WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE DAVID MERCK Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations in this publication are from the New King James Version. TABLE OF CONTENTS PREFACE Page: INTRODUCTION 2 PART ONE - GOD'S ELECTING OR CHOOSING LOVE 3 PART TWO - GOD'S COMMON OR GENERAL LOVE 11 PART THREE - GOD'S LOVE OF DELIGHT OR COMPLACENCY CHAPTER ONE - WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? 18 CHAPTER TWO - SHOULD WE IMITATE IT? 27 CHAPTER THREE - THE GREAT DIVIDE 32 CHAPTER FOUR - HOW DO WE MANIFEST LOATHING HATRED? 33 CHAPTER FIVE - HOW DO WE SHOW DELIGHTING LOVE? 39 CHAPTER SIX - WHAT SHOULD MOTIVATE US? 41 CHAPTER SEVEN - A MATTER OF DEGREES 47 CHAPTER EIGHT - WICKED FORMS OF LOATHING HATRED 50 CHAPTER NINE - OTHER GODLY FORMS OF DELIGHT IN MEN: 54 UNIT ONE - IN ALL MEN ON EARTH UNIT TWO - IN OUR CHILDREN UNIT THREE - IN OUR SPOUSE CHAPTER TEN - FURTHER QUALIFICATIONS 68 CONCLUSION 71 PREFACE The materials contained in this study, with some editing, reflect the contents of ten sermons preached at the Reformed Baptist Church of Grand Rapids, MI, during the spring and summer of 1995. It is my hope and prayer that this study of the biblical materials regarding a popular theme of our day will be of much help to the people of God and others in forming their thinking according to the righteous and true mind of God, rather than according to the fancies of fallible and sinful men. January, 1996 2 WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE INTRODUCTION The subject of unconditional love is one which regularly confronts us from all directions. The ungodly world around us frequently talks about unconditional love. When the Hollywood movie, "Forest Gump" won an Oscar for best picture at the Academy Awards, one of its producers, Steve Tisch, was quoted as saying the following as he accepted the award: . Forrest Gump isn't about politics or conservative values. It's about humanity, it's about respect, tolerance, and unconditional love.(1) (bold added) The terminology of unconditional love can be traced to those involved in humanistic psychology and counselling. Martin and Deidre Bobgan write the following analysis as Christians questioning this perspective: Self-Esteem is a high-lighted buzz word of need psychology, along with the words unconditional love.(2) (bold added) Later on, the Bobgans continue: Among the stellar emotional needs of humanistic psychology are unconditional acceptance (by others), unconditional self-regard, unconditional self-acceptance, and unconditional love. The usual meaning of the word unconditional is `without conditions or reservations; absolute.' The practical extension of the theories of unconditional love is a permissive attitude and a morally nonrestrictive atmosphere. That means no conditions or restrictions in child rearing, counseling, and other human relationships. Adler and Maslow (humanistic psychologists) considered these `unconditionals' to be basic human needs, essential to a person's sense of well-being. They taught that people need to be loved and accepted unconditionally - without any conditions of performance. Adler, Maslow, Rogers and others believed that a human being will find answers to his own dilemmas and naturally blossom into his best self in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance, by which they meant a permissive, unstructured atmosphere. The idea of people improving their life in an atmosphere of unconditional love is founded on the premise that people are born good and that their natural inclination to goodness is thwarted by their environment (mainly parents). In such a system, self is the victim of society but finds salvation, freedom, and fulfillment through unconditional self-love and self-acceptance. Unconditional love cannot be based upon performance or it wouldn't be unconditional. Therefore, it must be based on the intrinsic worth of the person. .(3) Now the well-instructed Christian immediately recognizes a number of serious errors in this teaching of the humanistic psychologists and others. For the humanists are purposefully ignoring the God of burning holiness who has declared that certain behavior is right and good, and certain behavior wrong and evil; and who in a judgmental and restrictive way demands that all men do what is right and good. Furthermore, because of man's fall into sin in the Garden, all men are not born good, but are inherently evil with a bad record and a bad heart from day one. Therefore, man's great need is not to be saved from the negative effects of his environment which inhibit his inherent goodness, or from an incorrectly bad self image. Man's greatest need is to be saved from the guilt and power and penalty of his sin which has alienated him from God and from others. If it was only secular humanists who spoke of unconditional love, this study might be ended fairly quickly. However, psychologists who are professing Christians, and many other well-respected Christian leaders who reject many of the assumptions of the humanists have still continued to use their terminology of unconditional love. Men like Dr. James Dobson speak of man's need for unconditional love. They speak of God as the supreme example and source of such unconditional love. And they tell us that we should show this unconditional love to others around us. Jerry Cook, an assistant pastor in a huge evangelical church in the state of Washington, has written the following in the book Love, Acceptance & Forgiveness which has 140,000 copies in print: 3 The minimal guarantee we must make to people is that they will be loved - always, under every circumstance, with no exception. The second guarantee is that they will be totally accepted, without reservation. We need to extend this love to everyone who comes into our church . .(4) How do we respond to such sweeping pronouncements by Christians? As with any issue, the final word does not lie with the opinions of men, whether they be humanists or those who confess Jesus Christ. The final word is to be found in the Word of God. Thus in this study we will be seeking to carefully search God's Word in order to answer the question, "What does God say about unconditional love?" Is there such a thing? Does God love men this way? Are we to love others this way? When we open our Bibles and study out all the uses of the major words for love, we discover that the answer to this question is not as simple as Pastor Cook's pronouncements might seem to make it. For the Bible confronts us with different degrees or dimensions of love - whether we speak of God's love for men, or of our love for others. Furthermore, when we take up the subject of unconditional love, it is crucial that we carefully define what is meant by the descriptive word, "unconditional", in light of the statements of the Word of God. Since the Scriptures clearly teach that God is love (1 John 4:8 & 16) and the God of love (2 Corinthians 13:11), our study will be structured overall according to the different dimensions of love which God shows to men. As we consider each of these dimensions of God's love, we will also seek to determine what our own duty is to our fellow men. Does God then love men with an unconditional love? The Bible answers that question - not with a "yes", or a "no". As with so many other issues, it answers it with both a "yes" and a "no". For the answer depends upon the dimension of God's love which is in view, and upon the way we define the word "unconditional". The Word of God confronts us with at least three different dimensions or degrees of God's love for men, and we will be focusing upon each one as we proceed. Consider then the first dimension of God's love for men: PART ONE - GOD'S ELECTING OR CHOOSING LOVE When most evangelical Christians talk about God's unconditional love, this aspect of His love could not be further from their minds, for many, if not most deny this aspect altogether. However, it is clearly taught in the Word of God. Please consider with me several elements of God's electing love. The first is: ITS STRIKING REALITY. Here I would direct you to Romans 9:10-13: 10And not, only this, but when Rebecca also had conceived by one man, even by our father Isaac 11(for the children not yet being born, nor having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works but of Him who calls), 12it was said to her, `The older shall serve the younger.' 13As it is written, `Jacob I have loved, but Esau I have hated.' The last verse of this passage speaks with particular forcefulness. The living God declares regarding two brothers that He loved one, Jacob, and hated one, Esau. And this word "hate" is the regular word for "hate". Many Arminian brethren quickly try to dilute the forcefulness of these words by declaring that God here was talking about His temporal blessings upon Jacob as unfolded in the nation of Israel - temporal blessings in which Esau and his offspring did not share. However, although there is an element of truth in this explanation, it is not the whole truth. For these twin brothers are not used here to illustrate the difference in the earthly fortunes of two nations. They instead are used to illustrate the different eternal, spiritual fortunes of two groups of mankind. Chapter nine begins with Paul expressing his great sorrow and unceasing grief for his unconverted fellow Israelites - so much so that he would be willing to be cursed himself eternally if they might be saved (verses 1-3).