Imani WEDDING FOR TODAY’S CARIBBEAN AND AFRICAN-AMERICAN COUPLE Dressed to thrill! Going traditional, Afrocentric or both Exploring ancient traditions Budget for the big day PUBLISHED BY Featuring The Largest Selection Of Medium, Wide & Extra Wide Widths Sizes 4 to 13 PUBLISHER Clifford Luster EDITOR Vince Dimecili VP OF ADVERTISING Ralph D’Onofrio PRODUCTION MANAGER Keith Oechsner MAGAZINE/SECTIONS MANAGER On Man Tse PRODUCTION STAFF Arthur Arutyunov Yvonne Farley Lorens Morris-Rawlins Table of Contents EDITORIAL STAFF Meredith Deliso 2 Wedding culture 18 Your wedding glossary ADVERTISING SALES A look at marriage rituals Essential terms you need to know Michael Babwar and traditions in Africa Jeanne Eisenhardt 20 Shopping tips Andrew Mark Jay Pelc 4 Jump the broom for the groom Anil Ramharack Find a way to incorporate this Look like a million bucks on your big day Stephanie Stellaccio tradition into your ceremony 22 Budgeting your wedding ADMINITRATIVE COORDINATOR Brian Williams 6 Dressed to thrill Financial planning is the Go traditional or Afrocentric key to an unforgettable event IMANI WEDDING in your clothing – or both Published by 24 Inviting your 8 Set it off with guests in style these accents Everything you need to Caribbean Life/CNG The right accessories know about your accouncement 1 MetroTech Center North 10th Floor will make you queen for a day Brooklyn, NY 11201 26 Know your ‘4C’s’ 718.250.2500 10 Princess bride You better shop around The right headpiece before buying a diamond Imani WEDDING can be your crowning glory FOR TODAY’S CARIBBEAN AND AFRICAN-AMERICAN COUPLE 28 Top 10 proposal Dressed 12 Wedding planner mistakes to thrill! checklist What you need to know Going traditional, Afrocentric or both What to do and when to before popping the question Exploring do it from beginning to end ancient traditions 30 Making your Budget 14 Catering to your needs dream home for the Pick a date and find the Compromise is the key to a big day PUBLISHED BY right reception hall happy marriage and living together Cover photo and table of contents photo by: 16 10 tips for your nuptials 32 Planning your getaway John Bayley Photography Don’t be clueless when it Expert advice translates Website: www.johnbayleyphotography.com comes to your perfect day to a successful honeymoon 2011 IMANI Wedding Guide 1 TRADITIONS Wedding culture A look at marriage rituals and traditions in Africa frica is rich in cultural traditions, especially wedding and marriage rituals. The people of Africa celebrate the bond- Aing of a woman and a man in a variety of ways, from being courted by cousins to kidnapping the bride-to-be. Explore the many ways Africans celebrate marriage. • Karo: The Karo people of Ethiopia cel- • Masai: Marriages are also arranged ebrate a young bride’s puberty with scarifi- among the Masai of Kenya, and often the cation. Cuts are made on her abdomen, and brides are matched with older men that they ashes are then massaged into the scars in do not know. The father of the bride spits his order to promote healing. The wounds are blessing for the couple on the bride’s head supposed to enhance the bride’s desirability. and breasts, and as she departs, she does not • Swahili: Marriages are arranged in the look back, fearing the myth that she will turn Swahili tribe of Kenya. Before the ceremony, to stone. One Masai custom is for female a number of rituals intended to enhance relatives of the groom to insult the bride in the bride’s attraction are performed. She order to ward off bad luck. is bathed in oils and sandalwood, and has • Himba: Among the Himba, the groom henna designs temporarily tattooed on her and members of his family kidnap the bride limbs. A somo, an elder woman of the tribe, before the ceremony, and decorate her in an instructs the bride how to please her hus- ekori, a marriage headdress made of leather. band, and may even hide under the bed in When the bride arrives at her husband’s new case there is a problem consummating the home, his relatives tell her what her responsi- marriage. bilities as his wife will be, and they show her their acceptance into their family by anoint- ing her with butterfat from cows. • Wodaabe: Their cousins, who wear what they consider to be their most powerful amulet to heighten their charm for the bride- to-be, typically court women of the Wodaabe tribe of Niger. Often, male cousins who are close to one another are attracted to the same girl. Once the bride-to-be selects her mate, the cousin who was not chosen is still welcomed into their home, and if the bride consents, their bed. • Ndebele: Weddings of the Ndebele of South Africa are celebrated in three stages, the end of which can take several years. The first stage is negotiation of the wedding and payment for the bride, or lobola, which is paid in installments of money and livestock. A two-week sequestration of the bride is the second stage, during which time other women teach the bride how to be a good wife. The third stage is completed only when Photo by John Bayley Photography www.johnbayleyphotography.com the bride has her first child. 2 IMANI Wedding Guide 2011 2011 IMANI Wedding Guide 3 TRADITIONS Jump the broom Find a way to incorporate this tradition into your ceremony room jumping has become one of the most Bpopular African tradi- tions at weddings — traditional and African-centered. Since slaves could not legally marry, they created their own rituals to honor their unions. Some say broom jumping comes from an African tribal marriage ritual of placing sticks on the ground, which repre- sents the couple’s new home. The jumping of the broom is a symbol of sweeping away the old and welcoming the new, or a symbol of a new beginning. Today, the ceremony can be performed at the wedding after the minister pronounces the couple man and wife, or at the reception just after the bridal party enters the reception area. Performing a broom jumping the ceremony. This allows the audience to ceremony participate, which is in keeping with the A fully decorated broom can African tradition of community involvement. be purchased at ethnic stores, or Have your host ask guests to form a circle a regular household broom will around you as you and your partner stand in suffice. Broom sizes will vary, front of the broom on the floor. but it doesn’t matter which you The host should discuss the symbolism choose. If you decide to use behind the broom as it relates to the joining your own broom and decorate it of the couple and the combining of two fami- yourself, be sure it coordinates lies, and the need for the community to sup- with your wedding colors. Using port the couple. Meanwhile, have the couple your own broom can also be a hold the broom handle together and sweep great bonding activity for the around in a circle until the host or designated bridesmaids perhaps the night, person is finished talking. or week before the wedding. The groom should then place the broom Feel free to use bows, flowers on the floor and hold the bride’s hand. (artificial or real), or other trin- Have everyone count “1, 2, 3, Jump!” kets to make it unique, but don’t For more information about broom jump- overdo it. You’ll probably ing, check out Harriette Cole’s want this for a keepsake in “Jumping the Broom: The your home. You could also African-American Wedding have a basket full of ribbon Planner” and “Jumping the pieces at the wedding or Broom: Wedding Workbook.” reception and allow guests It’s an excellent resource for to tie ribbons around the anyone planning a wedding tradi- broom before you begin tional or African-centered. 4 IMANI Wedding Guide 2011 SERVING THE TRI-STATE AREA FOR 75 YEARS. The finest in floral designs that will add an extra touch of flair to make your special day more memorable! 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Depending on or African-inspired attire, you must first decide African ceremonial occasions. The most com- the time of day and the time of year of the cer- how African you want your clothing and mon choice of ensemble is a dashiki suit — emony, choose colors suggestive of the sunset, ceremony to be. Do you just want to wear an consisting of a loose tunic-like shirt and wide- for example, or of autumn. African garment in a Christian ceremony, or legged pants worn under an agbada (a large Afrocentric gowns or wraps need not be do you want all the accessories and rituals to robe) with a hat, all made out of the same fab- limited to prints and colors.