A QUALITATIVE STUDY OF NIGERIAN COUPLES IN THE UNITED STATES: EXAMINING EMOTIONAL REACTIVITY AND THE CONCEPT OF DIFFERENTIATION OF SELF A Dissertation Presented to The Graduate Faculty of The University of Akron In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Doctor of Philosophy Benson Okpara December, 2013 A QUALITATIVE STUDY OF NIGERIAN COUPLES IN THE UNITED STATES: EXAMINING EMOTIONAL REACTIVITY AND THE CONCEPT OF DIFFERENTIATION OF SELF Benson Okpara Dissertation Approved: Accepted: Advisor Department Chair Dr. Karin Jordan Dr. Karin Jordan Committee Member Interim Dean of the College Dr. Rebecca A. Boyle Dr. Susan G. Clark Committee Member Dean of the Graduate School Dr. Cynthia A. Reynolds Dr. George R. Newkome Committee Member Date Dr. Suzanne MacDonald Committee Member Dr. John Queener ii ABSTRACT The purpose of the Study is to examine emotional reactivity of Nigeria couples in US in line with the concept of differentiation of self. This is very important because some Nigerian families’ emotional reactivity in the U.S. had caused numerous divorces and separations, as well as physical, emotional, and mental abuse of spouses and children. The main research question the researcher sets out to answer in the study is (a) what role does emotional reactivity play in the marital stability within the family system of Nigerian immigrants in the U.S.? The following sub-questions helped to answer the main research question. (i) What are the difficulties and consequent stressors? (ii) What is perceived as different from life in Nigeria? (iii) What is the nature of change and adaption to life in the U.S? (iv) What is the impact on marriage and family? Five Nigerian couples that are struggling to hold on to their marital union were used for the Study. A phenomenological research approach was used to understand the effects of their emotional reactivity on the stability of their marriages. This approach emphasizes the meaning participants derive from their life experience and validates their individual and social construction of reality Through the analysis of the couples’ interview the following themes emerged (a) Role Reversal/Adaptation (b) Financial stress (c) Lack of support network (d) Experience of Discrimination in places of work. The study also made the following iii findings that a good understanding of the Bowen differentiation of self (togetherness and individualism) will help Nigerian couples to master their emotional reactions in the face of stressful daily life in the US. Suggestions for future study in the area of the study and researcher’s personal recommendation were discussed iv DEDICATION This dissertation is dedicated to the eternal memory of my beloved elder sister, Emilia Adanna Njoku, who was shot dead on 21st April 2010 the same day I submitted the IRB application for this research work. Also I dedicated this dissertation to the memory of my beloved parents, Chief Pius Okparaibeneme and Ezinne Alice Okparaibeneme, and finally to the memory of Gloria Uhlik v ACKNOWLEGEMENTS The long journey of completing this dissertation and the PhD program has been very challenging and daunting. I wouldn’t have finished it had it not been for the love and support of many wonderful people who encouraged and supported me. First I must acknowledge the tremendous contributions of my Advisor Dr. Patricia Parr, who mentored me during the earlier stages of my research but died before the research work was finished. I would also like to thank Dr. Karin Jordan and Dr. Suzanne MacDonald who helped me to finish the remaining chapters of my research work after the death of Dr. Patricia Parr. I am also thankful for the input of the other members of my dissertation committee – Dr. John Queener, Dr. Rebecca Boyle, Dr. Cynthia Reynolds. I would also like to thank my Bishop Most Rev Augustine Ukwuoma, the Catholic Bishop of Orlu, Nigeria for allowing me to finish this program and also I am thankful to his predecessor Bishop Gregory Ochiagha, The Bishop emeritus of the Catholic diocese of Orlu Nigeria who sent me for further studies in the US. My unreserved gratitude goes to my special friends, Dr. Ed and Mary Ann Cosentino and also Eleanor Campana. My special thanks go to Brenda Jones, Msgr. Bill Connell, the entire members of St Mary/St Benedict Parish Canton Ohio and Holy Family Parish Poland Ohio. Finally I am thankful to my family for their love and vi support, and to my numerous friends in Nigeria and in the U.S for their friendship, love and concern. vii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page LIST OF TABLES ...................................................................................................... xii LIST OF FIGURES .................................................................................................... xiii CHAPTER I. INTRODUCTION ................................................................................................ 1 Nigeria and Its Demographics ......................................................................... 2 Brief Historical Perspective ............................................................................. 4 Nigerian Population the U.S ............................................................................ 6 Nigerian Immigration in the U.S ...................................................................... 8 General Concept Family and Culture ............................................................... 11 Bowen Theory of Differentiation .................................................................... 17 Significance of the Study ................................................................................. 18 Purpose of the Study ......................................................................................... 20 Research Question ............................................................................................ 21 Delimitation ...................................................................................................... 21 Author’s Statement ........................................................................................... 22 Summary .......................................................................................................... 24 II. REVIEW OF THE LITTERATURE .................................................................... 25 Introduction ...................................................................................................... 25 viii Murray Bowen (1913-1990) ............................................................................. 26 Bowen’s Theory ......................................................................................... 27 Major Concepts .......................................................................................... 29 Differentiation of Self ................................................................................ 34 Emotional Reactivity .................................................................................. 43 Nigerian Marital Law and Divorce ............................................................ 46 Shortcomings of Marital Law ..................................................................... 47 The Statutory Marital Law and Divorce ..................................................... 48 Catholic and Protestant Influences on Nigeria Statutory Marital Law and Divorce .................................................................................... 49 Nigerian Reactions to the Matrimonial Causes Act of 1970 ...................... 52 Nigerian Customary Law of Marriage and Divorce ................................... 53 Customary Marriage Celebration ............................................................... 54 Essential Requirements for Customary Marriage ....................................... 56 Islamic Marriage (nikah) and Divorce (talaa) ........................................... 59 Marriage in the U.S. ......................................................................................... 63 Challenges to Marriage in the U.S. ............................................................ 65 Sex as a National Obsession ....................................................................... 67 The Internet and Its Effects on Human Relationships ................................ 68 Changing Gender Roles and Power Issues in Marriage and Family .......... 69 Summary .......................................................................................................... 71 III. METHODS AND PROCEDURES ..................................................................... 73 Purpose of the Study ......................................................................................... 73 ix Research Question ............................................................................................ 73 Research Design ............................................................................................... 74 Participants Recruitment ............................................................................ 74 Study Participants ....................................................................................... 75 Data Collection ................................................................................................. 76 Initial Contact and Telephone Interview .................................................... 76 Demographic Questionnaire ....................................................................... 77 Interview Protocol .....................................................................................