DOING THE LYNCH TANGO: WHITE WOMEN, BLACK MEN, AND RACIAL PRIVILEGE Robin Parker, J.D., Beyond Diversity Resource Center Contentious and distrustful interactions among black men and white women are not inevitably the product of the independent actions and intentions of the persons involved. Cultural narratives, which have long ascribed savage and bestial characteristics to black men, and passive and chaste characteristics to white women, shape modern-day interactions among the two groups and influence attitudes held in the wider society. Examination of cultural narra- tives offers an opportunity to better understand the sociological mechanisms that support racism and racial privi- lege, and to recast relationships that often have been rendered toxic by a potent but usually invisible ideology. A String of Firecrackers and worried about the ways anti-racism Some ideas are better expressed through training could go wrong. I knew that talking poetry. Writing an article about white women, about race could be a profound and black men, and the interplay of racial privilege transformational topic, but I had also been a among them is a topic so burdened with taboos, participant in many training sessions that went stereotypes, and historical tragedies that it is awry because they were badly taught. The difficult to find a good place to start. More problem was particularly acute for me because than other racial topics, this one requires a the courses we offered on race addressed the careñil understanding of the shared history that "tough" issues, such as racial privilege and white women and black men have had in the internalized oppression, and did not shy away United States, and a thoughtful understanding from talking about how participants were of the ideology that has shaped that history . different because of their uncommon racial Otherwise, any exploration of the ways the experiences, not just talking about how two groups have affected each other participants all held so much in common. disintegrates into the very misconceptions that One fall weekend, I was teaching our scholarly writing seeks to allay . I am not a "Basic Anti-Racism" course with a colleague. poet, but I have found that telling a story The training was a lively one, and was going sometimes creates a good place to begin a well: the participants were engaging, and the discussion when other devices fail. So, I will group was willing to share their experiences start with one of my own. with one another. Among the approximately I am a black man. About 15 years ago I 20 participants was Mary (not her real name), worked as a deputy attorney general and a white woman in her forties, who was an director of New Jersey^ Office of Bias Crime accomplished educator. During one of the and Community Relations. One of my discussions, Mary began to interrupt another responsibilities included offering anti-racism participant, a common occurrence when ("diversity") training to individuals and people get excited about a topic. Mary was organizations throughout the state; indeed, I seated directly across from me (everyone was not only ensured that the training was available, seated in a large circle), about 15 feet away, I also taught many of the training sessions with so I said, "Hold on a second, let' s let Anne colleagues from my office and with trusted finish," and simultaneously held up my hand in volunteers. Anti-racism training was a new a "stop" gesture. Mary did not stop, but went venture for me—^I'm a lawyer by profession— on to finish her thought in another few so during the first years of this undertaking, I sentences. The group's discussion then was especially nervous about my teaching skills continued unremarkably. 126 REFLECTIONS - WINTER 2010 Doing the Lynch Tango: White Women, Black Men, and Racial Privilege A few minutes latei; we took a scheduled lunch break could provoke ire and a complaint aftemoon break for fifteen minutes. During that I was either unfair about time allocation those breaks, participants usually relax, use or insensitive about the issues at hand. The the restrooms, and get refreshments. I went incidents were infrequent, but persistent outside the building to get some fresh air and enough to make me despair because no matter I after a few minutes walked back toward our how I tried to parse them, I could not I training room. As I emerged from an elevator understand why they continued. I knew that ' and walked into the hallway, I saw that some there were stereotypes about white women, of the participants were crowded around one stereotypes about black men, and stereotypes of the hallway benches and were apparently about white women and black men together. i consoling someone who was crying. As I Yet none of those seemed to fit my neared the group, I could see that it was Mary experiences. Besides, white women were who was in disfress. I asked her what was among the greatest supporters and attendants I wrong. She looked at me without answering at the anti-racism trainings. Unlike white men j and just shook her head. "Can anyone tell me (who usually did not attend), white women I what's going on?" I asked the group. No one were more often courageous about racial I would answer, but just looked at me with a issues and willing to take themselves and others ¡ sense of apprehension. to task. Indeed, they had been some of my best teachers about anti-racism efforts. Still, I told Mary I was concemed and wanted the string of firecrackers that was my freakish to help, and I asked her again to tell me what dealings with a small number of white women was happening. "I just don't know whether I continued to explode. can go on," she said. "When you put your hand , up and said 'stop,' it made me feel—like really I received some clarity in a training that threatened and unsafe." She then melted into happened late in 2008.1 had since stopped ; the bench and continued to cry for about 10 working for the State of New Jersey and had \ minutes until my fellow trainer was able to helped establish the Beyond Diversity ' convince her that it was worthwhile to Resource Center to continue anti-racism continue. She stayed for the remainder of the training and other human relations efforts. The training that day and the next, but appeared training director, Pamela Smith Chambers, and visibly wounded and quite wary of me. I were conducting a training session for ; I avoided making a further issue of the members of a nonprofit organization that ' incident during the training, but I was shocked wanted to ensure that its staff members kept \ by what had happened. I spent months trying their diversity skills sharp. One of the exercises to figure out what I had done wrong, and how we conducted is a now classic one in which ! I could have handled the situation better . I we asked participants to form a line standing spoke with other trainers whom I tmsted to shoulder-to-shoulder. I read a list of racial get some dispassionate assessments of the privileges and anti-privileges to the participants situation; I questioned how my own male and asked them to move forward or backwards privilege might have been at work; and I tried depending upon how each privilege or anti- to allow the incident to be an opportunity for privilege applied to them. Example: "If you my own leaming. Ultimately , I would have have ever been followed by a security guard constmed the incident as a singular anomaly in a store because of your race, take one step if I had not later experienced what became an back.... If you have never been followed by a ever-increasing list of similar experiences with security guard in a store because of your race, white women. take one step forward." This is a powerñil I As the years passed, wondering when and exercise and one that can bring up strong why a white woman would "have a meltdovm" emotions because of the visual impact it over something I said or did became a kind of inspires: members of the culturally privileged ; training expectation and a source of personal group—^white people—arrive at the front of I worry. Even something as seemingly innocuous the room because they have mostly taken steps as my dismissing a group of participants for a forward, and members of the culturally REFLECTIONS - WINTER 2010 127 Doing the Lynch Tango: White Women, Black t^en, and Racial Privilege unprivileged group—^people of color—arrive negative experiences I had with some white at the rear of the room because they have women during training sessions. I undertook mostly taken steps backward. this quest mindñil that my negative experiences After the participants moved themselves were repetitive but infrequent, and therefore I through the exercise, Pamela and I asked would be searching for the cause or causes of everyone to share their thoughts and feelings. a particular dynamic—^but certainly not the There was nothing unusual in this debrief only dynamic—^that happens between white compared to the many others we had done in women and black men. the past: emotions were high, and some individuals felt a startling sense of new leaming. History Written in Lightning/Leopard's After about 30 minutes we were about to Spots conclude the discussion, when one participant. What was happening in my interactions Sue (not her real name), a white woman in felt like it came from somewhere else, not her thirties, signaled that she would like to simply from the sometimes contentious make a comment.