Relating to a Spiritual Teacher: Building a Healthy Relationship Relating to a Spiritual Teacher: Building a Healthy Relationship Table of Contents Relating to a Spiritual Teacher: Building a Healthy Relationship.......................................1 Preface: Historical Survey of the Interaction between Western Seekers and Tibetan Spiritual Teachers...........................................................................................................1 Initial Contacts between Western Seekers and Tibetan Spiritual Teachers..............1 The Establishment of Dharma Centers and the Start of Confusion...........................2 Further Forces Leading to Misunderstanding............................................................3 The Rise of Unhealthy Relationships........................................................................4 The Approach Suggested for Revising the Student-Teacher Relationship...............5 The Present Book.......................................................................................................6 Part I: Spiritual Seekers and Spiritual Teachers..............................................................7 1 Cultural Considerations..........................................................................................7 The Typical Spiritual Seeker in Traditional Tibet...............................................7 Joining a Tibetan Monastery or Nunnery in Traditional Tibet............................8 Joining a Monastery or Nunnery Nowadays in Exile..........................................9 Traditional Tibetan Monastic Training................................................................9 The Traditional Spiritual Life of Lay Tibetans.................................................10 The Contrast with Western Spiritual Seekers....................................................11 2 The Traditional Meaning of a Spiritual Teacher..................................................12 The Rectification of Terms................................................................................12 The Derivation of the Words Guru and Lama...................................................13 La as a Cosmic Force.........................................................................................14 The Full Original Meaning of a Lama...............................................................15 Other Uses of the Word Lama...........................................................................15 Reincarnate Lamas: Tulkus and Rinpoches.......................................................16 Lamaism and the Traditional Social Role of Tulkus.........................................18 "God-Kings"......................................................................................................19 Tibetan Humor...................................................................................................19 Spiritual Friends................................................................................................20 The Buddhist Concept of Friendship.................................................................21 Geshes and Kenpos............................................................................................22 Summary............................................................................................................23 3 The Traditional Meaning of a Spiritual Seeker....................................................23 The Implications of the Sanskrit Terms for Disciple........................................24 The Meaning of Being a Teacher's Getrug........................................................25 The Starting Point for Becoming a Disciple......................................................25 The Necessity of Correct Understanding and Conviction in Rebirth for a Disciple to Aim Sincerely for Liberation and Enlightenment..............26 The Necessity of Correct Understanding and Conviction in Rebirth for a Disciple to Reach Even the First Stage of Spiritual Development.......27 The Place of Conviction in Rebirth in Entering a Disciple-Mentor Relationship..........................................................................................27 Entering a Disciple-Mentor Relationship while Aiming for Spiritual Goals Only in This Lifetime or Also for Future Generations.........................28 Stipulations for a Beginner Disciple to Aim Provisionally for Nontraditional Goals.............................................................................29 The Difference between Becoming a Disciple of a Spiritual Mentor and Becoming a Client of a Therapist.........................................................30 Inappropriate Usage of the Term Disciple........................................................32 The Realistic Attitude of an Authentic Disciple................................................33 i Relating to a Spiritual Teacher: Building a Healthy Relationship Table of Contents Relating to a Spiritual Teacher: Building a Healthy Relationship 4 The Different Types Of Spiritual Teachers and Spiritual Seekers.......................33 Premises.............................................................................................................33 Terminology......................................................................................................34 Buddhism Professors.........................................................................................35 Dharma Instructors............................................................................................35 Meditation or Ritual Trainers............................................................................36 Spiritual Mentors...............................................................................................36 Refuge or Vow Preceptors.................................................................................37 Mahayana Masters.............................................................................................38 Tantric Masters..................................................................................................39 Root Gurus.........................................................................................................40 Progressing through Graded Relationships with Spiritual Teachers.................41 Summary............................................................................................................41 5 The Need for Various Levels of Spiritual Teachers on the Sutra Path.................42 The Need for a Buddhism Professor..................................................................42 The Need for a Dharma Instructor.....................................................................42 The Need for a Meditation or Ritual Trainer.....................................................43 The Need for a Spiritual Mentor........................................................................43 The Need for a Combination of Sources of Inspiration.....................................45 How Sources of Inspiration Work Together......................................................46 The Relation between a Spiritual Mentor and Buddha-Nature.........................46 How Inspiration Activates Buddha-Nature.......................................................47 Inspiration from Oral Transmission..................................................................47 6 The Special Need for a Spiritual Mentor in Highest Tantra.................................49 The Special Role of Oral Transmission in Tantra.............................................49 Diverse Methods for Inspiring Disciples...........................................................50 The Deepest Need for a Tantric Master.............................................................51 Clear Light Mind as a Type of Buddha-Nature.................................................51 The Inner Guru..................................................................................................52 The Need for a Root Guru.................................................................................53 The Ultimate Aim of Progressive Relationships with Spiritual Teachers.........53 Summary and Conclusion..................................................................................54 Part II: The Dynamics of a Healthy Student-Teacher Relationship..............................54 7 Establishing a Relationship with a Spiritual Teacher...........................................54 The Intended Audience for Graded-Path Texts.................................................55 Evaluating Material from the Graded-Path Texts..............................................56 Different Levels of Guru-Meditation Taught in Graded-Path Texts.................56 The Qualities of a Spiritual Teacher..................................................................57 Thorough Examination......................................................................................58 The Qualities of a Spiritual Seeker....................................................................60 Formalizing a Disciple-Mentor Relationship....................................................60 Expectations in a Disciple-Mentor Relationship...............................................61 8 Sutra-Level Guru-Meditation...............................................................................62 The Applicability of the Meditation..................................................................62 Focusing on Good Qualities while Not Denying Shortcomings.......................62