Training Our Minds in, with and for Compassion An Introduction to Concepts and Compassion-Focused Exercises Written by Paul Gilbert PhD FBPsS In consultation with Drs Christine Braehler, Michelle Cree, Corinne Gale, Chris Gillespie, Ken Goss, Andrew Gumley, Chris Irons, Deborah Lee, Ian Lowens, Allison Kelly, Russell Kolts, Dennis Tirch, Mary Welford, Alistair Wilson and Choden © P. Gilbert 2010 1 Contents Section One Training Our Minds in Compassion: The Basic Model and Principles...............................4 Challenge number 1 - Dealing with our complex brains...................................................................4 Challenge number 2 - Just finding ourselves here .........................................................................8 Understanding Motives and Emotions................................................................9 What about positive emotions? What functions do they have?.................................................................11 Some key questions for us to ponder ................................................................................................................ 12 The importance of thinking................................................................................................................................... 12 Emotional Learning and Body Memories ........................................................... 13 The Problems with Protection and Safety Strategies ........................................... 14 The Three Circles Model: The Interactions between Different Types of Emotion............ 16 1. Threat and Self-protection System:............................................................................................................. 16 2. Incentive and Resource-seeking System..................................................................................................... 17 3. Soothing and Contentment System:.............................................................................................................. 18 Emotions about Emotions........................................................................... 19 Positive emotions can be difficult ...................................................................................................................... 19 Balancing our emotions ...........................................................................................................................................20 The Many Parts of You ............................................................................ 20 What is Compassion? ............................................................................... 22 The attributes and qualities of compassion.....................................................................................................22 The skills of compassion ........................................................................................................................................23 Warmth and kindness .............................................................................................................................................24 How Will Teaching Myself to be Compassionate Help Me? ...................................... 26 Fear of Compassion................................................................................. 26 How our Thoughts and Images Affect our Minds and Brains ................................... 27 The power of self-criticism..................................................................................................................................28 The power of self-kindness ..................................................................................................................................29 Key Messages....................................................................................... 30 Section Two Compassion: The Exercises ........................................................................ 32 Starting your practise............................................................................................................................................32 Attention............................................................................................ 33 Mindfulness ......................................................................................... 34 Mindfulness, attention and distraction.............................................................................................................34 Mindfulness and practise.......................................................................................................................................36 Mindfulness and consciousness............................................................................................................................36 Soothing Rhythm Breathing ........................................................................ 37 Exercise 1: Soothing Rhythm Breathing ...........................................................................................................38 Simple body scan and relaxation .................................................................. 39 Exercise 2: Simple body scan and relaxation..................................................................................................40 Compassion Focused Imagery Work ............................................................... 42 Some key exercises.................................................................................................................................................42 Wandering mind........................................................................................................................................................42 2 No clear pictures......................................................................................................................................................42 Safe place and compassionate colour imagery................................................................................................43 Exercise 3: Creating a Safe Place ......................................................................................................................43 Exercise 4: Compassionate Colour(s) .................................................................................................................44 Developing the Compassionate Self................................................................ 44 Recognising the different parts of you ............................................................................................................44 The compassionate self..........................................................................................................................................45 Exercise 5: The Compassionate Self .................................................................................................................46 Compassion under the duvet.................................................................................................................................47 You at your best .......................................................................................................................................................47 Exercise 6: Compassion Flowing Out..................................................................................................................48 Focusing the Compassionate Self .................................................................. 48 Exercise 7: Focusing the compassionate self on others..............................................................................48 Exercise 8: Compassion flowing into oneself: Using Memory.....................................................................49 Contrasting memories.............................................................................................................................................49 Exercise 9: Focusing the Compassionate Self on Yourself.........................................................................50 Exercise 10: Creating a Compassionate Ideal ................................................................................................. 51 The Skills of Compassion........................................................................... 52 Compassionate Attention, Thinking, Behaviour and Feeling........................................................................52 Compassionate Thinking .........................................................................................................................................53 Changing self-criticism to compassionate self correction..........................................................................55 Distancing and Wise Observing ...........................................................................................................................56 Breaking identification with ones thoughts.....................................................................................................57 Compassionate Letter Writing ..................................................................... 58 Compassionate self ..................................................................................................................................................59 Compassionate image...............................................................................................................................................60 Guide to your letter writing.................................................................................................................................