“How Do You Spell Family?”: Literacy, Heteronormativity, and Young Children of Lesbian Mothers DISSERTATION Presented in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Doctor of Philosophy in the Graduate School of The Ohio State University By Caitlin L. Ryan, M.A. Graduate Program in Education: Teaching and Learning The Ohio State University 2010 Dissertation Committee: Professor Mollie V. Blackburn, Advisor Professor Patricia Enciso Professor Marcia Farr Professor Harvey J. Graff Copyright by Caitlin L. Ryan 2010 Abstract There are an estimated 14 million children with one or more parent who identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and/or transgender (LGBT), but there is little to no research about these children’s experiences in schools. This study investigated elementary school- aged children with lesbian mothers from five families as they moved between their (gay) homes and (straight) schools. It drew on a theoretical framework that combined sociocultural theory, queer theory, and New Literacy Studies to foreground the social nature of the self and language. The research design was a multi-sited ethnography that combined qualitative, ethnographic methods with queer theory to create a project appropriate for researching the liminal positions of children with lesbian mothers with/to larger LGBT communities in a variety of discursive locations. Data was collected via participant observation and informal interviews in homes, schools, and community sites over fourteen months. The data demonstrated that even young children with lesbian mothers are attuned to normative expectations of families and adjust information they share in socially savvy ways. The study illustrates how literacy is one mechanism through which they manage information about their LGBT-headed families in the face of heteronormative demands. At home, representations of family that included LGBT people and relationships were normalized. Such kinship was frequently indexed by language and literacy practices, yet not discussed on a regular basis. In schools, heteronormative ii representations of family were normalized, yet again not explicitly discussed. The discursive and textual representations of family by children with lesbian mothers served as the bridge connecting these two extremes, and comparing these uses of language and literacy became a way to bring the unspoken assumptions of different contexts into greater relief. A summer book club conducted by the researcher with a subset of the participants served as an example of a hybrid space where children with lesbian mothers spoke openly about their families, as in their homes, but with their peers, as in their schools. In this space discursive productions about family were not assumed nor silenced, but instead actively negotiated by the children in new ways. Overall, this study documented the ways young children with lesbian mothers undertake sophisticated discursive work to position themselves in social situations that are shaped to various degrees by heteronormativity. They are attentive to and monitor their discursive productions of family and other self-authoring practices as they participate in settings of their everyday lives that may or may not be queer friendly. These children use an awareness of the contextualized nature of talk and literacy to understand heteronormative assumptions in these settings and shape knowledge about their families appropriately. The study encourages teachers’ attempts to respect children’s own choices about discussing their families, while still including books and language that represent LGBT-headed families in their classrooms. The research finds that the more choice children have in their immediate work environments, and the more they are surrounded by others they know to be supportive of their families, the more likely they are to share information about their family comfortably. iii This document is dedicated to the families who participated in this study. Thank you for being my teachers. It is also dedicated to COLAGErs everywhere and all those who work to create a less heteronormative world for children. iv Acknowledgments This is a project about family, one that required a whole family of its own to bring it to fruition. The people I have the opportunity to thank here have all parented the project in their own ways, helping me and the research grow and develop before I could eventually bring the work into the world. I could never have anticipated the support I needed for this work or the support that people around me would so generously extend. That I have a chance to thank them here is good, but hardly feels like enough to repay them for the kindness they’ve shown. At least it is a start. My first and deepest thanks go to the families who participated in this study. You welcomed me into your homes more generously than I ever had expected. Spending time with you and with your children was always enjoyable and enlightening. Thank you for your time and your ideas. I am honored that my relationships with you have continued after the project, and I look forward to all that you will help your children accomplish in their lives. My dissertation committee has been a strong source of support, encouragement, and guidance as I stumbled my way through this work. Mollie Blackburn, my advisor, consistently and generously helped me sort through my own thinking to come to an idea or plan or question that was worth pursuing further. She pushed and encouraged, praised v and critiqued in just the right ratios to keep me moving forward. Her willingness to share her personal and professional experiences with me kept me motivated and reminded me that I wasn’t alone in my doubts and frustrations, or in my pride and excitement. I especially appreciate that I was able to do this work with an advisor who is herself a lesbian mother and who has created an academic life based on activist work with LGBT youth. She has provided me with a model for being a woman, scholar, advisor, activist, and mother, all lessons for which I am profoundly grateful. I had the incredible good fortune of arriving at Ohio State at the same time as Harvey J. Graff. After enrolling in his class, he immediately welcomed me into the world of LiteracyStudies@OSU. As a result, my scholarship and my approach to literacy have been positively and permanently changed. Harvey not only provided me with one-of-a- kind opportunities for learning, but supported me in all of them. I thank him for his confidence in my abilities, his deep care and attention to my work, and his friendship. Marcia Farr’s vast body of scholarship and her reputation as a sociolinguist first drew me to Ohio State, for which I will always be grateful. Her early guidance through my coursework and the ethnographic training she provided were invaluable to my development as a scholar. Patricia Enciso’s abilities to theorize pedagogies of literacy and literary reading set me on my own path of research about children, texts, social positioning, and meaning- making. My work has benefitted from hearing her think through the layers of complexity within social interactions. As an editor of Language Arts, Pat and the other members of the editorial team – Laurie Katz, Barbara Kiefer, Detra Price-Dennis, and Melissa Wilson vi – all listened patiently to my questions, shared their thoughts, and generally supported my research and writing even when it took time from my work at the journal. Denise Davila’s assistance assured we met publication deadlines while I met writing deadlines. I have been lucky to have many friends rally around me during this process. COLAGErs Kate Ranson-Walsh and Hope Berry Manley were my first teachers about the experiences of children with LGBT parents. Hope read early drafts of several chapters and encouraged me to write in ways that communicated the respect I have for my participants. My writing groups - Melissa Wilson, Marlene Beierle, Sara Childers, Sean Connors, Daniel Newhart, and Ryan Rish – provided feedback on my prose and, more importantly, provided structure and friendship in what can be an isolating process. My SwL group – Lee Evans, Noah Demland, Cinnamon Reiheld, Claire Williams, Megan Chawansky, Monica Carroll, and Shelley Smith – were my queer chosen family during my writing, encouraging study time and answering ethical dilemmas of all sorts. Joby Ryan and Stephanie Davis, Audra Slocum, Carrie Malcom Tench, and Emily Newhouse Dillingham all shared their homes as a writing space even when I was not a very fun guest and talked through ideas when I was stuck. Ann Palcisco helped me shape the beginning of the project and helped me not throw my computer across the room in frustration as I formatted it at the end. Jill Hermann-Wilmarth, Tara Cyphers, and Mary Beth Ressler read drafts and somehow convinced me that they made sense and I should keep writing. Ruth Friedman, Anna Scanlon, Ashianna Esmail, Sarah Bauer, Anne- Marie Angelo, Matt Jackson, and Emma Beringei made me laugh when I worried I might have forgotten how. vii Finally, I want to thank my family of origin. They are, without a doubt, the most incredible and loving people I know. When I came out to my parents, Joe and Mary Pat Ryan, ten years ago, I couldn’t have imagined a time when my mother would call me to discuss the heteronormative aspects of a story she saw on the news or my father and I would sit in their family room and discuss the details of the LGBT-inclusive non- discrimination policy he wants to implement in his professional organization. I know I haven’t always made it an easy process, but their support has been unwavering and their love unending. At the end of this project, where I wrote and thought about families of all sorts for several years, I can say for certain that such is the definition of family.