T HE AUST RALIA DAY ''IT'S JUST NOT CRICKET''” The purest form of the game has nothing to do with manicured pitches, gleaming cricket whites or egg and bacon blazers. In fact it doesn’t even involve a cricket ball. The real heart and soul of our game is that hallowed piece of turf that no amount of dead patches, dog poo or landscaping can diminish. Of course, I’m talking about the eternal crucible of Australian Backyard Cricket. If you want to see cricketers forged, skills honed and true character revealed - look no further than your nearest backyard. Or front yard. Or cul de sac or driveway or quiet street. Therein lies the beauty of Backyard Cricket: it doesn’t discriminate (unless you’re a Pom or a Kiwi, of course). Over the course of my career, I’ve been fortunate enough to reach some special milestones. My first ODI at Hamilton in 1995, my first Test match in 2000, my elevation to the Elite Panel of ICC Umpires in 2003 and to officiate in four straight ICC Cricket World Cups. But after 84 Tests, close to 200 ODIs and 21 years of International Umpiring, the opportunity to help Optus and Cricket Australia create this definitive edition of the Australia Day Backyard Cricket Rules is a thrill and a huge highlight. May your half-taped tennis balls swing wildly, your pull shot run hotter than a six-burner barbie and your LBW appeals be heard from up to three streets away. In the meantime, I wish you all the fun, skills and spills on the biggest backyard cricketing date in the calendar: January 26. Just don’t forget the “Automatic Boonie”. I’m a proud Kiwi and even I know that’s Un-Australian. SO HAPPY AUST RALIA DAY. ''YOU BEAUT Y'' BILLY BOWDEN Page 1 1.1: MINIMUM REQUIREMENT S The minimum equipment required for backyard cricket is as follows: (a) a bat, (b) a ball; and (c) wickets 1.2: T HE BAT A batsman may use any implement with a handle and a solid surface. Wood is encouraged but not mandatory. (a) Extra street cred shall be awarded for classic bats like a Duncan Fearnley Magnum, SS Jumbo or Gray-Nicholls Double Scoop. (b) Plastic Kanga Cricket-style bats are permitted, but only in the complete absence of a viable alternative and with the accepted risk of general ridicule. (c) While not technically illegal, playing with the signature bat of a foreign player is considered un-Australian and generally frowned upon. (d) Visiting players may use their own bat under the proviso that its also available to other participants and not insured against misuse or damage in any way, shape or form. 1.3: T HE BALL The official backyard cricket ball is a tennis ball, which may be doctored in any number of ways, including (but not limited to): (a) Taping up one side to enhance its swinging properties. (Gaffa or electrical tape is preferred to masking tape. Sellotape is to be used under absolutely no circumstances, ever.) (b) Scuffing up one side on the concrete. (c) Drawing or writing on the ball with texta. (d) Deliberately wetting the ball with water, beer or dog slobber. 1.4: T HE WICKET S Wickets (also: stumps) may take the form of any identifiable target, such as (but not limited to) a garbage bin, Esky, fence paling, chair, cardboard box, milk crate or those little green utilities boxes you see dotted around the place (note: best avoided if buzzing). Page 2 2.1: T HE PLAYING SURFACE A grassed area of The Host’s property is the preferred playing arena. In the absence of a suitable front or backyard, or in the event of ground redevelopments (e.g. Dad planting new grass seedlings), Backyard Cricket may be played in any outdoor environment with the aforementioned minimum equipment. Unless it’s footy season. 2.2: T HE PITCH The length of the pitch may vary depending on the outdoor environment. The Host will have final say and reserves the right to pull a “Greigy” by sticking his keys into the pitch at any time. 2.3: T HE CREASE Again, this is at The Host’s discretion, but a widely accepted measurement is the combined length of one bat and one handle. 3.1: MINIMUM A valid game of backyard cricket requires a minimum of two players at any one time; or, in special circumstances, one player and a very well trained dog. 3.2: MAXIMUM An unlimited number of players may participate in a game of Backyard Cricket at any one time. However, players can be turned away at The Host’s discretion, particularly if they are New Zealanders, Englishmen or renowned for grassing easy chances. 3.3: T EAMS Backyard Cricket is a gladiatorial individual sport where participants compete for individual glory. If you seek a sense of belonging or feel the need to contribute to something bigger than yourself, then by all means go and join your local cricket club. 4.1: SIX & OUT Selfishly hitting a ball out of the backyard or beyond an established perimeter will result in the batter being awarded six (6) runs. However: (a) The batter will also be deemed to be dismissed and will be responsible for collecting the ball. (b) Where the ball cannot be retrieved by the dismissed batter, other players are obligated to assist with ball retrieval. If the ball cannot be retrieved nor a substitute ball located, the game shall be abandoned and the responsible batsman deemed a ‘poor bloke’ and sentenced to Esky duties for the remainder of the day. 6 & Out - Watch the video here. Page 3 (c) No reference to the Richard Chee Quee-fronted rock band ‘Six & Out’ shall be made by any participant at any time. Six & Out signals 4.2: ONE HAND ONE BOUNCE The fielder must not fumble the ball for the batter to be dismissed. One Hand, One Bounce - Watch the video here. 4.3: PET S Upon the ball striking a pet or any other animal on the full, the batter is deemed out. The batter is also out if a pet catches the ball. In the event of excess slobber, the bowler will be responsible for cleaning the ball. Or not. Out If Caught By A Pet: Watch the video here. Out If The Pet Catches The Ball signals 4.4: AUT OMAT IC WICKIE (a) The ‘Automatic Wickie’ regulations vary from ground to ground. However, as a general rule, the position will extend to a virtual third slip and may/may not include a leg slip. (b) Where a batter edges the ball behind the stumps to the nominated Automatic Wickie zone, the batter will be deemed out. (c) In situations where a wicketkeeper is present, The Host or Umpire may still allow the Automat- ic Wickie rule to be enforced. (d) The Automatic Wickie never drops a catch. 4.5: AUT OMAT IC BOONIE An object, not more than 1m in height, shall be placed at short leg and be deemed out when struck by the ball on the full after being hit with the bat. The player shall be out regardless of how hard the ball is struck. Page 4 4.6: OT HER MET HODS OF DISMISSAL The batter shall also be deemed out if: (a) A fieldsman successfully retrieves the ball from a roof or tree without the ball hitting the ground. (b) The ball is hit on the roof and is caught after bouncing or rolling off. Note: the fieldsman must catch the ball one-handed for the batter to be dismissed. (c) The ball becomes lodged in items on the clothes line (e.g. giant set of undies, bras). (d) The ball is hit into a swimming pool, fishpond or water feature on the full. (e) The ball strikes a nominated tree on the full. Ball Lands In The Pool: Watch the video here. Ball In The Tree: Watch the video here. Clothes Line: Watch the video here. Ball stuck in clothes line, stuck in tree and ball lands in pool signals 4.7: MAGIC WICKET S A batter can be run-out by the fielder hitting the stumps at either end of the pitch, irrespective of which end the batter is running to. 4.8: LBW No batsman may be dismissed by LBW, and as such any LBW appeal is automatically declined the moment the appeal begins (although voracious appeals are still encouraged). Batters deliberately blocking the ball with their legs are deemed to be ‘poor blokes’, and may be punished by repeated bouncers and a torrent of sledging. 4.9: F IRST BALL A battter cannot be dismissed first ball unless it is Australia Day and the batter is an Englishman or New Zealander. First Ball: Watch the video here. 5.1: LEGAL DELIVERY (a) The bowling crease shall be arbitrary in nature and loosely marked, either by a crack in the driveway concrete or an imaginary mark on the grass. (b) A bowler cannot be called for a ‘no ball’ unless it is grossly excessive in nature and results in the batter being unfairly dismissed and general consensus is that it violates the spirit of the game. In a situation where there are only two players the host will have final say. In such circumstances the visitor is under no obligation to continue playing and may leave – with their bat and ball. Page 5 5.2: STANDARD OVER The bowler will continue to bowl until: (a) He or she relinquishes the ball due to poor form, waning interest or struggling fitness.