CHAPTER 3 The Helping Relationship eveloping a helping relationship with abused is a product of the caseworker’s commitment to Dand neglected children and their families helping the children and family, his or her ability is critical to changing the conditions or patterns to relate effectively on an interpersonal level, and of behavior that contributed to the risk of the children and the family’s willingness to be open maltreatment. Experience has demonstrated that and risk “relating” to the caseworker. Caseworkers’ successful intervention and treatment depend heavily behavior can significantly increase the chances that on the quality of the caseworker’s relationship with a positive relationship will develop.18 the children and family. Developing helping alliances with families and CORE CONDITIONS children at risk for child maltreatment is challenging OF THE HELPING RELATIONSHIP because they may have a history of difficulties in forming and sustaining mutually supportive, Researchers have defined three core conditions that interpersonal relationships, and they may not have are essential to the helping relationship: had positive relationships with formal systems, such 16 as schools, social services, or counseling services. • Empathy Whether one’s role is interviewing family members as part of the initial assessment or investigation, or • Respect determining what must change to reduce the risk 19 of maltreatment and improve outcomes for risk • Genuineness reduction, the quality of the caseworker’s effort is A caseworker’s ability to communicate these three directly dependent on his or her ability to develop a core conditions will strongly influence whether collaborative relationship.17 they will build a relationship with the children and This relationship begins with the very first contact family that is characterized by cooperation or a and continues to develop with ongoing caseworker relationship that is hostile and distrustful. Each of and client communication and interaction. By the conditions is described below. definition, relationships have a strong emotional component. Good relationships do not just happen; Empathy they must be built. The relationship does not result from a caseworker’s charismatic personality or a Empathy is the ability to perceive and communicate mystical connection between people. Rather, it with sensitivity the feelings and experiences of Child Protective Services: A Guide for Caseworkers 17 17 another person by being an active responder rather Respect than a passive listener. Empathy is a process of attempting to experience another person’s world Respect refers to the caseworker’s communication and then communicating an understanding of, of acceptance, caring, and concern for the children and compassion for, the other’s experience. The and family. It involves valuing the individual family caseworker should focus on the verbal and nonverbal members as people, separate from any evaluation of cues, such as smiling or eye-rolling, presented by the their behavior or thoughts, although this does not children and family and frequently share his or her mean that caseworkers sanction or approve thoughts understanding of what the client has communicated. or behaviors that society may disapprove. The content of the message is never ignored, but empathy goes beyond the facts, circumstances, and All human beings need to feel accepted and events of the children’s and family’s life and conveys respected; it is especially important for abused and an understanding of how those circumstances neglected children and their families to feel accepted uniquely affect them. and respected by their caseworker. Many abused and neglected children and their families fear or Empathy builds trust and openness and helps to mistrust caseworkers and the social service system. establish rapport between the children and family The helping relationship will not be established and the caseworker. Caseworkers can demonstrate unless the caseworker communicates respect for each empathy by: person’s potential. Caseworkers should believe that all people have the strength, internal resiliency, and • Paying attention to verbal and nonverbal cues; capacity to become more competent. • Communicating an understanding of the children’s Respect also means using culturally competent and family’s message; practice. Culturally competent practice entails: • Showing a desire to understand; • Cultural awareness. Caseworkers should • Discussing what is important to the children and understand and identify the critical cultural family; values important to the children and family as well as to themselves. • Referring to the children’s and family’s feelings. • Knowledge acquisition. Caseworkers should In their effort to be empathetic, some new understand how these cultural values function caseworkers may lose their objectivity and “over- as strengths in the children and family. identify” with the children’s perspective or, in other cases, be so family-centered as to ignore some risk • Skill development. Caseworkers should be factors. It also should be recognized that some in able to match services that support the identified the helping profession have been abused and may cultural values and then incorporate them in the over-identify with either the child or the parent. appropriate interventions. Some signs of over-identification may include a • Inductive learning. Caseworkers should continue difficulty or inability seeing a parent’s strengths or to seek solutions that include considering indigenous being unable to see any possible positive intention interventions and matching cultural values to behind the parent’s behavior. This may make it Western interventions.21 difficult to be empathetic to other family members, which may lead to counterproductive outcomes for the family as a whole.20 18 The Helping Relationship Child Protective Services: A Guide for Caseworkers 19 Genuineness Another means by which caseworkers can demonstrate genuineness is through the use of self-disclosure. Genuineness refers to caseworkers being themselves. When used carefully, this can be an effective method This means simply that caseworkers are consistent in for establishing a connection between the caseworker what they say and do, nondefensive, and authentic. and the client. It is important, however, that self- They must have clear knowledge and an acceptance disclosure is used judiciously to prevent a shift in the of the agency’s authority, procedures, and policies, focus from the client to the caseworker. and of their professional role—both in its meaning to the worker and the meaning to abused and neglected TECHNIQUES FOR BUILDING RAPPORT children and their families. Genuineness means integrating who we are and our role in the agency with acceptance of children and families and a commitment In addition to the core conditions and guiding to their welfare. If this occurs, then what caseworkers principles for developing a helping relationship, say will match their attitudes and beliefs. there are specific techniques caseworkers can use to build rapport. The following list provides some However, a worker must use discretion. For example, examples: if a caseworker feels shock, horror, or anger over a parent’s abusive behavior, expressing these feelings • Approach each individual involved with an would not be productive. In fact, it may alienate open mind. parents, causing them to be angry, defensive, or resistant. Rather, caseworkers need to be aware • Find out what is important to the child and of their feelings and at the same time respond in to the family. For example, do not press the a respectful manner that opens rather than closes issue of staying sober as the priority if that is communication. not important to the parent or caretaker, but do explain that staying sober will speed up getting Genuineness contributes to the helping relationship the children back if that is their priority. by reducing the emotional distance between the caseworker and the children and family and • Use mirroring. Take note of words used by the by helping them to identify the caseworker as child or family and try to incorporate them into another human being similar to himself or herself. your conversations. Caseworkers can demonstrate genuineness by: • Listen to the child or parent’s explanation of the • Being themselves and not taking on a role or situation without correcting or arguing. acting contrary to how they believe or feel; • Ask questions rather than issuing threats or • Making sure that their nonverbal and verbal commands. responses match; • Clarify expectations and purposes. Clearly explain • Using nonverbal behaviors—such as eye contact, the helping process and the caseworker’s role in smiles, or sitting forward in the chair—to working together toward solutions. communicate trustworthiness and acceptance; • Help the child and parent or caretaker retain • Being able to express themselves naturally a sense of control; for example, involve them without artificial behaviors; in scheduling appointments and ask how they would like to be addressed. • Being nondefensive.22 18 The Helping Relationship Child Protective Services: A Guide for Caseworkers 19 • Clarify commitment and obligations to the • Intends the best for the child, parents, family, working relationship. and society.24 • Acknowledge difficult feelings and encourage Difficulties in Using Authority Effectively open and honest discussion of feelings. • Be consistent, persistent, and follow through. The caseworker’s effective