100 1 Troilus and Cressida ABRIDGED Written by William Shakespeare Edited by Dan Schuster 2 99 98 3 TROILUS Hence, broker-lackey! Ignomy and shame Pursue thy life, and live aye with thy name! Exit TROILUS; THERSITES enters and goes back to pillaging the two bodies PANDARUS A goodly medicine for my aching bones! O world! William Shakespeare’s World! World! Thus is the poor agent despised! O traitors and bawds, how earnestly are you set a-work, and how ill requited! Why should our endeavour be so loved and the performance so loathed? What verse for it? What instance for it? Let me see: ‘Full merrily the humble-bee doth sing, Till he hath lost his honey and his sting; And being once subdued in armed tail, Sweet honey and sweet notes together fail.’ Good traders in the flesh, set this in your painted cloths. As many as be here of pander's hall, Your eyes, half out, weep out at Pandar's fall; Troilus Or if you cannot weep, yet give some groans, Though not for me, yet for your aching bones. and Brethren and sisters of the hold-door trade, Some two months hence my will shall here be made: It should be now, but that my fear is this, Some galled goose of Winchester would hiss: Cressida Till then I'll sweat and seek about for eases, And at that time bequeathe you my diseases. Exit PANDARUS and THERSITES together Edited by Dan Schuster The Wichita Shakespeare Co. 4 97 ACHILLES Troilus and Cressida The dragon wing of night o'erspreads the earth, Dramatis Personae And, stickler-like, the armies separates. My half-supp'd sword, that frankly would have fed, PRIAM, King of Troy Pleased with this dainty bait, thus goes to bed. ACHILLES sheathes his sword and exits followed by AJAX, and His sons: DIOMEDES; TROILUS enters and discovers the body of HECTOR HECTOR; he kneels next to the body; enter AENEAS and TROILUS PANDARUS PARIS AENEAS Stand, ho! Yet are we masters of the field: Trojans: Never go home; here starve we out the night. AENEAS, a Trojan commander CALCHAS, a Trojan priestess, taking part with the Greeks TROILUS PANDARUS, uncle to Cressida Hector is slain. ANDROMACHE, wife to Hector PANDARUS CASSANDRA, daughter to Priam, a prophetess Hector! The gods forbid! CRESSIDA, daughter to Calchas ALEXANDRA, servant to Cressida TROILUS Frown on, you heavens, effect your rage with speed! AGAMEMNON, the Greek general Sit, gods, upon your thrones, and smile at Troy! I say, at once let your brief plagues be mercy, Greeks: And linger not our sure destructions on! ACHILLES, the greatest of the Greek warriors Hector is gone: AJAX, a Greek warrior Who shall tell Priam so, or Hecuba? ULYSSES, a Greek commander Let him that will a screech-owl aye be call'd, NESTOR, the oldest of the Greek commanders Go in to Troy, and say there, Hector's dead: DIOMEDES, a Greek commander There is a word will Priam turn to stone; PATROCLUS, a Greek warrior Make Niobes of the maids and wives, THERSITES, a deformed and scurrilous Greek Cold statues of the youth, and, in a word, HELEN, living in Troy with Paris Scare Troy out of itself; there is no more to say. You vile abominable tents, Thus proudly pight upon our Phrygian plains, Let Titan rise as early as he dare, I'll through and through you! And, thou Achilles, No space of earth shall sunder our two hates; I'll haunt thee like a wicked conscience still, That mouldeth goblins swift as frenzy's thoughts. Strike a free march to Troy! With comfort go: Hope of revenge shall hide our inward woe. Exeunt AENEAS PANDARUS But hear you, hear you! 96 5 TROILUS O traitor Diomed! Turn thy false face, thou traitor, Troilus and Cressida And pay thy life thou owest me! List of scenes AJAX ACT I Page I'll fight with him alone: stand, Diomed. Prologue Prologue 7 DIOMEDES He is my prize; I will not look upon. Scene 1 Troy. Before Priam's palace. 8 TROILUS Scene 2 The Same. A street. 11 Come, both you cogging Greeks; have at you both! Enter HECTOR; he observes the end of the fight as TROILUS Scene 3 The Grecian camp. Before Agamemnon's tent. 18 exits followed by AJAX and DIOMEDES. ACT II HECTOR Yea, Troilus? O, well fought, my youngest brother! Scene 1 A part of the Grecian camp. 25 Now is my day's work done; I'll take good breath: Scene 2 Troy. A room in Priam's palace. 29 Rest, sword; thou hast thy fill of blood and death. Puts off his helmet and hangs his shield behind him; enter Scene 3 The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent. 34 ACHILLES ACT III ACHILLES Look, Hector, how the sun begins to set; Scene 1 Troy. Priam's palace. 43 How ugly night comes breathing at his heels: Scene 2 The same. Pandarus' orchard. 47 Even with the vail and darking of the sun, To close the day up, Hector's life is done. Scene 3 The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent. 52 HECTOR ACT IV I am unarm'd; forego this vantage, Greek. ACHILLES Scene 1 Troy. A street. 61 So, Ilion, fall thou next! Scene 2 The same. Court of Pandarus' house. 63 ACHILLES slashes HECTOR’s throat from behind; HECTOR dies Scene 5 The Grecian camp. Lists set out. 72 Now, Troy, sink down! Here lies thy heart, thy sinews, and thy bone. ACT V On, Grecians, and cry you all amain, 'Achilles hath the mighty Hector slain.' Scene 1 The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent. 81 A retreat sounded Scene 2 The same. Before Calchas' tent. 83 Hark! A retire upon our Grecian part. Enter AJAX and DIOMEDES Scene 3 Troy. Before Priam's palace. 89 DIOMEDES Scene 4 Plains between Troy and the Grecian camp. 94 The Trojan trumpets sound the like, my lord. 6 95 THERSITES No, no, I am a rascal; a scurvy railing knave; a very filthy rogue. HECTOR I do believe thee: live. THERSITES God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me; but a plague break thy neck for frightening me! Exit THERSITES; HECTOR approaches PATROCLUS and grabs hold of the body HECTOR Most putrefied core, so fair without, Thy goodly armour thus hath cost thy life. HECTOR puts body down; ACHILLES enters and sees the very end of this; HECTOR exits; ACHILLES approaches body of PATROCLUS; he kneels, cradling him; wailing. ACHILLES Where is this Hector? Come, come, thou boy-queller, show thy face! Know what it is to meet Achilles angry: ACT I Hector? Where's Hector? I will none but Hector! ULYSSES has entered and viewed this activity unobserved. ACHILLES exits. A satisfied smirk is on ULYSSES face as AJAX and DIOMEDES enter from opposite ends. ULYSSES O, courage, courage, princes! Great Achilles Is arming, weeping, cursing, vowing vengeance: Patroclus' wounds have roused his drowsy blood. Exeunt ULYSSES AJAX Troilus, thou coward Troilus, show thy head! DIOMEDES Troilus, I say! Where's Troilus? AJAX What wouldst thou? DIOMEDES I would correct him. Enter TROILUS 94 7 SCENE IV. Plains between Troy and the PROLOGUE Grecian camp. THERSITES Alarums; enter THERSITES In Troy, there lies the scene. From isles of Greece THERSITES The princes orgulous, their high blood chafed, Now they are clapper-clawing one another; I'll go Have to the port of Athens sent their ships, look on. That dissembling abominable varlet Diomed, Fraught with the ministers and instruments has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave's Of cruel war: sixty and nine, from the Athenian bay glove of Troy there on his hand; I would fain see Put forth toward Phrygia; and their vow is made them meet; that that same young Trojan ass, that To ransack Troy, within whose strong immures loves the whore there, might send that Greekish The ravish'd Helen, Menelaus' queen, whore-masterly villain, with the glove, back to the With wanton Paris sleeps; and that's the quarrel. dissembling luxurious drab. To Tenedos they come; Soft! Here comes glove, and t'other. And the deep-drawing barks do there disgorge Enter DIOMEDES, TROILUS following Their warlike fraughtage: now on Dardan plains The fresh and yet unbruised Greeks do pitch TROILUS Their brave pavilions: Priam's six-gated city, Fly not; for shouldst thou take the river Styx, With massy staples and corresponsive and fulfilling bolts, I would swim after. Sperr up the sons of Troy. Now expectation, tickling skittish spirits, DIOMEDES On one and other side, Trojan and Greek, Thou dost miscall retire: Sets all on hazard: and hither am I come I do not fly, but advantageous care A prologue arm'd, to tell you, fair beholders, that our play Withdrew me from the odds of multitude: Leaps o'er the vaunt and firstlings of those broils, Have at thee! Beginning in the middle, starting thence away THERSITES To what may be digested in a play. Hold thy whore, Grecian!--Now for thy whore, Like or find fault; do as your pleasures are: Trojan!--Now the glove, now the glove! Now good or bad, 'tis but the chance of war. Exeunt TROILUS and DIOMEDES, fighting; enter ULYSSES; PATROCLUS enters from tent. THERSITES hides as they enter. PATROCLUS bumps into ULYSSES; startled, he turns to face ULYSSES; PATROCLUS laughs, relieved to see his ally. ULYSSES beckons PATROCLUS to him; as PATROCLUS approaches, ULYSSES stabs him with a dagger. PATROCLUS looks at ULYSSES with a look of betrayal and dies. With a look of satisfaction, ULYSSES exits.