® A publication of the American Philological Association Vol. 7 • Issue 2 • Fall 2008 THE GOOD HUMOR MAN: Book Review: Lavinia A CLASSICIST AT HALLMARK by Janey Bennett by Wilfred E. Major Ursula LeGuin. Lavinia. New York: Har- court, 2008. Pp. 280. Hardcover. $24.00. nthusiasts of Greek and Roman ISBN 978-0151014248. Eantiquity frequently rejoice in the many signs that classical culture is alive and well in today’s world, from uppose for a moment you are a novel- movies and books to documentaries and Sist, a writer of imagination. Somebody monumental architecture. More fleet- hands you an outline for a story and says, ing, light-hearted bequests from ancient “Flesh this out for me, please.” It is an Greece and Rome – a comic strip featur- appealing idea. When that somebody is ing puns about pre-Socratic philosophy, a greeting card sporting Roman soldiers Vergil and you are an author of fantasy fiction of the caliber of Ursula LeGuin, the on the march or monks reading a manu- Fig. 1. Emmons’ work, Myth-Demeanors: script – are especially likely to occasion Twisted Tales of Ancient Greece, illus- task will be fascinating, the result a delight. delight. But do we ever consider who is trated by Chris Harding, combines his Vergil introduced the character of responsible for these unexpected talent for writing humor and his passion Lavinia in Book 7 of the Aeneid. She is the reminders of the ancient world? Cer- for classical antiquity. Image source: daughter and only surviving child of King tainly Classics is popular enough that http://www.wordchowder.com and Latinus, the aged ruler of peaceful Latium, cartoonists and card-writers are bound to © 2006 Hallmark Licensing, Inc. employ classical references on occasion. and of his queen, Amata, driven mad by Still, is it possible that sometimes a them for more than a decade. As a mem- the Fury Allecto (or, in LeGuin’s version, Classicist is lurking out there, tapping ber of the dedicated humor staff at Hall- just driven by fury). Lavinia’s story is quick- away on our funny bones in dactylic mark, he composes humorous verse for ly sketched in the second half of the hexameter? Could there be a profes- cards, books, and more (see Fig. 1). It is Aeneid: promised in marriage to Aeneas sionally educated Classicist who has not a job where his creativity, passion for against her mother’s wishes but with her just an erudite wit but who is actually humor, and classical education all blend just plain funny? together. Humor has been a passion and father’s approval in accordance with signs Meet Scott Emmons. Even with a languages an interest all of Emmons’ and divinations, she waits in silence as the Ph.D. in Classical Studies, he can tell a life. He studied Spanish and French volatile Turnus of Rutulia and Aeneas go to joke. In fact, he creates jokes and tells early on, but it was an inspiring humani- war for her hand. When Aeneas kills Tur- them so well in both prose and poetry ties teacher who set him on the path to nus on the battlefield, his marriage to that he has been making a living from continued on page 2 Lavinia secures the Trojans’ right to settle in Book Review: “A Book of Hours: The 2009 Outreach Panel: Italy and the eventual fusion of Trojan and Music, Literature, Life, “Podcasting and the Classics” . 13 Latin blood to form the Roman nation. And A Memoir” . 3 Ask A Classicist. 14 that’s about it for Vergil’s Lavinia. PLAYING WITH KNIVES: ON TRANSLAT- ING MARTIAL’S EPIGRAMS . 4 “BARBARIANS, ALIENS, FRONTIERS” What Vergil left undone in the Aeneid, THE FIFTH ANNUAL Ursula LeGuin has taken upon herself to WHY READ SENECA The Younger? . 6 INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL OF LATIN AND GREEK . 16 complete. LeGuin’s Lavinia assesses Vergil Book Review: “Gods Behaving Badly” . 7 Poetry . 18 succinctly: “He gave me a long life, but a small one” (4). Lavinia herself is intensely ALEXANDER’S MERMAID: PLUMBING FIEC, THE WORLDWIDE CLASSICS THE MURKY DEPTHS OF A MYTH . 8 ORGANIZATION, IS sixty. 18 aware of Vergil’s treatment of her. “The WHAT IS HOMER DOING IN Book Review: “Ad Infinitum: events I remember only come to exist as I “THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS”? . 10 A Biography of Latin” . 20 write them, or as he wrote them. But he did Inside Did You Know . 11 capital campaign news . 20 not write them. He slighted my life, in his The Committee on ancient and Review: “Latinum: The Online Latin poem” (3). And so she tells us she must set Modern Performance . 11 Learning Audiocourse from down the details of her story, of her view- London” . 22 FROM AORISTS AND ANAPESTS TO point of the events, her betrothal and the GOSPEL GLORY: CLASSICAL DRAMA IN GUIDELINES FOR PHILADELPHIA . 12 CONTRIBUTORS . 24 continued on page 17 THE GOOD HUMOR MAN: A CLASSICIST AT HALLMARK continued from page 1 classics, by introducing him to ancient Greek achievements in literature, art, and philosophy. Emmons’ curiosity about languages led him to study Greek, major in Classics at Northwest- Fig. 2. Emmons’ Pandora ern University, and go on to graduate releases a combination of work at Indiana University. There he ancient and modern wrote a dissertation on how the historian plagues. Myth-Demeanors: Herodotus uses experimental methods Twisted Tales of Ancient pioneered by the pre-Socratic philoso- Greece is illustrated by phers. And to this day, reports Emmons, Chris Harding. Image he continues to enjoy reading Latin and source: http://www.word Greek. chowder.com and © 2006 After completing his Ph.D. in 1990, a Hallmark Licensing, Inc. traditional academic career seemed to be Dr. Emmons’ destiny, but his abid- ing love of writing humor still needed a two Hallmark gift books of funny poetry, Out flew every foul affliction: place in his life. Besides, the financial War and famine, drug addiction, benefits proved too compelling to resist. Christmas Unwrapped and Get Your Gray On. More recently, his background in Not to mention static cling “If I remember correctly, I got two dol- And weak domestic beers, lars,” he recalls now of the windfall from academe and classics came to the fore again. Through a sabbatical program at Paper cuts and pigeon droppings, his first humor publication, “but it was a ‘Fun and different’ pizza toppings, start,” he adds, and indeed it was. Pick- Hallmark, he spent a month in Greece, Ragweed pollen, freezer burn, ing up jobs such as writing jokes for Bob visiting and contemplating how to trans- And songs by Britney Spears. Thaves’ Frank & Ernest comic strip and late the glory that is Greece into funny Finger quotes and diet soda, one-liners for radio DJs, in 1993 he rhymes. The result is Myth-Demeanors: Yappy dogs that look like Yoda, joined Hallmark full time and has been Twisted Tales of Ancient Greece (samples Poison ivy, hanging chads, And insufficient RAM, working for them ever since. can be read online at http://www.word chowder.com). Dr. Emmons’ unique Morning people, rising taxes, In addition to a career that is person- Men who get bikini waxes, ally fulfilling, his training in classics has talent and experience mean that this is not just another retelling of popular Paparazzi, shedding cats, brought distinct benefits. He describes And either kind of SPAM! it this way: “A classical education not Greek myths. “While other authors aim only teaches you a lot about language, it to preserve the myths for yet another generation, my objective is to see just Many of the most famous Greek myths, also gives you great mental discipline. not to mention tragedies, are not only Both have helped me a lot in my career. how much punishment they can take. Through tortured metaphors, forced twisted but grim and dominated by Writing humor can be very hard, and it accounts of suffering and pain. “For helps to have the patience and self- rhymes, and overblown rhetoric, I have attempted to do to the Greek myths whatever reason, the Greeks seem to critical impulse that I developed when have known an astonishing amount working on a Ph.D. in Classics. Early in what Apollo did to Marsyas,” he says. As the climactic reference to Apollo’s flay- about pain. If we bear in mind that the my Hallmark career I discovered (some- Greeks also invented geometry, it what to my surprise) that one of my ing of the poor satyr Marsyas indicates, Emmons’ writing veers between the becomes clear that much of this pain greatest strengths was humorous verse. was self-inflicted,” Emmons points out My classical education fed right into breezy contemporary and pointed refer- ences to classical antiquity. His intro- as explanation. But what is a humor that. I came to it with an understanding writer to do when trying to make light of meter that most humor writers don't duction to the god Poseidon toys with these two extremes: of a tale as grim as that of Oedipus and have, at least not at the beginning. On a and when he knows that the riddle of more general level, my classical back- Poseidon, the glorious lord of the the Sphinx is not quite “What walks on ground is so much a part of me that I ocean, four legs in the morning, two legs in the can't imagine living without it. Lan- Is known by his trident and his afternoon, and three legs in the guage is obviously important to me as a swimmer’s physique, evening?” as it is often quoted? In “The writer, and my knowledge of Greek and As well as his epithet, “totally gnarly,” Tragedy of Oedipus or Confessions of a Latin etymologies and syntax informs Which sounds more impressive when Drama King,” Emmons renders Oedi- my whole experience of language.