GLEE "LAST NATIONALS" Written by Kyle Burbank [email protected] (480) 510-2629 1 INT. BREADSTIX -- NIGHT 1 ARTIE, TINA, BLAINE and SAM sit in a booth at BREADSTIX. A BANNER saying “CONGRATULATIONS” hangs from the table. They have PUNCH GLASSES raised as Blaine is about to give a toast. BLAINE To the reigning champion New Directions! They cheers, and drink. TINA We couldn’t have done it without you, Blaine. BLAINE Well, thanks, Tina. But we’re a team and we came together to make it happen! SAM (trying to play along) Yeah, and this punch is as sweet as the victory we have achieved. ARTIE Yeahhh, Blaine, I hate to be the one to ask, but why are we having a victory party before we’ve even competed? BLAINE Guys! It’s called “envisioning”. If you have a positive attitude and envision yourself winning, then you will. (then) Besides, I thought it would be nice for us seniors to get together and enjoy our time together before we graduate. SAM What -- aren’t we all just going to New York? TINA I’m not going to New York... It’s slightly awkward, but it gets even more awkward because as Tina finishes her sentence, SUE appears at the end of their table. (CONTINUED) "Last Nationals" 2. 1 CONTINUED: 1 SUE Well, well, well -- if it isn’t the Old Directions -- presumably celebrating the creation of yet another ridiculously random organization. I’m guessing this one is the “Teens Who Don’t Read ‘Yelp’ Reviews Club”. BLAINE Actually, we’re celebrating our impeding Nationals win. SUE Oh, poor, naive Mrs. Porcelain-to- be -- thinking you can hope and dream your way to a championship. I hate to break it to you, but you’re never going to save your teacher’s job with positive thoughts. ARTIE Wait -- what are you talking about? SUE Why am I not surprised that your borderline pedophilic leader forgot to mention that his employment depends on your winning? TINA Principal Sylvester, you can’t do this! BLAINE Yeah, doesn’t he have tenure or something? SUE No, that inexplicably went to his pamphlet-peddling, germaphobic ginger wife -- who, in turn, departed on some sort of extended sabbatical and didn’t think anyone would notice. The kids look at each other as if to say “yeah, where is she?”. SAM So if we don’t win Nationals, you’re firing Mr. Schue? (CONTINUED) "Last Nationals" 3. 1 CONTINUED: (2) 1 SUE (amazed at his stupidity) Really? I thought I was pretty clear on this... YES! Done! Cut! Just like your hair should have been eons ago. Terror sets in on the faces of the seniors as Sue starts to walk away. SUE (CONT’D) Oh! Good luck. The kids look at each other in disbelief and fear. GLEE CARD 2 INT. MCKINLEY HIGH HALLWAY -- DAY 2 Marley is walking down the hallway, tightly hugging her BINDER, as she ponders the rapidly approaching competition. MARLEY (V.O.) Nationals -- It’s what we’ve dreamed about all year, and now it’s come. Everyone keeps talking about how it’s the last Nationals for the seniors, but I keep thinking -- what if it’s the last Nationals for all of us? I mean, I already ruined one Sectionals; what if we blow it again? -- Finn and I fought to keep this club together after that, and there’s no way I can do that again without him. And when Blaine is gone, I feel like I’m going to be looked at as the leader -- the “New-New Rachel” -- As excited as I am for this, I can’t help but wonder -- what’s going to happen next year? 3 INT. CHOIR ROOM -- CONTINUOUS 3 Marley is the last student into the choir room. A few seconds after she takes her seat, WILL enters from his office with an ENVELOPE in his hand. (CONTINUED) "Last Nationals" 4. 3 CONTINUED: 3 WILL Alright, guys, are you ready to hear the theme for the 2013 National Show Choir Competition, in Los Angeles, California?! The New Directions looks like an Oprah audience right before she announces the gifts they’re getting. They all cheer. WILL (CONT’D) And the theme is... “Past, Present and Future”. The kids are still excited, but also seem slightly confused. SAM (raising his hand) Is that the same as “33% vintage”? UNIQUE Ugh... Those spinning pinball machines got me so dizzy I thought I was gonna turn the first three rows into a splash zone. KITTY How are we supposed to sing songs from the future? Marley looks like she’s about to interrupt, but Kitty turns around to look at her. KITTY (CONT’D) (to Marley) And before you suggest writing one, let me just say that I am not going to sit through another one of your sappy desk drawer ballads. JAKE Doesn’t every song fall under the banner of “past, present and future”? ARTIE It sounds like we’re going to be visited by the ghost of Jacob Marley. He pauses, realizing what he’s said and looks back at Jake and Marley. (CONTINUED) "Last Nationals" 5. 3 CONTINUED: (2) 3 ARTIE (CONT’D) How did we not realize that before?! MARLEY (moving on) I was thinking more along the lines of songs remembering important moments in someone’s life. BLAINE Yeah, or like being nostalgic for the past, but looking forward to the future. TINA Exactly! ARTIE Wait, don’t we still need twleve members to compete? A silence falls over the kids, as look around, counting their members. SAM I count nine, unless Unique can do double duty as a dude and chick. Unique rolls her eyes. KITTY Whoa -- why have we waited til now to get working on this? RYDER What are we gonna do?! Just then, SUGAR enters the choir room with a stack of POSTCARDS. SUGAR Hey guys! Sorry I’m late. (to Will) Hey, Mr. Schue. She hands him a postcard and starts passing them out to the rest of the New Directions. Unique runs up and gives her a big hug. UNIQUE Oh, honey -- where have you been?! (CONTINUED) "Last Nationals" 6. 3 CONTINUED: (3) 3 SUGAR After we won Regionals, my daddy wanted to take me on a celebratory vacation around the world. Each postcard has Sugar in a different city/country. Artie gets one of her in PARIS. Sam gets DUBAI. Marley gets one of her in KENYA, where she is giving $100 bills to orphan kids. SUGAR (CONT’D) But one place we didn’t go was L.A., baby! The kids all cheer. WILL Well, we’re very glad to have you back, Sugar. So now we just need 2 more students to compete, and we need to start planning out our set list. (then) We’ve got this guys! SAM Yeah, we better have it, otherwise someone’s getting fired... The other seniors give him a “what the hell, dude” look. The underclassmen don’t know what’s going on. Sam realizes he shouldn’t have said that. WILL Who told you guys that? TINA We ran into Principal Sylvester at Breadstix. Why didn’t you tell us? WILL Because I have faith in you guys and I know we’re gonna nail it. So just forget about whatever Sue says. He starts walking for the door. WILL (CONT’D) And start brainstorming ideas for songs and members. (CONTINUED) "Last Nationals" 7. 3 CONTINUED: (4) 3 MARLEY Where are you going? WILL I’ll be right back. Will walks out and down the hall towards Sue’s office. 4 INT. FIGGINS OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS 4 Will storms into Sue’s office, where she is SKETCHING plans for her a remodeled office. SUE Ahhh, William -- I’m glad you’re here. I got you -- (reaching) This present. Sue hands him a WHITE BOARD with a GIFT BOW in the top corner and a TAG reading “TO: BUTT CHIN FROM: SUE”. SUE (CONT’D) This way you can theme the pathetic weeks of your soon to be unemployed life to whatever god-awful artist you’ve drudged up out of your Goodwill curated record collection in attempt to make them relevant to something. WILL Sue, why did you tell my students that I’m getting fired? SUE Oh, well, I had assumed you would have broken that news to them. Or did you think I would forget what I threatened just because a few months had passed? WILL I didn’t tell them, because they don’t need that on their minds while they’re trying to focus on winning. (CONTINUED) "Last Nationals" 8. 4 CONTINUED: 4 SUE Oh, please -- You don’t think that football players on powerhouse teams don’t know that their coach is going to get crap-canned if they lose?! WILL That’s entirely different, Sue. My students don’t -- SUE -- Need a “teacher” who joins them in singing songs about date rape? I completely agree, William -- it’s a good thing you’re leaving. WILL They’re going to win, Sue -- Just you watch. Will walks out. Just before he exits the second door, Sue yells out to him. SUE You’re welcome! 5 INT. LIBRARY -- DAY 5 Ryder is on of the computers, googling “SHOW CHOIR COMPETITION”. Then, we see Unique peer around one of the bookshelves. She timidly walks over. UNIQUE Hey. What are you doing here? Chatting, again? RYDER Ha. No. I’m looking up tips for competing. I don’t know why I’m so nervous -- I’ve done this twice before now, but -- UNIQUE But Nationals is a-whole-nother animal.