HMONG MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS: CULTURAL ADJI!STMEN?' AND CONFLICT A Thesis Presented to the Faculty os California State University, Stanislaus In Partial f?ulfillnient Of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Arts in Interdisciplinary Studies, Cultural Antllropology BY Maykou Margaret Vang December 1994 Abstract HMONG MOTHERS AND IIAUGHTERS: CULTURAL ADJUSTMENT AND CONFLICT BY Maykou Margaret Vang Today young Hmong women growing in the United States face a hture that is very different frotn the one for which their mothers were prepared while growing up in the mouiltains of Laos. As these mothers struggle to rear their daughters in the cultural milieu ofthe United States, there is conflict and pain on both sides. The daughters of today live in a complex large-scale society where a communicative and active style is often called for. They are being reared by mothers whose backgrounds were in small-scale, slash and burn agricultural societies; where silence and passivity were paramount in the old tradition. The societal roles of both 1-Tmong mothers and daughters have changed. These changing roles often result in conflict and misunderstanding between mother and daughter. The intensity and frequency of these conflicts are dependent upon the differing rates of adaptation and acculturation to U.S. cultural values and lifestyle. This research seeks to identi@ and discuss significant factors which contribute to conflicts which arise between Hmong tnothers and their teenage daughters living in Merced, California as acculturation takes place in the United States. This study seeks to explore these relationships and iv provide a context for understanding the coilflicts and misuilderstandings which arise as the daughters enter adolescence. Questions were developed to gather iniormation about the infoi-mants' backgrounds, families, mother-daughter relationship, the identification of potential problems, levels of education, and cornparison of life style between the United States and Laos. The Hmong history, traditional culture and the H~nongcultural adaptation to life in the United States form the background of this study. These may provide insights and possible answers to identify coilflicts between mothers and daughters as Hmong women iniegrate into American society. This study focuses on the disagreements between I-Imong mothers and daughters regarding issues associated will1 schooling, extra-curricular activities, dating, and responsibilities in the home. The nature of these conflicts has a direct impact on both the mothers' and daughters' levels of education and sophistication as well as the familiarity with the "new culture," language, and educational system in which they now operate. ICeywol-ds: Hmong, Mother/Daughter, Acculturation, Adaptation, Intergenerational Conflict, Merced, California, United States I owe a great debt of gratitude to many people without whom I wolild never have accomplished this rcsearct~. I want to thank my Nmong mother and daughter ir~fonnants for the many hours that they provided in sharing their experiences and stories. I sincerely want to thank my cornlnittee for their guidance, comments, suggestions, extensive time in editing, reading, and rereading of my work. All of you have been through so much during the last several n~onthsof my thesis and yet, you continued to be there for me. 1especially want to thank you for your patience, encouragement, support, and friendship. I want to thank Dr. Susar~Middleton-Keim for her valuable comments, preciseness, and the superb job she did at keeping me abreast of opportunities which greatly enhanced my personal and academic development; Laura Boyer, who taught me that "Consistency is one sign of a good scholar" in both words and deed; and Dr. Ida Bowers for being the advisor that she has been for me over the years. You have helped me change so many things around me and my outlook of life. No student could ever ask for an advisor who cares as much about her students as you do. Thank you for all the times you have spent listening to me and understanding me. I can never say "Thank You" enough. Together, I thank all three of you for your expertise and knowledge. I'd like to thank Dr. Hensen and his staff at Merced High School North Campus for their assistance; Student Support Services for their moral support and encouragement; Tou Lee Xiong for his artistic contribution; Dr. Ines Miyares for her friendship and interest of the FImong people; Michael Randle for his kindhearted assistance and valuable vi advice, "1'1 tG I'UNCI-I"; and lily friends, Tracy Silveria and Susan Holgate, affectionately known as the "ABT"club for their sense of humor, advice, and support during trying times. I want to thank my two American families, the Nelsons and the Moores, who have given me the opportunity to live, learn, and experience the American dream and way of life; my uncle, Dr. Yang Dao, for his co~nn~entsduring the early stage of my research; my grandmothel-s Mrs. Mino Yang and Xy Lo Moua, cousin Ly Moua, brothers, and sisters (especially, Mayko) for their support; my father-in-law, Nhia Bee Moua, who encourages me as a Hmong daughter-in-law to continue my education; my mother-in-law, Soua Yang Moua for her patience and full supports in carrying for my children--who drove her nuts day aRer day; and my parents, Peter Chou Vang and May Yang Vang, who I can riever thank enough for giving me 2 life, loving me, encouraging me, supporting me, believing in me, and giving me the opportunity to go to school. I thank them for their emotional and financial support, and for their understanding of tny marriage to my husband (thank you mom and dad, it means a lot to me). Finally, I am thankful for my daughter, Shoua Nha, and my son, Mino, who came into my life during my graduate studies. They gave me all the reasons to finish this project and look forward to a happy and productive life. Last but not least, I especially want to thank one very special man in my life, my husband, Chuya Meng Moua, without whom this thesis would have not started or finished. No words can ever express how thankfill I am to have you, but one thing for certain, "Tsis muaj leej twg yav pawv tau koj nyob rau hauv kuv lub neej." TABLE OF CONTENTS Page List of Tables ......................................................................................................... x List of Figures ........................................................................................................ x Chapter 1 Introduction............................................................................................... 1 The Problem .............................................................................................. 7 Statement of the Problem .......................................................... 7 Significance of the Study........................................................... 11 Theoretical Basis ofthe Study................................................... 12 2 Literature Review General Studies on Cultural Adaptation and Conflict ................ 15 Studies of .Hmong in I.,aos......................................................... 28 Research on F-Iinong Acculturation in the United States ............. 30 3 Methodology............................................................................................. 43 Questionnaire............................................................................ 47 Administration of Quesi.ionnaire................................................ 47 Limitations................................................................................49 4 The I-iistory and Culture of the Hmong People Introduction.............................................................................. 51 Migration Patterns of the Hmong People ................................... 51 Traditional Life Style............................................................... 51 Family Structure ........................................................................ 56 Marriage................................................................................... 58 Roles and Responsibilities of Mmong Women ............................ 62 Education.................................................................................. 67 5 Data Analysis Background of Informants ......................................................... 73 Concept of Family ..................................................................... 75 Head of Family .......................................................................... 76 Education.................................................................................. 77 Social Interaction .....................................................................82. Life in the United States ............................................................ 84 Courtship-Dating ...................................................................... 94 Family. Marriage. and Careel-.................................................... 97 Mother-Daughter Relationships................................................. 101 Summary. Conclusion. and Recommendations Summary................................................................................... 117 Conclusion............................................................................... 121 Recommendations ..................................................................... 129 RIBLIOGfWPIIY ..................................................................................................132 A . Books .................................................................................