Cold Open: We got a doozy of a tale here today! Taking a break from recent stories full of insane white supremacists to tell a story full of insane black supremacists. Other side of the same coin today. The incredibly racist and also extra murder-y Nation of Yahweh cult. This especially violent cult was founded in Miami in 1979 by Hulon Mitchell, Jr., a super humble dude who told his followers that he was, you know, God in the flesh. He insisted that he be referred to by super modest monikers such as “Grand Master of All,” “the God of the Universe,” “The Grand Potentate,” “The Everlasting Father,” and of course “Yahweh ben Yahweh,” - Hebrew for “the Lord son of the Lord.” Seems a little redundant. Like asking to be called “God Lord” or “Deity God” It would’ve been more appropriate if he would’ve went by whatever “Colossal Piece of Shit” translates to in Hebrew. Yahweh ben Yahweh wanted followers who would do anything for him. Give their belongings to him. Give their souls to him. Give their bodies to him. Kill for him. He wanted a race war to break out and saw himself, obviously, on the winning side. He asked his followers to go “kill me a white devil and bring me an ear.” And he was brought ears. He built a large and powerful cult. At its peak, his empire’s value was roughly $100 million. He had over 4,000 followers, a huge temple, a four- story apartment building, restaurants, stores, houses and a hotel in Miami, and a hotel and restaurant in Atlanta as well as hundreds of white cars, vans, buses and 18-wheelers. He also sexually manipulated and molested an untold number of his followers. He had at least one member who dared to leave his cult brutally beaten and then roughly decapitated. He had an inner circle of enforcers known as “Death angels.” He convinced women to things like blow in other women’s vaginas, telling them this was how you give CPR to a baby still in their mother’s belly. Yep. You heard that right. This story is that fucking crazy. Follow me into the wild times of Yahweh ben Yahweh and the cult he created in another “Humans sometimes do the most insane shit” edition of Timesuck. PAUSE TIMESUCK INTERLUDE PAUSE TIMESUCK INTRO I. Welcome! A.Happy Monday: Happy Monday you curious motherfuckers! Coming in HOT today! Yip, yip, yaw! I’m Dan Cummins, the Master Sucker, Bojangles’ Pooper Scooper, Dean of the A-Hole Air Banjo Academy, and you are listening to Timesuck. Hail Nimrod, Hail Lucifina, Praise Bojangles, and glory be to Triple M. Recording in the Suck Dungeon in CDA and feeling the best I’ve felt in a month. Hopefully I’ve already had the Corona virus now. Gotta VERY exciting tale for you today. Holy shit. This one had me riveted. A fascinating and inane tale awaits. I’m jealous you get to hear it for the first time with no real idea of what’s to come. Got some heated Timesucker Updates to get to at the end. Ruffled some feathers again this past week. Boy Howdy. Gosh Dang. B.Tour Dates: Huge thank you to all who came out to Salt Lake City. My GOD those shows were fun weekend before last. The Toxic Thoughts Tour - SO MUCH FUN. Nashville this weekend March 12-14. Shows are STILL on. Not a lot of tickets left. The club was undamaged by the recent tornados. Sorry if your life was affected by that storm. I hate seeing such a beautiful city damaged. Also - I will be in Standup Live in Huntsville on the 15th. My only Alabama show for 2020. Then it’s on to Punchline in Philly March 26th - 28th. Then I’ll be at Hawaiian Brians in Honolulu, Hawaii on Sunday, April 5th. First big island show ever! After that, Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, and HOT-lanta! C.Charity: Excited to announce we’ve already given $4800 to The Martin Richard Foundation on behalf of the Patreon Space Lizards this month! Team MR8. Giving almost $5000 a month now to charities. That money really goes a very long ways at a lot of these places. This foundation was established in his honor of Martin Richard, a young boy who died in the Boston Marathon Bombings. The Martin Richard Foundation works to advance the values of inclusion, kindness, justice and peace. And you can donate either to Timesucker Matt Cox’s GoFund Me Fund that he set up to raise extra money for this charity. OR - you can donate directly to the charity. Both links in today’s episode description: (PUT BOTH LINKS IN THE EPISODE DESCRIPTION) https://charity.gofundme.com/o/en/campaign/mr8bos20/ matthewcox1 https://teammr8.org/ D.Bad ass Timesuck Hockey Sweatshirt hit the store today! And, a white You Suck Timesuck tee that parodies the classic “Thank You” takeout food bag. Check out badmagicmerch.com for Timesuck merch, Scared to Death merch, loving our horror podcast apparel, and also for Standup Merch. Being seeing a lot of those 3 out of 5 star tee shirts at shows. Hail Nimrod! E.Segue: Enough about my cult. Our cult is so boring compared to the Nation of Yahweh. I haven’t tried to fuck a single member other than my wife. I haven’t even asked zero of you to kill for me. Not yet. I haven’t tricked any of you into blowing into another member’s vagina to give a baby who doesn’t even breath regular air yet CPR. Not so far. I have zero death angels thus far that I’m aware of. So let’s talk about a much darker cult than the Cult of the Curious, let’s get to the Nation of Yahweh. Yip yip Yaw! Intro/Establish Premiss: Before we dive into a truly outlandish Timesuck Timeline today detailing Hulon Mitchell Jr’s early life and his transformation into Yahweh ben Yahweh and the formation of - and then destruction of - his Nation of Yahweh cult, let’s first take a look at the racial tension and violence that existed in 70s and 80s in Miami , Florida. Violence that allowed his cult to really thrive. Then we’ll go over some of the history of and the teachings of the two radical religious movements that heavily influenced Yahweh ben Yahweh - the Black Hebrew Israelites and the Nation of Islam. We’ll also take a peek at the man who would become Hulon’s most notorious and violent follower - former NFL Defensive Lineman Robert Rozier. A man who admitted in court to killing seven people while he was a member of the cult. II. Miami in the ‘80s: Miami, Florida, and Miami-Dade County in general, where the cult originated in the late 70’s, was not EXACTLY the best place to live. Not the ideal area to raise a family in. Check out this November 1980 article from the Washington Post: Since Saturday, 15 killings have been recorded in Dade County, boosting the record-breaking 1980 homicide toll to nearly 500 or 40 percent more than last year. In one Dade County community, the city of Miami, the homicide rate is 70 percent above that in 1979. Of the death toll, 18 came in the Liberty City riots. Lt. John Beckman, head of Dade County's homicide investigations, says ”I think a person has a greater possibility of being a victim of a major crime in south Florida than most anywhere else in the United State.” Wow! I’m surprised the county’s department of tourism didn’t use that for a promotional commercial. (Friendly politician) “Hey friend! Why take the family to Disneyland in Orlando like every other schmuck when you can take the family (Scary voice) DEEPER. GO SOUTH. DIVE IN THE DARKNESS OF THE BOWELS OF THE REAL FLORIDA. BEACH BODS AND MURDER. G-STRINGS and RIOTS IN THE STREETS!” And then the article says: Declaring an "emergency in crime" just before the opening of the winter tourist season, Miami Beach commissioners have closed city parks, piers and beaches at 10 p.m. and approved anti-loitering and stop-and-frisk ordinances for 60 days. Miami, the nation's 40th largest city, ranks as the fifth most dangerous in a surge of Sun Belt violence, the FBI said. Damn near Martial Law going on in 1980s Miami! Also, why does “Sun Belt violence” sound so much nicer than regular ol’ violence? I picture getting my ass kicked on a sunny beach surrounded by beautiful women, which sounds better than getting beat up in a snowbank next to the freeway just outside of Glendive, Montana. Things weren’t great in the Sunshine State. In that same article, there was a quote about a T-shirt that mockingly juxtaposed the view down the barrel of a handgun with the city's tourism slogan: "Miami, See It Like A Native.” In 1981, Miami would break the 1980 record 573 murders with 621. Thankfully today those numbers aren’t nearly as high, with 75 in 2015 and 81 in 2014. Crime rates across the globe have actually gone down significantly since the 1990s. Wouldn’t think that watching the news where they want you to believe the earth has never been bloodier because news producers know that fear sells, but it’s true. As I’ve said so many times, things are, comparatively speaking, pretty damn great time to be alive for the earth’s population in general.