Volume 20, Number 6 ~ June 2017 Pentecost the Descent of the Spirit The same Spirit descends on everyone so we must work with and for all. Let us live our lives for God’s glory. Fatal Shootings In The Community Of Fresno Diocesan Statement From Bishop Armando X. Ochoa: Call All The Faithful To Prayer, Reflection And Reconciliation In less than two minutes, three lives were taken for no apparent reason beyond an incomprehensible depth of hatred carried in the heart of one man. Scripture states: “Whoever says that he is in the light, yet hates his brother, is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother remains in the light, and there is nothing in him to cause a fall. Whoever hates his brother is in darkness; he walks in darkness and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.” (1 John 2:9-11) Once again, our community is touched by darkness. Family, friends, neighbors and the vast multitude of good and caring people in our community must now decide, once again, how we will respond to this senseless tragedy. We must reflect on what we have experienced and how we feel about it. Anger and outrage are certainly a natural reaction; yet, these feelings must also be experienced as an invitation to prayerful reflection so that our raw feelings do not take hold and lead us into the very darkness we abhor. Let us seize this moment as an opportunity to live as people of light not darkness by rejecting the temptation to hate the hater and embracing the gift of grace that opens hearts to choose love which conquers all evil. With loving concern we pray for the deceased, their families and all who have been deeply affected by this tragic loss of life, that they may find strength, consolation and healing, as we find our place with them on the pathway to peace. We also pray for the conversion of souls that intentionally inflict acts of violence on innocent victims. May their minds and hearts be enlightened and opened to God’s love, mercy and forgiveness; and may we be prepared to walk with them when they seek reconciliation within our community. submitted by Ashlee Wolf, Development & Marketing Coordinator On Tuesday, April 18, the acts of one individual plagued our community in the worst way possible. Three people had their lives taken from them and their families were left with a void that can never be replaced. On behalf of myself, the Board of Directors and staff, we give thanks to the many who have reached out as your prayers, texts and emails mean the world to us and are much needed. It has been said that the victims were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, and that may be true, but that sentiment is particularly heartbreaking considering that two of the victims were here visiting us at Catholic Charities. Our faith and our community’s support are the key things that have gotten us through this tragic time. We are truly blessed to have our Catholic faith to rely upon each day as it gives us strength to move forward. Because of that, we refuse to let this deter us from serving our community because so many families rely on our services. We are the first responders in helping our neighbors in crisis. We are a safe harbor, a place that turns no one away, a place of relief and support and a place of service to our community. We will not let this darkness overshadow the light. Where there is light, there is hope. And that’s what we do here at Catholic Charities – we provide hope to those most vulnerable. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we keep you in ours. For more information on Catholic Charities’ programs and services, or if you would like to make a donation, please contact Kelly Lilles, Executive Director of Catholic Charities at [email protected] or (559) 237-0851 Ext. 1104. Thank you and God bless you all. 2 June 2017 Central California Catholic Life News from the Office of Formation and Evangelization + Noticias de la Oficina de Formación y Evangelización Parish Marriage Prep: Integrating Intentional Formation & Lay Ministry Commissioning Encounter with One’s Spouse, Parish Community and God Rose Hernandez, Director Sr. Joanne Bauer, CSC, Family Life Ministry Coordinator On Saturday, April 29, 2017, sixty-three people were commis- What helps couples create and sustain a happy, holy marriage? Dr. Ve- sioned at the completion of the Lay Formation Institute. Classes ronica Marchese, LMFT, presented a treasure chest of fascinating, in- met once a week for three years, providing advanced formation spirational and practical information that can be used by parish mar- riage prep ministers to improve their ministry in the talk she presented in theology, leadership, and communication. Those commis- at the 2017 Los Angeles Religious Education Congress, “Healthy & Holy sioned are prepared for any position of leadership in the parish, Marriages: Effective Parish Marriage Prep & Beyond”. Drawing upon the and anxious to serve in any capacity. We are proud of the com- research of Dr. John Gottman and Scott Stanley and on her personal ministerial experience, this presenter shared some effective information mitment of time and talent, and of their mission to go forth and that can help parish marriage prep ministers in their ministries. Re- serve God’s People! Congratulations! search tells us that 90% of couples marry at least once and that the ma- jority receive some form of marriage preparation. The Catholic Church El Sábado, 29 de Abril, 2017, sesenta y tres personas fueron co- is a leader in this area. misionadas por la finalización en el Instituto de Formación para Dr. Marchese, a 25 year veteran of Laicos. La clase se reunió una vez a la semana durante tres marriage preparation, stated that 80% of research indicates that an años, proporcionando formación avanzada en teología, lideraz- integrated approach of education go, y comunicación. Aquellos comisionados están preparadas and encounter within the parish para cualquier posición de liderazgo en la parroquia, y ansiosos setting can be highly effective for marriage and family life. This ef- de servir en cualquier capacidad. ¡Estamos orgullos del compro- fectiveness is highest within the miso de tiempo y talento, y de su misión para ir hacia adelante y first five years of marriage. To servir al pueblo de Dios! ¡Felicidades! start, we need to meet people where they are and encourage them to grow—a process known as “gradualness in pastoral care”. Parishes usually draw upon three forms of marriage preparation; these forms can also be used for marriage enrichment: Inventories (one piece of the puzzle), classes & workshops and retreats, such as engaged en- counter. Through the use of inventory tools such as “Prep” (used by couples only), “Prepare/Enrich” or “Focus”, (Both of these tools are effective for the couple – parish encounter. ), a marriage prep minister can help couples so that they do not take for granted or dismiss the value of certain indicators in their relationship. For instance, there are key indicators a person can learn to recognize in oneself, reflect on, and in so doing, better relate to the partner. Several key indica- tors are: criticism, defensiveness, contempt (loss of respect), stonewalling (shutting down). The most serious of these is contempt of the other. The marriage prep minister needs to help the couple become aware of what feelings are happening and to realize that these feelings are not meaningless, but rather they are a gift to help the couple to deal with the situation. Rather than dismissing the feeling/word/action, the person needs to reflect on what is happening. The minister needs to help the person to find an antidote to deal with that aspect of conflict between the couple. Parishes can offer its “arm of support” to engaged couples, for instance, by creating a blessing ceremony for the couple within the parish setting, (such as at a liturgical celebration), or by asking for prayers for the cou- ple in the parish bulletin and in other ways. A stressful time that generates the lowest source of satisfaction for a couple, research tells us, is at the time of becoming parents. While there is much joy, there can also be anxiety and sleepless nights during the early days of the baby’s infancy. Why not provide a half day retreat for the couple or another kind of ongoing enrichment tailored to meet their needs? Parishes can also provide important online and library resources to nurture couples throughout the various stages of their mar- ried lives. We know that there is no “one size fits all” for a spouse or for a marriage. There must be targeted support for couples in distress. Today, research shows us that the greatest need of couples seems to be getting through rough times, relying on helps like professional counsel- ing or organizations such as Retrou- vaille. One example of how the parish can offer practical assistance to these “at risk” marriages is by providing a class that helps “first responders.” What does this mean? We know that people Are you or someone you know will seek help through other family interested in World Youth Day members or close friends before they 2019 in Panama? Are you will go to other sources. The parish can offer assistance to these first re- planning on organizing a sponders. The intent is not to try to make these responders into coun- group from your parish to at- selors, but to teach them skills that will help them in their listening and tend? companionship to a spouse or couple.