Running Head: JOURNEY TO SUCCESS i JOURNEY TO SUCCESS: LESSONS FROM SUCCESSFUL SAME-SEX COUPLES A Dissertation Presented to The Faculty of the Applied Psychology Department Antioch University New England In Partial Fulfillment Of the Requirements of the Degree Doctor of Philosophy in Marriage and Family Therapy Jeni L. Wahlig, M.S., LMFT January, 2017 Running head: JOURNEY TO SUCCESS ii Abstract Therapists are often called upon to support same-sex couples along their journey to success. Yet, only limited information is available for understanding what success means for same-sex couples, what the journey to success might look like, and how we might support them in navigating that journey. In this dissertation, I seek to begin to fill this gap in knowledge by conducting an extensive literature review of factors that affect same-sex couple relationship success and a qualitative research study. In the study, I use narrative inquiry to explore the challenges and life-events important to couples’ journeys toward success; the resources and qualities that support these journeys, and how same-sex couples understand and narrate their experiences of relationship success. In the first chapter, I provide an introduction to the dissertation that follows. The second chapter presents a critical review of the literature, in which success is defined as a measure of quality, satisfaction, and longevity and factors affecting each of these constructs are identified and considered. Limitations and are explored, and the need for the present study is identified. In the third chapter, I discuss my research methods. Results, explored in Chapter Four, are organized into three sections which explore common “chapters” along the relationship journey, factors that contribute to relationship success, and how stories were told. Finally, in Chapter Five, I discuss the results, their implications, limitations, and directions for future research. The electronic version of this dissertation is available in open- access OhioLink ETD Center, www.ohiolink.edu/etd. Keywords: same-sex couples, gay, lesbian, bisexual, relationship quality, satisfaction, longevity, relationship success, resilience Running head: JOURNEY TO SUCCESS iii Copyright Page Copyright 2017 Jeni L. Wahlig All rights reserved Running head: JOURNEY TO SUCCESS iv Antioch University New England Keene, New Hampshire Applied Psychology Department January 30 2017 WE HEREBY RECOMMEND THAT THE DISSERTATION BY Jeni L. Wahlig Entitled JOURNEY TO SUCCESS: LESSONS FROM SUCCESSFUL SAME-SEX COUPLES BE ACCEPTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY IN MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPY APPROVED BY: DISSERTATION CHAIR Kevin Lyness, Ph. D. COMMITTEE MEMBER Megan Murphy, Ph. D. COMMITTEE MEMBER Justine D’Arrigo-Patrick, Ph. D. DEPARTMENT OF APPLIED PSYCHOLOGY REPRESENTATIVE Catherine Lounsbury, Ed. D. Running head: JOURNEY TO SUCCESS v Dedication This dissertation is dedicated to my beloved partners in relationship, Stephanie and Calvin. Your love and support has kept me going in so many ways. Thank you for sharing this journey, and our journeys, toward success. Running head: JOURNEY TO SUCCESS vi Acknowledgements I would like to express my utmost gratitude to the ten couples who shared their time, energy, and wisdom with me and with the world. You have given such a gift, and I hope it returns to you many times over. Thank you, as well, to all of the people who reached out to those they knew in order for me to get connected with the generous couples who participated in this study. I would also like to thank my dissertation chair, Dr. Kevin Lyness, for all of his endless and ever-available support, encouragement, and input. My gratitude also goes to my other committee members, Dr. Megan Murphy and Dr. Justine D’Arrigo-Patrick, for their support, feedback, and availability. Thank you, deeply and profoundly, to my family and my family of choice. Stephanie, I don’t know how I could have gotten through my long days without you. Calvin, thank you for being the motivation I needed to push through some of the hardest parts. Simon, I’m so grateful for your quiet company, your practical assistance, and all of the nourishing breaks. Jessi, thanks for understanding this journey so completely and reminding me that I’m not alone and that I can do it. Teri, thank you for your love, for your willingness, and for all the growth and beauty you brought to my life. Running head: JOURNEY TO SUCCESS vii Table of Contents Chapter 1: Introduction ................................................................................................................... 1 Overview ......................................................................................................................................... 1 Definitions. .............................................................................................................................. 3 Success. ............................................................................................................................... 3 Longevity ............................................................................................................................ 4 Quality................................................................................................................................. 4 Commitment ....................................................................................................................... 4 Description of chapters ............................................................................................................ 4 Chapter Two: Critical Review of the Literature ............................................................................. 5 Factors that Affect Same-Sex Couple Relationship Success .......................................................... 5 Defining Relationship Success ....................................................................................................... 6 Relationship Quality ....................................................................................................................... 7 Measuring quality .................................................................................................................... 7 Factors that affect quality ........................................................................................................ 9 Minority stress .................................................................................................................. 10 Outness .............................................................................................................................. 12 Social support.................................................................................................................... 14 Partner Homogamy ........................................................................................................... 15 Running head: JOURNEY TO SUCCESS viii Perceived Equality ............................................................................................................ 16 Non-Monogamy ................................................................................................................ 18 Mental health .................................................................................................................... 19 Relationship Formalization ............................................................................................... 20 Other factors that affect quality ........................................................................................ 21 Satisfaction .................................................................................................................................... 22 Measuring satisfaction ........................................................................................................... 22 Factors that affect satisfaction ............................................................................................... 23 Conflict ............................................................................................................................. 24 Resources .......................................................................................................................... 24 Perceived costs versus benefits ......................................................................................... 25 Correlates supporting themes in quality ........................................................................... 27 Longevity ...................................................................................................................................... 27 Measuring longevity .............................................................................................................. 27 Factors that affect longevity .................................................................................................. 28 Barriers to leaving ............................................................................................................. 28 Attractions to staying ........................................................................................................ 29 Support and community .................................................................................................... 30 Couple integration ............................................................................................................. 31 Maturity............................................................................................................................