A COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES VENERABLE VOICES JP - EU/CoE Support to the Promotion of Cultural Diversity (PCDK) Funded Implemented by the European Union by the Council of Europe EUROPEAN UNION COUNCIL CONSEIL OF EUROPE DE L’EUROPE VENERABLE 2 VOICES A COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES VENERABLE VOICES SEPTEMBER, 2012 JP - EU/CoE Support to the Promotion of Cultural Diversity (PCDK) This document was produced within the framework of the Joint Project "EU/CoE Support to the Promotion of Cultural Diversity in Kosovo*". The content does not necessarily represent the offi cial position of the European Union and/or the Council of Europe. * This designation is without prejudice to positions on status, and is in line with UNSCR 1244 and the ICJ Opinion on the Kosovo Declaration of Independence. VENERABLE 4 VOICES Contents Acknowledgements 7 Forewords 9 Introduction 13 Bosnian customs 14 Christmas 16 A story of wedding preparations 18 A tambourine woman 20 A story of engagements in earlier times 21 Filigree 22 Hëdërlezi (St. George) celebration 24 Life of a woman 26 Roma engagement 27 Kanagjeqi (bridal ritual of hair dyeing with henna) 28 How the people would go to the mountains 30 A bride’s hen night (in Rugova) 32 Where is the spider’s house 34 Marriage 36 Story told by the owner of a private museum 38 Hospitality and the rules of Oda e burrave (Guest room) 40 White Plis 42 Mësit (Matchmaker) 43 Easter 44 Preparing the bride for marriage 46 Engagements 48 Serbian weddings 49 St. George 50 Village festival 52 Karabash Baba shrine 54 Caravan 55 Kasëmbeg stream 56 Return my thing 58 Visiting for the expression of condolences 60 VENERABLE 6 VOICES Acknowledgements The collection and publication of this book Further, we would like to thank to Ms. Dafi - is the culmination of two years’ work in which a na Beqiri who passionately coordinated the ac- number of individuals and organisations played tion from the fi rst step to the end on behalf of a crucial role. We would like to extend our grat- the PCDK project and the photographer, Mr. At- itude to the authors / storytellers who gener- dhe Mulla who captured the essence of the sto- ously accepted to share their stories and who ries as well as Trembelat company that skill- gave permission to have their photos and sto- fully designed the publication. ries published. The PCDK project staff would like to thank PCDK Team their partner non-governmental organisations: AKTI, Arteza, Cultural Heritage without Borders, Intersos, Mundesia, 7 Shtatori, Zana and Forte- sa for their dedicated work. VENERABLE 8 VOICES Foreword Social inclusion and the dignity of elderly the views and experiences of the past. Better people are an important part of European cul- understanding and valuing of heritage passed ture, and are refl ected in the international and down from the older generations requires an ac- regional instruments of protection and promo- tive intercultural dialogue among the genera- tion, including the European Social Charter. tions, giving young and old an equal voice. Heritage plays an essential role in the right This Voices of the Elderly publication in- of everyone to take part in cultural life, which spires such a dialogue through stories told by decreases social exclusion and helps to develop the older generation from diverse communi- common experiences and foster dialogue. Pay- ties across Kosovo*, and underlines the value ing particular attention to the social inclusion of heritage practices to society. We hope that of the elderly enriches the education of youth, through this and similar initiatives, continued in communicating knowledge, experience and dialogue between generations and communi- wisdom. ties will contribute to the understanding of our The recent history of the Balkans is often common heritage. portrayed by dispute, confl ict and its impact on the younger generations. While seeking to stim- Gianluca Silvestrini ulate a more positive image, the parameters of Head of Cultural Heritage and contemporary life are often determined by the Technical Assistance Division younger generation which, at times, may deny Strasbourg VENERABLE 10 VOICES Foreword Audio-visual archive so many constraints and contradictions, so ma- We are used to hearing and saying that one ny traditional barriers and unwritten laws, that picture can speak more than thousand words. knowing the past is also the way to liberate But when you have both, an expressive pho- our present from some of them. One’s heritage tographic portrait and a thousand equally ex- means remembering the times when one “would pressive words, you create an emotional expe- know the exact day of the caravan two weeks rience that is able not only to revive past mo- in advance”, but also not to forget that there ments but also to turn them into unforgettable were times when a bride “could not speak”. She monuments. This is exactly the method – and speaks now, half a century later – and her voice the power! – of this fantastic book: by combi- is one of the most powerful in this book. ning very intimate spoken words with great pho- Listening to the voices of the past in order to tographs a very intriguing audio-visual archive make the lives of citizens better – this could be was created. And as French philosopher Fou- the motto of another joint project of the Council cault would say: There`s life in the archives! Old of Europe and the European Union in Kosovo. habits and eternal rituals became alive in front We are proud to be a partner in such project of our eyes. While reading their testimonials we where a personal voice is the strongest testi- are reminded of some forgotten words and the monial and an individual is the most reliable of origin of others that became a part of our eve- witnesses. It is exactly a harmony of such hu- ryday language… in short, our heritage is here. man moments that is able to move other people But what might be even more important is with the power of their individual emotions – the fact that there is absolutely no glorifi cation and to move things with the power of their col- or fake nostalgia about the past in their testi- lective experience. monials. If we read carefully their words and observe the wrinkles around their eyes, we un- Samuel Žbogar derstand that during our lives of births, rela- Head of the European Union Offi ce tionships, marriages and deaths we are in fact and EU Special Representative in Kosovo in every period of human history experiencing Pristina VENERABLE 12 VOICES Introduction At a time when societies are geared toward This publication, Voices of the Elderly, is a youth, being young, valuing youth as their fu- unique listening project where stories have been ture and potential for change, the wisdom, ex- collected by partner non-governmental organ- periences and distinct role of the elderly is often isations in Kosovo, accompanied by photos of marginalised, if not forgotten. While respect for the individuals who recited their stories, captur- the elderly is fundamental in many communi- ing them in the faces of each author. The authors ties, how much do we really pay attention to and were asked to describe their memories of an im- make time to hear their voices and stories? Sto- portant ritual, event, intangible heritage practice ries that tell of the history they have witnessed; or asset which was meaningful to them. Some traditions, rituals, social and political changes, of the storytellers have unfortunately passed confl icts, glories; stories that also speak of the away since the stories were collected and their speeding lifestyles of the modern day world - publication, but their words live on. the arrival of television in daily life, computers, We have tried to keep the essence of each the internet. The value of taking the time and story spoken in local dialects, and have tried to listening to the stories goes beyond the content translate them with a minimum loss in mean- of the story itself, and also by whom, how and ing. The purpose of this publication is to inspire in what context they are told. Sometimes the the communities about their living treasures and beauty of a story’s simplicity as it is transmit- their elderly citizens, and to value the knowl- ted from generation to generation touches the edge, experience, wisdom and oral history that hearts of many and can convey strong messag- they are passing through the generations. While es within a culture. building the future there is much to learn from The PCDK project, with its focus on heritage the past. That is what constitutes heritage and and diversity, extended its activities to margin- the stories that give meaning and richness to it. alised groups, including elderly from different communities across Kosovo*. Understanding Hakan Shearer Demir the dialectic dynamics and harmony between PCDK Team Leader the young and the elderly, the PCDK project tried to bring the voices of older generation into the discussion of heritage and diversity. Bosnian customs Since the beginning of mankind, there has nuptial envoys bringing clothes for the girl and a been a need for cohabitation of the two oppo- jewel box containing the ring, bracelet, necklace site sexes, men and women, and for progeny to and earrings. They used a red kerchief to cover carry on the generations. This is done by the cel- her head as a sign of her honesty. The girl would ebration of marriage. feel ashamed to appear, so all gifts would be In those ancient times too, love would al- received by her sister, sister-in-law or mother.