Seniors Bullying Seniors: Out of the Playground and into Senior Living Communities Ruben Rivera-Jackman, MNPL, GMHS, PSC Senior Resident Services Manager (206) 574-1187 – [email protected] Ruben’s Experience ®25+ years of experience working in the health, human and social services sector. ®Education: MNPL, GMHS, PSC, and CDP. ® Senior Resident Services Manager, 10 years . 28 mixed population buildings public housing developments serving older-adults and younger adults with disabilities. 8 RSCs . 1,563 households Learning Outcomes 1. Describe the characteristics of bullying behaviors. 2. Learn the five different types of bullies. 3. Understand the psycho-social impacts of bullying behaviors. Learning Outcomes 4. Identify Organizational interventions that may help minimize bullying among older-adults. 5. Pinpoint skills to share with older- adults to avoid them from being bullying targets. Hands-Raised Polling Question Housing Developer, Office Assistant, Owner Administrative Assistant Service Coordinator Facilities Manager, Property Manager Maintenance Personnel Housing Administrator Adult Bullying: Not Just a Playground Issues Self-Reflection Exercise Hands-Raised Polling Question Have you personally ever been bullied? Have you ever witnessed someone else being bullied? If you are a parent, has your child ever shared with you that s/he has been bullied? Have you ever witnessed an older-adult bully another person? Nursery Rhyme Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Wikipedia: an English language children’s rhyme. It persuades the child target of name-calling to ignore the taunt, to refrain from physical retaliation, and to remain calm and good-natured. It is reported to have appeared in The Christian Recorder of March 1862, a publication of the African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Church Impact of Negative Terms How do you feel when you are referred to by words you consider negative? Self-Reflection Exercise Think about a time in your life where you felt bullied? When and where did it occur? What did it feel like? Self-Reflection Exercise Please share your story with the person sitting next to you. (5 minutes) Seniors Bullying Seniors Adult Bullying When we hear the word bully, we immediately think of children and adolescents, but it is very real problem in the older adult population. Unfortunately bullying behaviors occurs across the lifespan Late-Life Bullying Statistics . Estimated 10-20% of older adults experience some type of senior to senior aggression, usually verbal abuse. Tough to tease out precise numbers because these acts often go unreported. Barriers to Reporting Victims are often too ashamed and fear retaliation. Lack of training. Staff members may be unsure of the correct protocol or would prefer the situation to resolve itself. (Kudos) Bullying Defined ate/City/County Bullying Defined Form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. American Psychological Association (APA) Bullying Defined Intentional, repetitive aggressive behavior involving an imbalance of power or strength. Hazelden Foundation, 2008 Characteristics of Bullying Repetitive negative behaviors towards another person, occurring over a period of time. Behavior is unsolicited by the target. Effects are lasting and harmful. Characteristics of Bullying Ranges from verbal intimidation to physical violence. Behavior violates the standards of appropriate conduct. Fact or Myth Is it considered bullying, if the incident only occurs one time? Fact One-time incidents may have significant negative impacts on individuals. The Five Types of Bullies 5 Types of Bullies 1. Narcissistic Bully: self-centered, need for power and control, does not share empathy with others. 2. Impulsive Bully: Spontaneous, plans their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, they have hard time restraining from bullying behaviors. 5 Types of Bullies 3. Physical Bully: Uses physical aggression. 4. Verbal Bully: Uses their words, starts rumors, uses sarcastic, or demeaning language to embarrass, dominate and humiliate another person. 5 Types of Bullies 5. Secondary Bully: Does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that they do not become a target down the road. May feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves. (self-preservation, survival of the fittest) Where Does Bullying Occur? . Senior living communities, senior centers, adult day health centers, rehab facilities, assisted-living facilities, and nursing homes. During community events and activities where seniors spend a lot of time together and share resources e.g. chairs, tables, and TV stations. (elevators & stairwells) YouTube Videos ? Senior Citizens Also Targets Of Bullying - YouTube.website ? Senior citizens bullying more prevalent than you think - YouTube.website What does Bullying Look Like? . The situation and type of behavior determines if it is bullying. Some behavior may be inappropriate and violate community rules but is not bullying. Some people may display verbal or physical aggression as a way of communicating when they are frustrated or upset. (Dementia/Alz) Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open for Senior on Senior Bullying This is What Bullying Looks Like Types of Bullying Behaviors . Verbal: name calling, teasing, insults, taunts, threats, sarcasm, and pointed jokes targeting specific individuals . Physical: pushing, pinching, biting, punching, hitting, hair pulling, destroying property, and stealing Types of Bullying Behaviors . Anti social: shunning, excluding, gossiping, mimicking, spreading rumors, using offensive gestures and negative nonverbal body language. Relationship-centered: ostracizing during meal times, activities or forming social cliques. Behavior is Communication Why Do Older-Adults Bully? . Some people who were bullies when they were younger often continue to bully into their golden years. Some people do not adjust well to the aging process so they take out their frustration on others. (Getting old ain’t for sissies) Why Do Older-Adults Bully? Some people experience emotional problems. Some people have an underlying need for power and control. Some people feel the need to assert their will to intimidate, embarrass or humiliate others. Why Do Older-Adults Bully? • Some people have a difficult time transitioning into senior living communities due to loss of independence, relationships, income, valued roles, and social support networks. • Some people have difficulty tolerating individual differences, lacks empathy, and has few positive social relationships. Why Do Older-Adults Bully? . Some people have insecurities about themselves and enjoy making others feel bad to raise their own self-esteem/worth. Some people with dementia might misunderstand things as threatening and react with more primitive responses. Who Gets Bullied? . Individuals who have difficulty defending themselves. (vulnerable, disabled, and disenfranchised) . Two types of people often targeted with bullying: . Passive targets . Provocative targets Gender Differences of Bullies Women usually utilize more passive behaviors like whispering or gossiping. Men usually utilize more provocative behaviors like aggressive in your face gestures and negative comments. Passive Provocative Passive Targets Tend to: . Be highly emotional (drama & chaos) . Have difficulty reading social cues (boundaries) . Experience a heightened sense of anxiety Passive Targets Tend to: . Have racial/ethnic, spiritual beliefs, political, or sexual orientation, gender identity that is perceived as different from their target. Immigrants & refugees . r/o early stage dementia (r/o) Provocative Targets Tend to be: . Annoying or irritating to others . Quick tempered . Intrusive into others’ space . r/o early-mid-stage dementia (r/o) Targeting LGBT Older-Adults 1. Appearance. 2. Actual or perceived sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression. 3. Recent advances in LGBT equality rights. Real Life Case Scenario Wanda walked into the dining room one morning of the retirement community she had moved to wearing a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Her hair was fixed, but she hadn’t put any makeup on yet. She saw a group of women at one table in the corner glancing her way and whispering. This group usually ate together and had not been overly welcoming to Wanda as a new resident. She heard a voice from the table say, “Well you would think she could dress up and at least have her makeup on to come to breakfast!” The comment was followed by snickers from the other women at the table. A week later, Wanda, who was still dressing pretty casually to get breakfast, noticed a note in her mailbox with a series of dress code suggestions on it. Hurtful Actions Turning public spaces into private domains. Excluding individuals from social events. Formation of social cliques. Using racial/ethnic slurs. Bullying on Social Media Cyber Bullying Bullying on Social Media Hurtful Actions Blocking off seats for their social cliques at mealtimes and during events. Criticizing, spreading rumors, ridiculing, and lying about those who don’t meet their acceptance standards regarding race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, economic background, etc.. Bullying on Social Media You discover that a resident has posted offensive and malicious comments and photos on Facebook. Bullying is Not a Function of Aging It’s a Pathology Bullying is Not a Function of Aging • Bullying is a function of psycho-social pathology. • Bullying is a