Handbook for Courage and EnCourage Chaplains Fortieth Anniversary Edition Trumbull, Connecticut 2020 Published with ecclesiastical permission Nihil obstat: Rev. Brian P. Gannon, STD Censor librorum Imprimatur: Most Rev. Frank J. Caggiano Bishop of Bridgeport 1 May 2020 The nihil obstat and imprimatur are official declarations that a book or pamphlet is free of doctrinal or moral error. No implication is contained therein that those who have granted the declarations agree with the content, opinions or statements expressed. Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination: Guidelines for Pastoral Care © 2006 United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Washington, D.C., 20017. All rights reserved. Handbook for Courage and EnCourage Chaplains Fortieth Anniversary Edition © 2020 Courage International, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, elec- tronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system with- out permission in writing from the Copyright Holder. Permission is hereby granted for Courage and EnCourage chaplains to reproduce short excerpts for the use of members of their chapters during chapter meetings. To obtain copies of this Handbook, or to obtain permission for reprinting, excerpts or translations, contact the Copyright Holder at: Courage International, Inc. 6450 Main Street Trumbull, CT 06611 USA +1 (203) 803-1564 [email protected] In Loving Memory of Father John F. Harvey, O.S.F.S. (1918 — 2010) Founding Director of Courage International (1980 — 2008) NOTIFICATION The attached Handbook for Courage and EnCourage Chaplains: Fortieth Anniver- sary Edition, having received the endorsement of the Advisory Council and the Board of Directors of Courage International, was unanimously approved by the Episcopal Board of Courage International at a special meeting on 5 June 2020, and was thereby incorporated into the Statutes of Courage International, which state that “[22.5] Chapter meetings of Courage International are to be conducted according to the Courage Handbook.” The directives contained in this Handbook therefore apply to all chapters of Cour- age and EnCourage, and may be implemented immediately upon publication. This Handbook supersedes any previous editions and will be implemented by all English-speaking Courage and EnCourage chapters as of 26 September 2020, the fortieth anniversary of the first Courage meeting. This Handbook will be translated into the various working languages of Courage International and will be implemented by the chapters using each language upon the approval and publication of the translation, or on September 26, 2020, which- ever is later. Anything to the contrary notwithstanding. Rev. Philip G. Bochanski Executive Director 19 June 2020 Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus CONTENTS Jubilee Prayer for the Courage and EnCourage Apostolates.................................................... 1 Introduction Father John F. Harvey, OSFS ........................................................................................... 3 The Five Goals of Courage ............................................................................................... 4 EnCourage .......................................................................................................................... 6 Courage International and the Courage Office ............................................................ 6 Courage Chaplains ............................................................................................................ 7 Establishing a Chapter.................................................................................................... 10 Members of Courage and EnCourage Chapters ........................................................ 11 Collaboration with Other Groups................................................................................. 13 Part One: The Goals of Courage Chastity .................................................................................................................................................. 19 Chastity as Integration ................................................................................................... 19 Continence and Chastity ................................................................................................ 19 Types of Love ................................................................................................................... 20 Identity, Inclination, Action ........................................................................................... 21 Strategies for Growth in Chastity ................................................................................. 23 Therapeutic Assistance for Chaste Living ................................................................... 24 The Particular Needs of Men and Women .................................................................. 25 Prayer and Dedication ........................................................................................................................... 27 A Spiritual Plan ............................................................................................................... 27 Service to Others ............................................................................................................. 27 Spiritual Reading ............................................................................................................. 28 Prayer ................................................................................................................................ 29 Meditation ........................................................................................................................ 30 Individual Spiritual Direction ....................................................................................... 31 Frequent Attendance at Mass and Frequent Reception of the Holy Eucharist ..... 31 Frequent Reception of the Sacrament of Reconciliation ............................................ 32 Fellowship ............................................................................................................................................. 34 The Importance of the Courage Chapter ..................................................................... 34 The Typical Courage Meeting ....................................................................................... 35 Outside the Meetings ...................................................................................................... 37 Confidentiality ................................................................................................................. 37 Group Dynamics ............................................................................................................. 38 Joining and Leaving the Chapter .................................................................................. 40 Support ................................................................................................................................................... 41 The Art of Accompaniment ........................................................................................... 41 Developing Chaste Friendships .................................................................................... 42 The Importance of Community .................................................................................... 44 Good Example ...................................................................................................................................... 46 Publicizing the Local Chapter ....................................................................................... 46 Personal Testimonies ...................................................................................................... 47 Choosing a Vocation ....................................................................................................... 48 Part Two: The Goals of EnCourage Prayer and Dedication ....................................................................................................................... 53 Trustful Surrender to the Will of God .......................................................................... 53 Keeping the Spiritual in Perspective ............................................................................ 54 Shared Prayer ................................................................................................................... 54 Formation .............................................................................................................................................. 55 Initial Reactions ............................................................................................................... 55 “Born that way?” ............................................................................................................. 56 “Needs, Difficulties and Challenges” .......................................................................... 57 Charity .................................................................................................................................................... 59 “What Do I Say to Them?”............................................................................................. 59 Relating to the Loved One’s Partner ............................................................................ 60 Same-sex Marriages and Family Life ..........................................................................