Bar Mitzvah (if it is Bo Bayom, the ACTUAL day of the Bar Mitzvah, not just scheduled on that day). ♦ One who is ill, pregnant or nursing may eat meat if so needed. Chicken would be preferable if it will suffice. ♦ Wine/grape juice may not be consumed during this period except for Shabbat or at a Seudas Mitzvah. ♦ Healthy children over the age of 6 are considered of “Chinch” age regarding the prohibition regarding meat and wine. • BATHING ♦ During the Nine Days one may take a daily shower for purposes of hygiene. While a minority of Poskim allow even a hot shower, one is encouraged to use lukewarm water. ♦ Showering or bathing for pleasure (as opposed to hygiene) is prohibited, even in cold water. Swimming or using a sauna is likewise forbidden. ♦ This year, since Rosh Chodesh Av falls out on Erev Shabbat, one is permitted to shower regularly in hot water on Erev Shabbat (Aug 5th). • LAUNDRY, CLOTHING & CLEANING ♦ It is forbidden to wash or dry-clean clothing and linen during the Nine Days, even if it is done by a non-Jew. Ironing clothing is also prohibited. One may not give garments to a dry cleaner during the Nine Days to be picked up after the Nine Days. However, one may give clothing to the cleaners before Rosh Chodesh, but may only picks them up after Tisha B'Av. ♦ One may not wash a sheitel during the Nine Days. However, one may wear a freshly washed sheitel, and one may blow dry a sheitel. However, one may not cut, dye or add hair, even to an old sheitel. ♦ It is permitted to wash out a stain from a garment, even with water. ♦ Small children's clothing may be washed during the Nine Days. ♦ Wet clothes (e.g. sprinkler or sudden rain shower) may be placed in the dryer. ♦ One may not wear new or freshly laundered clothing or linen during the Nine Days except for underwear or socks. A minority opinion permits wearing freshly laundered shirts, since we change these daily similar to underwear and socks. It is preferable however, to wear all shirts briefly before the Nine Days commence. Suits, blouses, etc. from the dry cleaners must also be worn for a short period of time before the Nine Days. ♦ One MAY wear freshly laundered or cleaned suits for Shabbat even when Tisha B'Av occurs on Shabbat, like this year. Any freshly laundered shirts worn on Shabbat may then be worn during the week. ♦ Purchasing new clothing is forbidden during the Nine Days, even if they will be worn after the Nine Days. This prohibition includes all types of clothing, even those upon which a She’hecheyanu is not recited. ⇒ Sneakers for Tisha B'Av may be bought if one was unable to buy them previously. ♦ It is permissible to purchase clothing, furniture, appliances, etc. during the Nine Days if they are on sale or if you will suffer a substantial loss if you will delay the purchase. ♦ During the Nine Days, one may exchange items purchased before the Nine Days, even though you will receive a new item in return. ♦ It is permissible to sew a tear, or to sew on a button. • MISCELLANEOUS ♦ Any form of home decorating should not be done during the Nine Days, including planting trees or flowers in the garden. It is, however, permissible to water and/or mow the lawn, or prune trees during this period of time. ♦ Children above the age of 6 (age of “Chinuch”) should minimize various pleasurable activities during the Nine Day period (e.g. going to an amusement park). 3. THE WEEK OF TISHA B'AV – “Shavua SheChal Bo” This year, Tisha B'Av falls out on Shabbat, and the fast is “pushed off” to Sunday. The Shulchan Aruch records a dispute whether the laws of Shavua SheChal Bo apply for the entire week prior to Tisha B'av, or do not apply at all. We hold of the opinion there is NO Shavua SheChal Bo. 4. EREV TISHA B'AV (Shabbat) Despite the fact the fast itself is pushed off until Sunday, Shabbat is still actually Tisha B’Av, and consequently the nature of the day is reflected in some ways. • Marital relations are prohibited, unless it is the night of Tevilah. • Leisurely strolls are prohibited. • One should not use a fresh tablecloth on this Shabbat (one may use a fresh tablecloth on Shabbat during the Nine Days, but in this case, Shabbat is actually Tisha B’Av). • Following Mincha, everyone will return home for Seudat Shlishit. This will be the final meal before the fast. The meal may be extravagant; meat, of course, is allowed. ♦ However, guests should not be invited to Seudat Shlishit, unless they will have nowhere else to eat. It is permitted to have a Mezuman for Bentching. • Because Erev Tisha B’Av is on Shabbat, there is no Seuda Ha’Mafseket (the hard-boiled egg and ashes). • One must stop eating prior to sunset (Shkiya), which will be at 7:57pm. • After Shabbat ends (8:41pm), everyone should say the abridged Havdalah (“Baruch HaMavdil Ben Kodesh L’Chol”), change into non-leather shoes, and return to shul for Maariv, Eicha and Kinnot (we will begin Maariv at 9:00pm), as is the custom in Israel. • On Motza'ei Shabbat, Havdala is omitted (it will be said on Sunday night, but without the spices and the flame), yet the Beracha of “Borei M'Orei Ha'Aish” is recited on a flame. This Beracha will be recited in shul prior to the recitation of Eicha.