A HERMENEUTIC PHENOMENOLOGICAL INQUIRY INTO THE LIVED EXPERIENCES OF TAIWANESE PARACHUTE STUDENTS By Benjamin T. OuYang Dissertation submitted to the Faculty of the Graduate School of the University of Maryland, College Park in partial fulfillm ent Of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy 2004 Advisory Committee: Professor Francine Hultgren, Chair and Advisor Associate Professor Jing Lin Ms. Su -Chen Mao Associate Professor Marylu McEwen Dr. Maria del Carmen Torres -Queral Copyright by Benjamin T. OuYang 2004 ABSTRACT Title of dissertation: A HERMENEUTIC PHENOMENOLOGICAL INQUIRY INTO THE LIVED EXPERIENCES OF TAIWANESE PARACHUTE STUDENTS. Benjamin T. OuYang, Doctor of Philosophy, 2004 Dissertatio n directed by: Dr. Francine H. Hultgren Department of Education Policy and Leadership The purpose of this study is to understand the lived experiences of Taiwanese parachute students, so named because of their being sent to study in the United States, fr equently unaccompanied by their parents. Significant themes are revealed through hermeneutic phenomenological methodology and developed using the powerful metaphor of landing. Seven parachute students took part in several in -depth conversations with the researcher about their experiences living in the States, immersed in the English language and the American culture. Their stories are reflective accounts, which when coupled with literary and philosophic sources, reveal the essence of this experience of living in a foreign land. Voiced by teenage and young adult parachute students, the metaphor of landing as shown in their search for establishing a home and belonging, is the slate for the writing of this work’s main themes. The research opens up to a deeper understanding of this phenomenon in such themes as foreignness, landing and surveying the area; lost in the language; homesickness; and trying to establish friendships. Through the unique voice of the parachute students, the knowledge created from within these themes illuminates new understandings and insights for educators. Through this research we come to know ways in which various educational venues of student life can serve as a forum for the perspectives of ESOL students and educators, as wel l as encouraging parental support for parachute students. Equally important, we learn the values of belonging and of home, two aspects of life so often taken for granted. This work is also a personal accounting of the lived experience of the researcher who went to Taiwan for ten months to experience being immersed in the Chinese culture and language. In this journey of opening up the lived experiences of the Taiwanese parachute students, the researcher also came to know himself and the culture he once abandoned. His experiences bring the parachute students’ meaning to further depth. They came to a new way of understanding themselves and their meaning of home which, in turn, makes them ambassadors for appreciating diversity and increasing multicultural ism in the educational field, and in the global society. DEDICATION I dedicate this work to the parachute student with whom I fell in love. She is the better half of me, far prettier and smarter than I. Behind every man, there is a great woman. Ji a-Shieu has been my inspiration, my love, and my support throughout this entire doctoral journey. Making this journey complete, I owe her much thanks. Truly, I am a blessed and a lucky man. My greatest honor and title in this world is to be her husband. I also dedicate this work to my daughter, Ling Ling. So many times, I have come home from studying seeking to hold her, as her very presence was of comfort to me. And as I embraced and held her, sugars and spices would sprinkle all over me, giving me new strength. Daddy is done writing this paper Ling Ling, we will play much more now. To my father and to my late mother, I also dedicate this work. My father is my hero, my role model, and many times my inspiration. I have dreamed many times of pres enting this paper to him. He first planted in my heart the idea to earn a doctorate. He gave me both his name, and part of his greatness within him. I am forever grateful for his character and integrity. Finally, I dedicate this work to Mr. and Mrs. Wen Hua Lee, my in -laws. Not only have they shared with me the Taiwanese culture, but also much about life and appreciating diversity. They have helped me to accept the Chinese culture, rather than run from it. I am proud to be their American son-in -la w and I will always be grateful for them allowing me to wed their daughter. ii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This journey would not have been possible if it were not for the support of many friends and family members. Their kindness helped me to travel with the parac hute students on their journey of self -discovery, and in my journey for the search for knowledge. Without acknowledging those individuals who assisted me in this process, this dissertation would not be complete. My sincere appreciation goes to my committ ee members: Jing Lin, Su -Chen Mao, Marylu McEwen, and Maria del Carmen Torres -Queral. Their thoughful enthusiasm, genuine interest, and insightful comments helped shape this effort into a scholarly work. I am honored to have their names on my dissertatio n. I also want to thank the courage and support of my participants. Their generosity and enthusiasm in sharing their lives with me made this dissertation possible and authentic. Every parachute student was generous with their time and inspired me with hours of endless stories. Their compassion for my thirst to understand their experiences, elevated this dissertation to greater levels of insight and further depths of understanding. To all the nuns and priests who would not let me quit, I am most grat eful. To the Oblates, Franciscans, Opus Dei, Paulists, and Holy Family religious order, and to all the lay people who somehow knew that by earning a doctorate I could somehow help the message of the poor and needy be heard, I thank you. You have encourag ed me to move forward in life, and helped me to dance with the divine. We all work for the same boss, and it has been a pleasure having Him work through you. I wish to thank all the members of Our Lady of China. Patiently, they endured my struggle through the Chinese language, with my poor control of the tones and heavy iii American accent, and in return, gave me the Chinese poems, idioms and expressions to compliment this study. Their knowledge of the Chinese language and culture compliment the opening of the parachute students’ phenomenon. Finally, I wish to thank my Advisor and Chair, Francine Hultgren. She has seen me cry, be frustrated terribly as I searched for meaning, and depressed as I was filled with doubt wondering if I could go on. However, she never let me quit, and encouraged me onward while not compromising her standards of excellence nor her belief in me. She has had the patience of a saint, the directional skills of a gifted counselor, and the support and gentle look of a mother. Dr . Hultgren has been not only an incredible Advisor and Chair, she has been the best teacher that I have ever had. She has allowed me to taste the true joy of learning by not allowing me to hide from the struggles that accompany that journey, but rather le t me work through them. And as I searched for phenomenological and Hultgren nods, I have seen how high I can fly in the joy of knowledge and understanding. Without her, I do not see how I could have survived this dissertation journey. I have been blesse d with the one true dream that every doctoral student hopes for, a supportive and caring Chair. I will miss Dr. Hultgren, her guiding spirit, her warm embrace, and to my surprise, even her gentle discipline. It has been my pleasure working with her and I bow to the wisdom within her. Always, she will have a special place in my heart. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER ONE: I’VE LANDED -- WHAT LAND AM I ON? 1 My Lived Experience Landing in Foreign Soil: A Reflection of the Past 4 The Initial Call and the Return to Taiwan 5 The Preparation for and “Place” of the Landing: First Experiences in Being Lost 8 Placement Implacement: Homeless Reminders 15 Understanding through Standing Under 17 A Change of Heart from a Change of Home: Becoming the Phenomenon 20 Turnin g to Phenomenology to Study My Phenomenon 22 Being Called to the Question 23 The Landing Approach 23 The Organization of this Journey 24 CHAPTER TWO: THEY’VE LANDED —WHAT LAND ARE THEY ON? 26 Being a Student: Not in Residence 27 Being Outside 28 The Students Descend 29 They Have Landed: Is it Safe? 30 Derogatory Echoes 32 My Parachute Experience of Landing at School 34 Not Knowing 37 Not at Home 38 The Silence of Not Understanding 38 Academic Deflation and Inflation 39 From the Cocoon to the Butterfly: Appearances can be Deceiving 42 The Silence of Being Homesick 43 Missing Beyond Words 44 Struggling in the Dark 45 Utopian Heartbreak 46 Longing for the Past 47 Homesteading or Homecoming? 49 From Homesickness to Identity Confusion 50 Caught or Content Betwee n Two Worlds 51 A Bridge - To What? From What? 52 Identity Confusion: Students Without a Country 53 Association/Dissassociation: Cultural Tension 56 Reclaiming What Was Once Rejected 57 Asian Against Asian 58 Asian Against Non Asians 61 The Influence of the Taiwanese Parachute Students' Parents 63 Language Barriers Between Parents and Students 63 v Silent Language -- Different Roles 66 Distance Barriers 68 Cultural Barriers 70 B's Are Not Good Enough 71 Not Measuring Up: Parental Pressure 72 Alone Again 74 Continuing the Journey 76 CHAPTER THREE: PREPARING FOR THE POST LANDING 77 Inquiring with Hermeneutic Phenomenology 78 Heidegger's Being of Being-- Da -Sein 79 Care In Being 80 Dr.