THE BARTENDER’S HANDBOOK OF FANCY COCKTAILS & CONCOCTIONS MAL TWISKIE Ex Libris William John Bardsley 2 3 A BARTENDER’S HANDBOOK OF FANCY COCKTAILS & CONCOCTIONS MAL TWISKIE Scarfes Bar Cocktail Book Vol. 1 Published by Rivington Bye Ltd. on behalf of Rosewood London high holborn, london mdccclxiv london mmxviii fruity & spiced Cocktail recipes? I’ll give you a cocktail recipe. Take one 50/50 boring old book, fill with a bunch of posh tweeds and 2009 TARTAN SPARTAN celebrity attention-seekers and drop in a few pretentious 2014 ingredients no one’s ever heard of. Muddle with the superior sketches of a totally genius (and handsome) LITTLE CABBAGE 2017 cartoonist et voilà – perfection on ice, shaken not stirred. SILVER SPOON 2013 ON YER BIKE 2008 Cocktails have got layers, the bartenders here tell me. TOOT TOOT 2016 They’re full of secrets and surprises. So I’ve got a little OFF THE MARKET dry & bitter 2018 surprise for you here, too. I’ve added a few layers of my NATURALIST 2006 own to this dust-gatherer of a book. A little Scarfination has improved many a dull tome. HIGH WASTED fresh & floral fresh 2004 Oh, I know I’ve got a bar named after me, blah blah. PATRONUS NECK IT 2010 2015 But a whole book of cocktails inspired by all the main BOOYAKASHA! 2003 people and events in recent history since the Millenium, OFFICE GOSSIP 2001 and no one thought to celebrate little old me? No Gerald Martini? No fruity Scarfarita? No Scarfe Island Iced DROP SHOT Tea or even a Bloody Scarfey? Well I’ll show you, the 2012 BACK TO BLACK pen is mightier than the shaker… 2011 ZINGY STARDUST 2002 DOC NO. 9 2005 MACCA-IATO 2007 sour & sweet Davidhandbook Brent of cocktails & concoctions(aka Ricky Gervaishandbook)’s of cocktails & concoctions PREFACE flat and void our pockets fall; Faith! soon, there ‘ll be no times at all!” This The principal object of these pages is to furnish a collection of recipes for is rather the cry of those who live that they may drink, than of our wiser the brewing of compound drinks, technically called “Cups,” all of which selves, who drink that we may live. In truth, we are not dead to the charms cringeworthyhave been selected with the most scrupulous attention antics to the rules of put Slough of– other drinks,and in moderation. British gastronomy, and their virtues tested and approved by repeated trials. The apple has had a share of our favour, being recommended to These we are inclined to put into type, from a belief that, if they were more our literary notice by an olden poet— “Praised and caress’d, the tuneful generally adopted, it would be the means of getting rid of a great deal of Phillips sung Of cyder famed, whence first his laurels sprung;” and we have that stereotyped drinking which at present holds sway at the festive boards looked with a friendly eye upon the wool of a porter-pot, and involuntarily comedyof England. In doing –this, we haveon endeavoured the to simplify map, the matter as reducing apostrophizedgrown it in the words of themen old stanza, “Rise then,to my Muse, and much as possible, adding such hints and remarks as may prove serviceable to the world proclaim The mighty charms of porter’s potent name,” with- to the uninitiated, whilst we have discarded a goodly number of modern out the least jealous feeling being aroused at the employment of a Muse compounds as unpalatable and unscientific. whose labours ought to be secured solely for humanity; but a cup-drink, epic OfficeAs, in this age of progress, most thingsquote-offs. are raised to the position little and good, will, for its social and moral qualities, ever hold the chief of a science, we see no reason why Bacchanology, if the term please our place in our likings. readers, should not hold a respectable place, and be entitled to its due Lastly, although we know many of our friends to be first-rate mead of praise; so, by way of introduction, we have ventured to take a judges of pleasant beverages, yet we believe that but few of them are cursory glance at the customs which have been attached to drinking from acquainted with their composition or history in times past. Should, there- “Friendthe earliest periods to thefirst, present time. This, however, boss we set forth assecond, no entertainerfore, any hints we may have thrownthird” out assist in adding to the conviviality elaborate history, but only as an arrangement of such scraps as have from of the festive board, we feel we shall not have scribbled in vain; and we beg time to time fallen in our way, and have helped us to form ideas of the especially to dedicate this bagatelle to all those good souls who have been social manners of bygone times. We have selected a sprig of Borage for taught by experience that a firm adhesion to the “pigskin,” and a rattling becomesour frontispiece, by reason the of the usefulness ethos of that pleasant herbof in the the 2001 workplace,galopade to the music of the twanging horn and the melody of the merry flavouring of cups. Pack, is the best incentive to the enjoyment of all good things, especially Elsewhere than in England, plants for flavouring are accounted good appetite, good fellowship, and Good Health. And, although alone, of rare virtue. So much are they esteemed in the East, that an anti-Brah- “We’ll drain one draught in Memory of many a joyous Banquet past. immortalisedminical writer, showing the worthlessness of Hinduby superstitions, our says, bittersweet, vegetable- “They command you to cut down a living and sweet basil-plant, that you may crown a lifeless stone.” Our use of flavouring-herbs is the reverse of CUPS AND THEIR CUSTOMS this justly condemned one; for we crop them that hearts may be warmed “Then shall our names, Familiar in their mouths as household words, Be and life lengthened. And here we would remark that, although our en- in their flowing cups freshly remember’d.” As in all countries and in all infuseddeavours are directed Officetowards the resuscitation of better times thanGossip those cocktail... ages drinking has existed as a necessary institution, so we find it has been we live in, times of heartier customs and of more genial ways, we raise no invariably accompanied by its peculiar forms and ceremonies. But in en- lamentation for the departure of the golden age, in the spirit of Hoffmann deavouring to trace these, we are at once beset with the difficulty of fixing von Fallersleben, who sings:— “Would our bottles but grow deeper, Did a starting-point. If we were inclined to treat the subject in a rollicking our wine but once get cheaper, Then on earth there might unfold The fashion, we could find a high antiquity ready-made to our hands in the golden times, the age of gold! “But not for us; we are commanded To go apocryphal doings of mythology, and might quote the nectar of the gods with temperance even-handed. as the first of all potations; for we are told that “When Mars, the God The golden age is for the dead: We ‘ve got the paper age instead! of War, of Venus first did think, He laid aside his helm and shield, and “For, ah! our bottles still decline, And daily dearer grows our wine, And mix’d a drop of drink.” But it is our intention, at the risk of being consid- 8 9 2001 handbook of cocktails & concoctions handbook of cocktails & concoctions You stealered pedantic, a tothousand discourse on customs more tangible and real. If we are Rufus Festus, of the Gauls by Diodorus Siculus, and of the Celts by Silius believers in the existence of pre-Adamite man, the records he has left us, Italicus. Hence it is that Ragnar Lodbrog, in his death-song, consoles post-itin the shapenotes of flint atand stone12p implements, are far too difficult of solution himself with the reflection, “I shall soon drink beer from hollow cups and to you’vebe rendered availablemade for drinking-purposes, or to assist us in forming made of skulls.” In more modern times, the middle ages for example, we any idea of his inner life: we must therefore commence our history at the find historic illustration of a new use of the word, where Skoll was applied time when God made choice to rear His mighty champion, strong above in another though allied sense. - profitcompare, Whose drink was only from the limpid brook.” Thus it is said of one of the leaders in the Gowryan conspiracy Nor need we pause to dilate on the quality of this primæval “that he did drink his skoll to my Lord Duke,” meaning that the health draught; for “Adam’s ale” has always been an accepted world-wide of that nobleman was pledged; and again, at a festive table, we read that beverage, even before drinking-fountains were invented, and will contin- the scoll passed about; and, as a still better illustration, Calderwood says ue till the end of time to form the foundation of every other drinkable that drinking the king’s skole meant the drinking of his cup in honour of compound. Neither was it necessary for the historian to inform us of the him, which, he adds, should always be drank standing. In more modern vessel from which our grand progenitor quaffed his limpid potion, since times, however, drinking-cups have been formed of various materials, all our common sense would tell us that the hollowed palm of his hand would of which have, at least in regard to idea, a preferable and more humane serve as the readiest and most probable means.