Monday Morning Leadership 8 Mentoring Sessions You Can’t Afford to Miss Notes by Frumi Rachel Barr, MBA, Ph.D. Author: David Cottrell Publisher: Cornerstone Leadership Institute Copyright year: 2002 ISBN: 0-9719424-3-9 Author’s Bio: David Cottrell is an authority on leadership. He has written more than 20 books on the subject and has helped hundreds of thousands of people learn to be better managers and leaders through his thought-provoking presentations. His books are easy to read and provide situations that business people can easily relate to in learning to be better leaders and managers—they are trusted leadership training tools for organizations throughout the world. Author’s big thought: This book is a story with lessons that can be immediately applied to life. It is about a manager and his mentor. Monday Morning Leadership offers unique encouragement and direction to help become a better manager, employee and person. Prologue Things weren’t going well for Jeff. For several years he had been a relatively successful manager for a Fortune 500 company but now he was in a slump. He was working harder than he ever had, but he was going nowhere. He barely saw his kids. His marriage was suffering. His health was not the best. He was struggling in every part of his life. At work, his team was also feeling the effects of his slump. People were upset. Business was slow – real slow – and the pressure on them to improve performance was rapidly hitting the “unbearable” level. To be honest, he was ready to give up because his doubts about his leadership abilities were overwhelming the confidence he once had. He was at a loss. He was at the point where he needed to talk to someone – someone who would listen and offer suggestions without judging him. Tony was the type of person Jeff aspired to be – wise, respected, confident and a highly sought-after speaker and mentor. But right now Jeff was a long way from becoming the person he wanted to be. [email protected] www.100mustreads.com 1 After debating whether or not to call Tony, Jeff finally decided that he had nothing to lose. His life was careening out of control and something needed to change. After explaining some of the problems he was encountering, Tony agreed to work with Jeff only if he would commit to two things: 1. Tony said that he was not interested in helping Jeff solve his problems. Tony was interested in helping Jeff become a better person and leader and that would require spending some significant time together. If Jeff would commit to meeting with Tony every Monday for eight weeks, Tony would be glad to help. 2. Tony also asked Jeff to commit to teach others the lessons and experiences that he would be sharing with Jeff. Tony said none of Jeff’s problems were unique and that others could learn from Tony’s experiences. As it turned out, those eight meetings – Jeff’s “Monday Mornings with Tony” – were the best meetings Jeff attended in his life. The thought of “gracefully bowing out of sessions” never again crossed his mind. The First Monday - Drivers and Passengers Tony arrived late for the first Monday, blaming his tardiness on the rain. After several minutes of catching up, Tony said it was time to get down to business. Tony began by setting some ground rules for to follow in order to make the best use of their meetings. Start and finish on time Tell the truth Try something different Jeff’s Issues Business was getting tougher. Most of his team was still intact, but some of the performance issues he once ignored were now affecting his division’s performance in a big way – and by “big” he meant they were becoming threats to his job. He was working hard – long hours – but the business indicators were telling him things were pretty bad. He wasn’t very happy and the people on his team weren’t happy. Their results reflected their frustrations. Tony’s Advice When it comes to leading people, there are few problems that are unique. Anyone with experience has had to face the same issues, the same frustrations. Furthermore, Jeff was facing [email protected] www.100mustreads.com 2 some challenges and seeking an outsider’s advice was a good move. Everyone needs people who will help us look at situations from a different perspective. If Jeff wanted to be extraordinary, the first thing he had to do was stop being ordinary. Wanting to be liked and just one of the guys is natural. But as a leader, Jeff’s team should like and respect him for the right reasons. If Jeff’s team likes him because he is fair, consistent, empathetic or a positive person – that’s great. But if they like him because he provides them with free dinners and drinks, what has he gained? Jeff was setting himself up for failure somewhere along the way. If Jeff’s goals were to get everyone to like him, he would avoid making tough decisions because of his fear of upsetting his “friends.” Transitioning from employee to manager or manager to leader requires that making different decisions. Those transitions can sometimes create challenges in every other area of life as well. Car passengers are free to do a lot of things the driver can’t do. As a driver, Jeff’s focus needed to be on the road and not on the distractions. As a driver, Jeff no longer has the right to ‘mess around’ – like listening to loud music – even though it seems okay to do that as a passenger. The same principle applies for managers, like Jeff, to become a leader. He can no longer be a passenger; he must become the driver. Even though responsibilities increase when you become a manager, you lose some of the rights or freedoms you may have enjoyed in the past. To be successful as a leader, managers don’t have the right to join employee ‘pity parties’ and talk about upper management. They lose the right to blame others for a problem in their department as a manager and leader. As manager, he is the person responsible for everything that happens in his department, and that can be pretty hard to swallow. Managers even lose the right to some of their time because they are responsible for other people’s time as well as their own. The opposite of accepting responsibility is to find someone or something to blame for the issues you’re facing. Of course, there is always someone or something to blame, but a real leader spends his time fixing the problem instead of finding someone to blame. What happens when you place blame is that you focus on the past. When you accept responsibility, you focus on this time forward – on the future. Until you accept total responsibility – no matter what – you won’t be able to put plans in place to accomplish your goals. You have control over how you react to situations. If you eliminate blame – don’t even have the word in your vocabulary – then you can make some positive changes. Tony handed Jeff a blue spiral notebook with the words “Monday Mornings with Tony” handwritten across the cover. He instructed Jeff to keep track of what was discussed. When you write things down, you commit to doing them. The Second Monday - Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing Jeff drove into Tony’s driveway at 8:20. He learned something about responsibility last week since he made some different decisions that allowed him to be there on time. Jeff’s Issue [email protected] www.100mustreads.com 3 Jeff explained that the rats won the race again last week. He had so many things coming at him from so many different directions, it was hard for him to get anything done and done well. Jeff has fifteen people reporting to him. His department also has two open positions. Jeff’s boss, Karen, is demanding – and that’s putting it mildly. The team seems to get less and less accomplished. As soon as they put out one fire another pops up. Tony’s Advice Tony advised that Jeff’s job was not crisis management. There are some basic questions that require answers at this point: o Why do you have two open positions? o Why did these team members leave? o Why do you think everyone on your team knows they’re supposed to be doing if they’re not doing it? o What are your priorities? They must ‘keep the main thing the main thing’. The ‘main thing’ was the purpose or priority. If everyone on the team knows the main thing, it helps everyone focus on what is important. The main thing is really three things: o Equip employees with the tools to be successful o Provide outstanding service to customers o Make a profit When you depend on another’s perceptions to match your expectations, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Ask some questions…you may be surprised by your team members’ answers. Try to understand why people choose to leave a manager’s team. It’s a natural tendency (but not an accurate perception) to blame pay, benefits, upper management, salary administration, and other factors for someone’s resignation. People normally don’t leave because of those reasons. People leave because their manager is not meeting their needs. People quit people before they quit companies. For managers to be successful and provide employees with the necessary tools for them to be successful, manager and boss must work together – no matter what.