Revision Exemplar Sample for Word Choice Simone Biles is a good American athlete who has won a lot of Olympic and World Championship medals. She had a lot of challenges in her personal life. She was born on March 14, 1997 in Columbus, Ohio. Unfortunately, when Simone was born, her mother was a drug addict and she was placed in foster care. Simone and her brothers and sisters were raised by her grandparents. Later, they adopted Simone and her brothers and sisters. Simone said, “When I was younger, I thought every kid was adopted…to me it was just normal.” She calls her grandparents, Mom and Dad. Her career started when she saw a gymnastics center while on a field trip to a day care center. She signed up for tumbling and she was on her way. Her Mom cared for her throughout her gymnastics journey. Informative/Explanatory Writing Rubric- Word Choice . Precise language and domain Use ‘expert’ words. specific vocabulary are used. Most definitions are complete Definitions explain words that could and helpful. be tricky for the audience. Nouns and verbs are mostly Find and replace repeated words. clear and precise. Replace pronouns and vague words. Most modifiers are carefully Carefully select descriptive words selected. and phrases. Suggestions for teachers when modeling the word choice revision exemplar with your students. 1. Give the students the exemplar sheet and review the purpose of word choice and its impact on our writing. Review the components of the rubric. 2. Read through the paragraph and underline words that can be placed with more precise and domain specific vocabulary. “athlete” – gymnast 3. Draw a box around any word that needs a definition for the reader. “foster care”- Foster care is a situation in which for a period of time a child lives and is cared for by people who are not the child’s parents. 4. Circle repeated words, pronouns and vague words. “she” – Simone, Ms. Biles “brothers and sisters” – siblings “cared for” – supported “started” – began, commenced 5. Add or revise descriptive words and phrases for clarity. “good”- famous, outstanding, highly decorated “a lot” – many, numerous, a collection of .