Northern Michigan University NMU Commons All NMU Master's Theses Student Works 2011 THE COLLECTED LETTERS AND UNPUBLISHED WRITINGS OF KARIN PANKREEZ, NOVELIST ASPIRANT Jason Shrontz Northern Michigan University Follow this and additional works at: https://commons.nmu.edu/theses Recommended Citation Shrontz, Jason, "THE COLLECTED LETTERS AND UNPUBLISHED WRITINGS OF KARIN PANKREEZ, NOVELIST ASPIRANT" (2011). All NMU Master's Theses. 505. https://commons.nmu.edu/theses/505 This Open Access is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Works at NMU Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in All NMU Master's Theses by an authorized administrator of NMU Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected],[email protected]. THE COLLECTED LETTERS AND UNPUBLISHED WRITINGS OF KARIN PANKREEZ, NOVELIST ASPIRANT By Jason Shrontz THESIS Submitted to Northern Michigan University In partial fulfillment of the requirements For the degree of MASTER OF FINE ARTS Graduate Studies Office 2011 SIGNATURE OF APPROVAL FORM This thesis by Jason Shrontz is recommended for approval by the student’s Thesis Committee and Department Head in the Department of English and by the Associate Provost and Dean of Graduate Studies. Committee Chair: Dr. Stephen Burn Date First Reader: Dr. Lee Siegel Date Second Reader: Rebecca Johns Trissler Date Department Head: Dr. Raymond Ventre Date Dean of Graduate Studies: Dr. Terrance L Seethoff Date OLSON LIBRARY NORTHERN MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY THESIS DATA FORM In order to catalog your thesis properly and enter a record in the OCLC international bibliographic data base, Olson Library must have the following requested information to distinguish you from others with the same or similar names and to provide appropriate subject access for other researchers. NAME: Jason Shrontz DATE OF BIRTH: December 21, 1979 ABSTRACT THE COLLECTED LETTERS AND UNPUBLISHED WRITINGS OF KARIN PANKREEZ, NOVELIST ASPIRANT By Jason Shrontz This novel contains the story of Karin Pankreez, an aspiring writer who gets caught up in the shady scheming of Bunsen Publishing representative, B. Hart, and his prized novelist, Finn Fien. When Karin is framed for the arson of the Baelb Library, he must prove his innocence by crafting a new narrative, one that exists in the world as much as it does on the page. With the help of an aging, obscure novelist, Karin begins blending fact and fiction to create a story in which he emerges as the hero. The novel is an exploration in storytelling, not as concerned with the narratives we write as it is with the narratives we create for each person we meet. It explores the defining qualities that places, memories, and mass media have on our lives, from the lies we intend to tell to the lies that just seem to slip out. Furthermore, the novel examines the defining nature of naming, in particular, the expectations or narratives we create when we give, or are given, a name. i Copyright by Jason Shrontz 2011 ii DEDICATION For Stacey and Beatrice iii ACKNOWLEDGMENT The author would like to thank Stephen Burn for his friendship, as well as his wisdom and devotion to this project. His guidance and careful reading have challenged me often throughout my graduate work, allowing me to grow as a writer and critic. Additionally, I’d like to thank Lee Siegel for his inspiration and encouragement. His advice and sense of humor have constantly helped this project to feel manageable. I’d also like to thank various members of the English Department for their support, particularly John Smolens, Kate Myers Hanson, and Rebecca Johns Trissler. This thesis follows the format prescribed by the MLA Style Guide and the Department of English. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction………………………………………………………………….…………….1 Epigraph…………………………………………………………………………………..13 Chapter 0: Before the Beginning……………………………………….………………….14 Chapter 1: Chapters 1……………………………………………………………………..18 Chapter 2: The (non-metaphorically) Long Walk Home……………………………….….19 Chapter 3: I Had Helped Her Pack……………………………………………..…………28 Chapter 49: In the Middle, Somewhere……………………………………………………34 Chapter 4: Things I Wish I Had Said to Anna as She Was Leaving, Besides, “Anna. Fuck. What—”……………………………………..44 Chapter 5: Shelved in the Wrong Section………………………………………….………51 Chapter 6: Like a Message from God……………………………………………………...58 Chapter 7: An Analysis of Handwriting………………………………………………........69 Chapter 8: I.O.U…………………………………………………………………………..74 Chapter 9: Four Too Many Characters……………………………………………………75 Chapter 10: I Don’t See the Problem with That…………………………………………...79 Chapter 11: An Ubiquitous Feeling………………………………………………..………87 Chapter 12: And When I Woke Up She Was Gone……………………………….………96 Chapter 13: Love, Then…………………………………………………………………...97 Chapter 14: Lies, Lies, Lies………………………………………………………………103 Chapter 15: Love is a Poison Cup………………………………………………………..109 Chapter 16: Then I Told Claire That I Loved Her……………………………………….116 Chapter 17: An Abstraction……………………………………………………………...122 v Chapter 18: A Different Proposal…………………………………………………….….125 Chapter 19: The Seemingly Never-Ending Valentine’s Day, of which our Protagonist has yet to Acknowledge………….……………………………142 Chapter 20: A Determined Proposal…………………………………………………..…150 Chapter 21: An Electronic Conversation……………………………………....…………155 Chapter 22: Mrs. Pankreez…………………………………………………………….…171 Chapter 23: The Slow Business of Busses…………...……………………………….…...178 Chapter 24: The Old Man and the Monuments……………………………………..……183 Chapter 25: The Indoor City and Ultra-Green Hostel……………………………………194 Chapter 26: Abby Bertreb………………………………………………………..………199 Chapter 27: Karin, A Delusional Knight in Several Parts……………………………...…210 Chapter 28: An Account of Heretofore Pertinent Matters……………………………..…262 Chapter 29: The Clichéd New Start…………………………………………………...…272 Chapter 30: Had I Been Tipped Off……………………………….…………………......273 Chapter 31: Hook, Line, and Script: The Methods of Reality Television…………………278 Chapter 32: My Youth, Jacob’s Past……………………………………………...………295 Chapter 33: A Hidden Subway Station…………………………………………...………301 Chapter 34: In my Sleep, I was Sure that I’d Heard Somebody Laughing, and then they said, “Are You Ready? Okay. Do It…………………………………….…328 Chapter 35: Hart’s Labyrinth………………………………………………………….…329 Chapter 36: A Different Labyrinth and Another Hostel Debacle……………………..….346 Chapter 37: The Evolution of Height, A Study of 1970’s Basketball………………….….356 Chapter 38: Hydraulics and Microbreweries……………………………………………...363 Chapter 39: His Parents’ Debilitating Case of Chronomentrophobia……………….……377 Chapter 40: “I Can Help You to Fuck Off”……………………………………..……….382 vi Chapter 41: Arpoh Frey-Win and the Trithemian Language………………………..…….406 Chapter 42: “burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars……………………………..443 Chapter 43: The Timely Return of Jason Shrontz, and My First Celebrity Encounter, to be Followed by Many……………………………..449 Chapter 44: A Fien Reading…………………………………………………..………….471 Chapter 45: From LA to New Orleans……………………………………………..…….511 Chapter 46: A Plan is Hatched………………………………………………….………..516 Chapter 47: Plagiarizing a Novel……………………………………………………...….545 Chapter 48: “Do You Think They’re Still Reading?”…………………………….……….580 Chapter 49: Almost the End (Seriously, Flip Ahead, It’s Right There), In Which, Out of Perhaps Nervousness, or Possibly as a Distraction, For a Time I Address You, the Reader……………………………………………….…..581 Chapter 50: The Preliminary Questioning and Consultation…………………………...…596 Chapter 51: A Cast of Characters and a Surprise Visit…………………………….…...…606 Chapter 52: A Preposterous Re-Appearance of My Cast…………………………………617 Chapter 53: The Days Go By…………………………………………………………….624 Chapter 54: A New Manuscript and an Unraveling………………………………...…….627 Chapter ∞: After the Ending……………………………………………………….…….649 Works Cited………………………………………………………………………...……653 vii INTRODUCTION “Everything is artifice and mere appearance.” -Don Quixote The Conception When I started working on The Collected Letters and Unpublished Writings of Karin Pankreez, Novelist Aspirant (TCLAUWOKPNA) in the summer of 2009, it was quite another project altogether. I was interested primarily in creating a strong and visible plot, and populating it with lively characters capable of struggling through complex emotions and crises. Additionally, I wanted to use the structure of the novel to represent the role that chance plays in everyday life. Although as the creator, I would always be pulling the strings behind the scenes, I wanted the reader to be able to forget about my existence and experience the intersection of four disparate characters’ lives. The storyline, then, was simple: four characters from four different regions, all of whom were struggling in the current economic climate, would meet by chance on a train journey to Los Angeles. Their individual attempts to improve their conditions, as well as their numerous setbacks, would drive the plot forward. The intersections of their lives would allow them to share their burdens and move toward resolution. The novel was originally titled, This Monster Land, its title taken from a line in John Steinbeck’s Travels with Charley (1961): “So it was that I determined to look again, to try to rediscover this monster land” (5). By the end of the summer of 2009, however, after struggling through several narrative problems, the novel took on quite a different shape. 1 The Problems When working through the beginning of the novel, I discovered that I spent more time creating the individual lives of each character, than I did