THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ATTACHMENT STYLES AND REJECTION BEHAVIOR The Relationship between Attachment Styles and Rejection Behavior in Online Partner Selection Van den Broek, M. ANR: 561795 Maser Thesis Social Psychology Program Economic Psychology Tilburg University First supervisor: Dr. Tila Pronk Second supervisor: Prof. Jaap Denissen 16 June 2017 2 THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ATTACHMENT STYLES AND REJECTION BEHAVIOR Abstract The current research has investigated the question: what are the influences of attachment styles (anxious and avoidant) on partner selection in an online dating setting? Across two studies, participants decided to accept or reject potential romantic partners in a Tinder simulation. Attachment styles were measured after the Tinder simulation task with the Revised Adult Attachment Scale. The expectations were that high scores on attachment avoidance would be related to more rejection of potential partners, while high scores on attachment anxiety would be associated with less rejection of potential partners. Study 1 supported these predictions, while Study 2 did not. Both studies have confirmed that high scores on attachment avoidance are related to less relationship seeking as a motive for Tinder use, while high scores on attachment anxiety are related to more relationship seeking. Both studies were inconsistent concerning the relationship between attachment styles and satisfaction with choices in the Tinder simulation task and also regarding expectations of the participants about rejection by others. These differences suggest that there a variety of factors that could eliminate, reduce or increase the relationship between attachment styles and partner selection. 3 THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ATTACHMENT STYLES AND REJECTION BEHAVIOR The Relationship between Attachment Styles and Rejection Behavior in Online Partner Selection The way people form romantic relationships has changed over the years. Before the invention of the internet people got to know each other in real-life situations. Nowadays, many people have experiences with online dating. Between 1998 and 2003, 1.7% of the couples in the Netherlands met online. That number increased to 13.1% between 2008 and 2013 (CBS, 2014). Still, there were 2.9 million singles in the Netherlands in 2015 (Planbureau voor de Leefomgeving, 2016). This raises the question: which factors would predict whether someone enters a relationship or not? Differences in attachment styles may be related to differences in partner selection. The concept of attachment was introduced and developed by John Bowlby. In his attachment theory he suggested that humans are born with a genetic program that causes a young child to attach to an adult, primarily the caregivers (Bowlby, 1973). Attachment styles are developed during childhood, but it affects the adult life in a variety of ways. For example, people experience an attachment process in romantic love and attachment styles influence cognitive beliefs about relationships (Monteoliva, Garcia-Martinez, & Calvo-Salguero, 2016). There is no research that examined whether attachment styles influence the earliest stage of relationship formation online. Therefore, the main research question of this master thesis is: what are the influences of attachment styles (anxious and avoidant) on partner selection in an online dating setting? It is important to answer this question, because it gives knowledge about the process of partner selection. By investigating rejection behavior, this study aims to increase the understanding of selective behavior of people in the process of choosing a partner. 4 THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ATTACHMENT STYLES AND REJECTION BEHAVIOR Tinder as a tool to find a relationship Numerous tools on smartphones are used for dating purposes. Tinder, Badoo, Happn, and Grindr are just a few examples of popular dating apps. This research will use a Tinder simulation to investigate the influence of attachment styles on partner selection. Tinder was the most downloaded dating app in January 2017 (Eric, 2017). Therefore it has been chosen as a tool in this research. The app lets people evaluate pictures of potential partners by swiping: to the right when you like the appearance of the other and to the left when you do not like it. When two persons swipe to the right, they create a match which will enable them to start a conversation (Groot, 2013). Tinder statistics reveal that on an average day people swipe 1.6 billion times, leading to 26 million matches (Tinder, n.d.; Dating Insider, 2016). Half of the people using online dating sites aim to find a romantic partner (Valkenburg & Peter, 2007). Previous research has shown no differences in motivations for using Tinder compared to online dating websites (Gatter & Hodkinson, 2016). In fact, finding a relationship was identified, along with twelve others, as a motivation for Tinder use (Timmermans & De Caluwe, 2017a). Sexual experience, social approval, and belongingness are also mentioned as motivations. The motive to seek a relationship on Tinder was positively associated with consciousness, and negatively with extraversion (Timmermans & De Caluwe, 2017b). This indicates that personality factors affect by which motivation Tinder users are driven. Whether or not the motivation to seek a relationship drives Tinder users could be predicted by other factors as well, for example attachment styles. 5 THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ATTACHMENT STYLES AND REJECTION BEHAVIOR Following Bowlby’s attachment theory, attachment styles have been classified as secure, anxious, and avoidant (Collins & Read, 1990; Hazan and Shaver, 1987; Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, & Wall, 2015). People with an avoidant attachment style can be described as being less likely to start a relationship (Schindler, Fagundes, & Murdock, 2010; Poulsen, Holman, Busby, & Caroll, 2013). They prefer to be alone and want to maintain distance towards people (McClure, Lydon, Bacuss, & Baldwin, 2010). This makes them more likely to use Tinder for other motives than relationship seeking. Anxious individuals on the contrary are more willing to commit themselves in a relationship (Schindler et al., 2010). They worry about their social relationships, which is expressed in seeking comfort in social approval and romantic relationships (Sibley, 2007). Attachment avoidance and attachment anxiety are both defined as insecure attachment styles, resulting in uncomfortableness with intimacy or autonomy in relationships. (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991). The secure attachment style will not be examined in the current research, because people with this style experience comfortableness in relationships. Therefore it will probably have a lower impact on partner selection and rejection behavior. The focus in this research is placed on the cognitions, characteristics, and experiences of love of insecure attachment styles. The influences of attachment styles on partner selection Attachment consists of internal representations (or working models) of close relationships that are incorporated in the personality structure of a person in adulthood. These internal representations guide social behavior (Bowlby, 1973). According to Bartholomew and Horowitz (1991), there are two dimensions on which attachment orientations are based. These dimensions consist of a person’s cognitive internal representation of themselves and others. A person’s beliefs whether they are worthy of love and attention from others is called the ‘self-model’. The 6 THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ATTACHMENT STYLES AND REJECTION BEHAVIOR extent to which a person believes that other people are capable to give support is called the “other model”. A negative model of the self is related to feelings of anxiety, whereas a negative model of the other is associated with avoidance. (Henderson, Bartholomew, Trinke, & Kwong, 2005). Anxiously and avoidant attached people differ in cognitions about themselves and people in their environment. Differences in cognition translate into behavior. Anxious individuals desire attention and often they overact emotionally, while avoidant individuals experience difficulties when showing affection and love to others (Stomp, 2014). The characteristics and negative cognitions that avoidant individuals have about others make it more likely that they would reject potential romantic partners, while anxious individuals perceive others more positively and therefore would accept more potential romantic partners. Based on the attachment style, people differ in their cognitions about love and experiences of it. Anxious individuals experience love as obsessive, which is expressed by a desire for reciprocation and union. They endure extreme emotional forms of jealousy and sexual attraction (Hazan & Shaver, 1987). Anxiously attached people fall in love more frequently and perceive intimacy more positive, while avoidant attached people are more doubtful of the existence of romantic love (Hazan & Shaver. 1987; Monteoliva, et al., 2016). It seems that anxious individuals perceive more benefits of a relationship, while avoidant individuals perceive more costs. This makes anxiously attached individuals more likely to accept more potential romantic partners compared to avoidant people. Anxious individuals perceive others as positive, but themselves as negative which expresses in a low self-esteem and the belief not to be worthy of love (Henderson et al., 2005). Their cognitions lead to a mismatch between motivation and expectation. They are motivated to 7 THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ATTACHMENT STYLES AND