Moore, Michael − Downsize This! Downsize This! Michael Moore Grateful acknowledgment is made to the following for permission to reprint the following photographs: John Abbot Photography: photos of David Hoag, President of LTV, and Ralph Larsen, CEO of Johnson /> Archive Photos: photos of Oklahoma building (Chris Smith), Helmut Werner (Hillery), and Keun Hee Lee (Hankyorch). Michael R. Honeywell: photo of William Stavropoulos, Dow Chemical, CEO (M. H. Photo). Black Star: photos of Dwayne Andreas (John Harrington), Edward Brennan (Rob Nelson), and Hillary Clinton (Dennis Brack). Luther S. Miller: photo of David Levan. SABA: photos of Oklahoma City bombing (Jim Argo/SABA photo); Daniel Tellep (Chris Brown/SABA photo); Jan Timmer (Leimdorfer/ R.E.A./SABA photo); Phil Knight (Mark Peterson/SABA photo); and Bill Rutledge (LaraJ. Regan/SABA photo). UPI/Corbis−Bettman: photo of Art Modell. Impact Visuals: photo of Uzi (Russ Marshall). ISBN 0−517−70739−X To my wife, Kathleen, and my daughter, Natalie two very funny people I love immensely. Contents • The Etiquette of Downsizing • Let's All Hop in a Ryder Truck • Would Pat Buchanan Take a Check from Satan? • "Don't Vote—It Only Encourages Them" • Democrat? Republican? Can You Tell the Difference? • Not on the Mayflower? Then Leave! • Big Welfare Mamas • Let's Dump on Orange County • How to Conduct the Rodney King Commemorative Riot • Pagan Babies • Germany Still Hasn't Paid for Its Sins—and I Intend to Collect • So You Want to Kill the President! • Show Trials I'd Like to See • If Clinton Had Balls . • Steve Forbes Was an Alien • Corporate Crooks Trading Cards • Why Are Union Leaders So F#!@ing Stupid? • Balance the Budget? Balance My Checkbook! • Mike's Penal Systems, Inc. • Mandate? What Mandate? • My Forbidden Love for Hillary • A Sperm's Right to Life • Let's Pick a New Enemy! • Those Keystone Cubans • What America Needs Is a Makeover • O.J. Is Innocent • The "Liddy Problem" • I Try to Commit Bob Dornan • Skip the Candidates—Vote for the Lobbyists! • Harassing Gays for Extra Credit • Take That Pen Out of Bob Dole's Hand • Free Us, Nelson Mandela! • NAFTA's Great! Let's Move Washington to Tijuana! • Why Doesn't GM Sell Crack? • I Want My Tax Break or I'm Leaving 1 Moore, Michael − Downsize This! • Mike's Militia • Everyone Fired . Wall Street Reacts Favorably • Acknowledgments • About The Author WHAT IS TERRORISM? Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, 1995 Flint, Michigan, 1996 The Etiquette Of Downsizing Compiled from various internal memos of companies that are currently downsizing, including Chemical Bank and the Times−Mirror Company, among others. TERMINATION GUIDELINES 1. The termination meeting should last no more than 5 to 10 minutes. 2. The termination meeting should be held in a neutral location, with easy access for security. 2 Moore, Michael − Downsize This! 3. Avoid any small talk. Get to the point. Don't debate. Don't discuss any issues of "fairness." 4. The downsized employee should clearly understand that he or she is being fired and this will be his or her last day of work. 5. Have Kleenex available. 6. Be supportive and empathetic, but not compromising. Use silence to give the employee an opportunity to react to the news. 7. Don't be defensive or argumentative. Don't be apologetic. 8. Don't provide extensive justification for the downsizing decision. 9. Do not try to make light of the situation by making jokes or trying to be funny. 10. Remain calm and try not to display any emotion. 11. If the employee becomes too emotional, suggest that he or she see a counselor. You may need to restate the message that he or she has been fired to ensure that the employee knows that the decision is final and has been made at the highest level for the good of the company. 12. The following are the four most common emotional responses employees have upon learning of their termination and the best way for the manager to handle them: ♦ Anger. The louder the downsized employee talks, the softer the manager should talk. The idea is to diffuse confrontation, since the employee cannot have a one−sided argument. ♦ Denial. Just because a person has been told, "You're fired," does not mean that he or she really hears it or believes it. The manager's role is to let individuals know the importance of getting their lives back together as soon as possible. ♦ Depression. This type of emotion should send an immediate warning signal. The person should be referred to a human resources counselor. ♦ Hysteria. Both men and women are capable of overreacting to news of their termination. For terminated people who begin to cry after hearing the news, have a glass of water handy. 13. The manager who conducts the termination wants to hear a fired employee say, "Can I see you again?" or "How much am I getting in severance?" Such comments show that the downsized individual is getting over the news and thinking about the future. 14. Managers need to recognize the following symptoms during the meeting that may indicate the terminated worker could turn violent: expression of unusual or bizarre thoughts; a fixation on weapons; romantic obsession; depression; and chemical dependence. 15. Request that the employee turn over his or her keys and other property of the company. Secure all access to the computers. 16. Contact security immediately if any assistance is required to escort the terminated employee from the property. 17. Offer the number of any services that may be of help to the terminated individual, such as temporary employment agencies, government assistance programs, out−of−state job banks, and a list of phone numbers for nearby moving services such as U−Haul and Ryder Truck. Let's All Hop in a Ryder Truck Since making Roger &Me in 1989, I've listened to a lot of stories from people, strangers in the street, who want to buy me a beer or a burger and tell me what happened to their American Dream. Roger &Me chronicled how the world's richest corporation, General Motors, destroyed my hometown of Flint, Michigan, by firing 30,000 workers during a time when the company was making record profits. I filmed search to find the chairman of GM, Roger Smith, and tried to convince him to come to Flint so he could see what he had done to the people there. Although Roger never made it to Flint, a lot of other people have. These days everyone, it seems, lives in their own Flint, Michigan. The stories I hear are pretty much the same, with a few variations to allow for the pink−slipped brother who committed suicide, or the mother who lost her life savings when the pension fund went belly−up. I have heard so many of these stories that I can fill in the blanks before the sentences are finished. I find myself doing this to keep from sinking into a deep despair. It is not pleasant when a homeless person actually knows you and calls out, "Hey, Mike!" as you are trying to walk quickly past him and his shopping cart. This happened to me on 46th Street in New York City in front of the Paramount Hotel. I was with a vice president of NBC and the producers of my show "TV Nation." The homeless man grabbed my hand for a shake and told me he, too, was from Flint, Michigan, but now lives here on the street. 3 Moore, Michael − Downsize This! He wanted to describe his favorite part of Roger &Me, which he had seen three years ago when he had a job. The NBC executive couldn't believe what he was watching. And I'm thinking ... I know this guy! "You remember me, don't you?" he asked. "I used to deliver your newspaper, the Flint Voice." Why was it him standing there like that? Why not me? But for the grace of Warner Bros, and NBC? I emptied my pockets and gave him everything I had. We left him on the street and went inside, where I had a $30 steak. The NBC suit had a salad. My buddy from Flint was probably already guzzling his aptly named Colt .45. As I write this I am on a plane to Ames, Iowa, to speak to a group of students and farmers who, like the strangers in the street, are angry and depressed that the America they once believed in has all but told them where to get off. When I arrive, the auditorium is overflowing. I begin to hear the same stories of betrayal and bewilderment and, always, the Big Question. Why is it that if they worked so hard for so long, and played by the rules, and voted for the Republicans, their reward has been foreclosure and divorce, bankruptcy and "the bottle"? As I sit offstage listening to the introduction, I think about how I, too, was raised to believe in an America where everyone had the opportunity to achieve a decent life. I was the all−American boy, an Eagle Scout. I won my Marksman certificate from the NRA. I was religious, attending the seminary in high school to become a Catholic priest. I obeyed all the rules (to this day, I have yet to smoke a joint) and worked within our political system (at the age of eighteen, I was elected to public office in Michigan). Until the 1990s, I never earned more than $15,000 a year. I have stood in the unemployment line at least three different times in my life and was collecting $98 a week in "benefits" when I decided to make Roger &Me.