NOTHING “IMPROPER” HAPPENED: SEX, MARRIAGE, AND COLONIAL IDENTITY IN UPPER CANADA, 1783-1850 by Robin Christine Grazley A thesis submitted to the Department of History in conformity with the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Queen’s University Kingston, Ontario, Canada June, 2010 Copyright © Robin Christine Grazley, 2010 Abstract This study explores the importance of heterosexual relationships, in theory and practice, to the making of Upper Canada as a British colonial society. Between 1783, when settlers began to enter the territory in the wake of the American Revolutionary War, and 1850, when the transition toward a more powerful colonial state was underway, contests surrounding marriage, gender, and sexuality were of great significance. The colony was intended by its first and many of its subsequent Lieutenant-Governors to serve as a model of loyalty to the British Empire and a bulwark against American democratic “disorder.” Fundamental to this colonial project was the presence of an orderly body of white settlers; however, this aim was often complicated and undermined by a diverse settler population which refused to conform to middle-class mores and social norms. Marriage and sexual “morality,” significant aspects of assessing “race” and “civilization” in this period, were primary sites for these tensions. This study reenvisions appropriate and inappropriate heterosexual behaviour in the colony and explores the importance of debates over marriage and sexuality to articulations of settler identity. Using private writings, travel literature, and judicial records, including the benchbooks of the colony’s judges, I examine the ways the formation and dissolution of intimate relationships were contested between individual colonists, in local politics, and in international discourse about the British empire and the value of its colonies of settlement. Although Upper Canadians generally tolerated a broader spectrum of heterosexual behaviours and practices, including “irregular” marriage forms, disputes over appropriate expressions of sexuality and marriage were i implicated in the rhetoric of inclusion and exclusion from the colony’s inception. The role of the “neighbourhood” and community knowledge was multivalent and critical in determining acceptable behaviour in consensual relationships and defining sexual coercion. By the end of the 1840s, shifts in cultural and legal values increasingly placed the regulation of intimate matters in the hands of the state. ii Acknowledgements Many people helped me during the long process of completing this thesis. It is a great pleasure to finally be able to thank them in print. First of all, thanks to all the librarians, archivists, and support staff who assisted with my research at Queen’s University Archives and Stauffer and Douglas libraries; Library and Archives Canada; the Toronto Public Library (North York and Metro Toronto Reference Library); the University of Toronto (especially Robarts Media Commons); the United Church of Canada Archives; and above all, the Archives of Ontario. I gratefully acknowledge the financial support of the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council; Ontario Graduate Scholarships; Queen’s University; the Sir James Aikins Prize in Canadian History; the Joseph Leslie Engler Dissertation Fellowship; and the Roger Graham Fellowship in Modern Canadian History. I also thank James Carson, Robert Shenton, Sandra den Otter, David Parker, and Richard Greenfield, all of whom served as graduate or department chair during the completion of this thesis, for their assistance with navigating the program, securing funding, and providing opportunities to teach. The department’s amazing support staff, Cathy Dickison, Cindy Fehr, Debbie Stirton-Massey, and Yvonne Place, helped me innumerable times, as a graduate student and a commuting instructor. Thanks as well to my students, who helped me articulate my ideas, listened to my courtroom stories, and reminded me why history mattered. I don’t quite know how to thank my co-supervisors, Jane Errington and Karen Dubinsky, for their belief in me and in this project. My immense debt to their scholarship will be obvious. Their patience, rigorous questioning, and above all, their willingness to iii let me explore and make this project my own may not have led to a quick completion, but it has made me a far better scholar. They have gone far, far above and beyond what any graduate student has the right to expect. From the beginning, Jeff McNairn’s probing questions have challenged me to make this project better; I appreciate and have learned much from his interest in the records of Upper Canada’s courts. I thank him, and the other members of the examination committee, Sandra den Otter, Sylvia Söderlind (Department of English, Queen’s University), and Adele Perry (Department of History, University of Manitoba), for a defence filled with good discussion, helpful critiques, and suggestions for future development. Adele Perry’s encouragement of my work has been much appreciated. Cecilia Morgan generously took the time to discuss this project with me at a few critical stages, and during the final year of writing gave me the opportunity to present my research to three very difference audiences: the History of Education seminar at OISE, and lecture series at Black Creek Pioneer Village and the Niagara Historical Museum. I thank her, and the participants, for their comments and suggestions. Questions from audiences at the annual meetings of the Canadian Historical Association, graduate conferences at York and Dalhousie Universities, the History Departmental Seminar Series at Queen’s, and the University of Victoria also deepened my thinking about this project. Elizabeth Vibert supervised my M.A. thesis; equal parts encouragement and rigorous critique, her mentoring was invaluable in developing the tools I needed to undertake this project. Thanks also to Greg Blue, the best teacher I have ever met, who helped me open the right door at the right time. His intellect and generosity continue to inspire me. iv The doctoral program at Queen’s introduced me to Julie Johnson, Jennifer Marotta, Matthew McKean, Sean Mills, and Stuart Henderson. Many of the ideas which ultimately appear here were tested and refined in their company, and I am grateful for their friendship and encouragement. I was fortunate to meet Alison Norman, Kristine Alexander, and Jennifer Bonnell just as I was planning a move to Toronto; this thesis also owes much to their intellectual support and friendship, and that of all the members of the Toronto Area Women’s Canadian History Group. I am also grateful to the friends who eased the transition between B.C. and Ontario. The kindness of Danielle Aird and family when I first moved to Kingston will never be forgotten. James Malfair generously shared his living space in Toronto during my first summer of research; Kristeen von Hagen, and Michelle Braakman and Matt Bera, loaned their couches over the next two years. Jenn Marotta and Greg Breen offered a home away from home after I left Kingston. Christine Pittmann, Rainbow Wilson, Cassie Ogilvie, and Shannon and Austin Henry also provided good humour, distraction, and much-needed perspective. My gratitude to my extended family is impossible to put into words, but I will try. Although this thesis was written at a significant geographical distance from them, I felt their love and support every step of the way. My parents, Linda Grazley and John Grazley, have always encouraged and believed in me, as have their partners, Phil Lowe and Deena Gray, and my uncle, Lindsay Olson. Special thanks to my mum for the many hours she spent discussing this project with me, and for her assistance in researching Frederica Ferguson. My sister, Jana Grazley, also contributed countless hours of conversation, laughter, and good advice, over the phone and in too-infrequent visits with her and her partner, Thomas Överström. My parents-in-law, Ann and Mikkel Schau, v deserve their own set of thanks for emotional and financial support, and for well-placed reminders that “TTT.” This thesis is dedicated to my grandmother, Margaret Olson, who passed away in 1997, just as I plunged into Honours History. Among many other things, she passed on her love of storytelling, a passion for education and knowledge, and the wisdom not to equate them. I like to think that she would have been proud. Finally, I thank my partner, Torben Schau, who in so many ways made it possible for me to finish this thesis. He is the best. vi Table of Contents Abstract i Acknowledgements iii Table of Contents vii Chapter 1. Introduction 1 Chapter 2. “such a marrying country”: Sociability, sexuality, and the 38 meanings of marriage Chapter 3. Making Marriage Law: Formally Regulating Heterosexuality 89 Chapter 4. The Fiction of Indissolubility: Relationship Breakdown 137 Chapter 5. Drawing the Lines of Morality: Scandal, Community Standards, 191 and Informal Regulation Chapter 6. Consent, Coercion, and Conflict: Placing Sexual Assault in 250 Upper Canada Chapter 7. Conclusion 301 Bibliography 308 vii Chapter 1 Introduction “Sex” and “Upper Canada” may initially seem like contradictory terms. Established in 1791 in the wake of the American Revolution, the colony is more often associated with images of steadfast farming families who prized order and loyalty to the Crown than with discourses about rampant sexual immorality. Yet only a cursory examination of contemporary writings about Upper Canada, including travellers’ accounts and emigrant guides, the colonial press, and political debates, indicates that sex between men and women was a subject of significant concern. Travellers cautioned readers about profligate behaviour among settlers, including their lack of chastity; one author declared that “an unmarried female with a baby in her arms is as much respected,” and indeed had better “matrimonial prospects,” than if “she preserved her virtue with a Vestal’s fidelity.”1 Authors of emigrant guides presented Upper Canada as a place where 1 Edward Allen Talbot, Five Years’ Residence in the Canadas: Including a Tour through Part of the United States of America in the Year 1823.