LIBRETTO 1. 3. SUNSCREEN BOSSA NOVA VACATIONERS’ CHORUS I. I. Hand it here, I need to rub my legs... TODAY THEY HAVE RAISED ‘Cause later they’ll peel and crack, THE RED AND YELLOW FLAG UP And chap. HIGH: THE WHIRLPOOLS OF THE SEA, Hand it I will rub you… DROP-OFFS, Otherwise, you’ll be red as a lobster… R IP-TIDES, UNDERTOWS. Hand it I will rub you… YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO WADE IN 2. DEEPER THAN YOUR KNEES! YOUNG MAN FROM THE VOLCANO COUPLE 4. SIREN’S ARIA I. I flew to a Portuguese corrida – I. A short trip, just for fun. The man I once married, But then the pilot had to land the plane My ex, he drowned in South-East Asia. in London: He was the best of swimmers, So I called up my friends On vacation with his girlfriend. And stayed over for a couple of days. To this very day, no one can understand And from that day on, how it could happen to him: Linda and I never been apart. Some say he was swimming out too far beyond the shore, Not a single climatologist predicted a And the deep waters took him in. scenario like this. Others, knowing him better, Maybe someone had a feeling – perhaps Claim he had suffered a cramp due to the bull?… a magnesium deficiency… …perhaps the bull?… 5. O la vida VACATIONERS’ CHORUS La vida... II. 8. YOU ARE STRONGLY ADVISED TO SONG OF EXHAUSTION. STAY ON SHORE, WORKAHOLIC’S SONG YOU SHOULD NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN UNOBSERVED! I. JUST BUILD CASTLES IN THE SAND, I really don’t feel that I can let myself WALK THE BEACH COLLECTING slow down, STONES, SHELLS, AMBER, AND Because my colleagues will look down BABY TEETH!… on me. They’ll say I have no strength of will. 6. And I’ll become a loser in my own eyes. WEALTHY MOMMY’S SONG Exhaustion, exhaustion, exhaustion, I. exhaustion… My boy is eight and a half Exhaustion, exhaustion, exhaustion, And he has been swimming in exhaustion… The Black, The Yellow, Exhaustion – The White, I like to say it as a joke – The Red, It’s like a mammoth, The Mediterranean, A nonexistent creature, gone extinct. Aegean seas... Encyclopedias have it, He has already visited two of the world’s But in life – a thing you’ll never meet. great oceans, And we’ll visit the remaining ones this 9. year! CHANSON OF TOO MUCH SUN Two weeks ago, my husband took me II. diving in Australia. My eyelids are heavy, Two photographers swam after us – My head is dizzy, included in the price! Light and empty body, Our little one stayed on shore together There’s no water left in the bottle. with our nanny… MY EYELIDS ARE HEAVY, We explored the coral forests, MY HEAD IS DIZZY, We climbed through their branches, LIGHT AND EMPTY BODY, It certainly tired us, such density!… THERE’S NO WATER LEFT IN THE B O TT L E . What a relief that the Great Barrier Reef has a restaurant and hotel! 10. We sat down to sip our piña coladas – DREAM included in the price! They taste better under the water, I’m a guest at the house of the author of Simply a paradise! this book. It’s pleasant and comfy atmosphere, I feel 7. like laughing. CHANSON OF ADMIRATION But all of a sudden, the host starts massaging his temples, I. Closing his eyes, What a sky, just look, so clear! He says: I don’t feel too well, it’s back Not a single cloud… again, it’s time! What is there? – seagulls or terns? Time for what? – I ask him, feeling I can never tell… concerned. And then he explains it all to me: I come home from the shore, covered with I HAVE IN MY HEAD A TUMOR bites, and my skin itching like mad. THE SIZE OF AN EGG, IT GIVES ME PAINS THAT I CAN What’s wrong with people – they drink HARDLY BEAR! beer in the heat of the day! I NEED TO EAT A HANDFUL OF They spill it and it seeps into the sand, SHRIMP, Then it smells like a slum-hole! AND ONLY THEN DOES THE SUFFERING END. Which then plays a nice duet with bites I HAVE TO GET SOME SHRIMP, of sandwich left behind – QUICKLY, It feels like lying all day by a homeless man! TAKE ME TO A RESTAURANT, UP THERE, ON THE HILL, INSIDE Recently, I stretched my blanket out – right THE CASTLE… on the old remains of smoked fish – It was all rotten skin and bones! He starts to panic, I could smell the stench as I lay down. I say: OK. Turning on my stomach, a foreign body – Only Wait, I say, I don’t know how to drive. A champagne cork – poking my ribs! And wait, I say again, now getting angry: What’s wrong with people – is it so hard How can you eat shrimp when you are the to walk to a trash bin, or what? ambassador of eating raw? You are the spokesman for uncooked, What’s wrong with people – they come vegetarian food, here with their dogs, How can you be such an impudent liar? Who leave shit on the beach, fleas on the You fraud! sand!… I start to hit him with my fists, and wake 13. up soaking in sweat – I’ve never had a stranger dream! SOLO: The colours of the sea and sky have changed. 11. PHILOSOPHER’S COMMENTARY CHORUS: THIS SEASON THE SEA IS AS GREEN AS THE FOREST X3 I. Is it not a comical even grotesque situation: 14. Ancient Persia, China, India – SIREN’S ARIA Some of the oldest civilizations in the world. II. A thousand years went by and we are The great-great-great-grandmother of fish Lying here on the beach, Passed on to her descendants the secrets Snacking on super sweet dates imported of gill control: from Iran, Every animal kingdom has its special Playing a game of chess invented by privileges, Indian Brahmins, Everything is wisely planned out, but Wearing swimming suits made in the humankind – factories of China – Well, you don’t have to look far – my Is this not a parody of the Silk Road? aforementioned husband, my ex – Was so inclined to rash behavior. 12. This mammal with limited lung power, SONG OF COMPLAINT Still tries so hard to go into the sea, To dive down deep: I. He wants to conquer and control what is What’s wrong with people – they come not his to own… here with their dogs, Who leave shit on the beach, fleas on Acidy waves, the sand! Ivory foam, Rocking the boats full of canned goods, 17. tourists, fruits, and weapons. PHILOSOPHER’S COMMENTARY Airplanes in the sky, II. Ships sailing the sea. The banana comes into being, ripens somewhere in South America, ACIDY WAVES, And then it ends up on the other side of IVORY FOAM – the planet, AIRPLANES IN THE SKY, So far away from home. SHIPS SAILING THE SEA… It only existed to satisfy our hunger in one bite, 15. To give us a feeling of bliss. THE COUPLE’S DISTANCE SONG Serotonin from Ecuador – in our – So what time in the morning is your northern flatland, flight? For any time of day or time of year… – It’s quarter past seven! 18. – So you need to be there before five… SONG OF COMPLAINT – I am already getting sad… II. – In the morning, I’ll make an omelet… …ever since my childhood, smoked fish Then we’ll see each other in a week… carries unpleasant associations: – But that week seems so long… My grandmother used to make me eat smoked fish with mayonnaise for – We should remember to get some gas! breakfast – – Can you rub my shoulders? They’re Everyday, the same. burning. A strange bird, now passed away. 16. Our farmhouse is full of grandmother’s WEALTHY MOMMY’S SONG things, we didn’t want them anymore at home: II. We’re going out there next weekend, …we said we’d celebrate our son’s birthday I’ll carry out all the coats, and furs, and there in a year and a half! books into the sun. What an amazing sight! Only that sun… Those coral horns, that bleached, pallid One doesn’t know what to expect… whiteness… Even snow in summer wouldn’t surprise me! You have to see it, words cannot describe it! Everything is out of joint: The beginning of May brought frost and …our baby boy will be ten in a year and snow a half! And winter gives us buds and mushrooms… I want him to see the Great Barrier Reef with his own eyes! You see, we had Christmas at our farmhouse, My boy is eight and a half But this year, there was no frost, no snow, And he’s already been swimming in it felt like it could be Easter! The Black, The Yellow, Unusual, very unusual, it made for a The White, very strange mood: The Red, In the morning, I rose before everyone else The Mediterranean, And I went into the woods – Aegean seas... There was refreshing green moss, He has already visited two of the world’s Just like in springtime! great oceans, And as I walked the path, there beyond And we’ll visit the remaining ones this year! the well, I found three chanterelles! YOU’LL NEVER MEET... The end of December, how come? VACATION IS WHAT KILLED THE As granny liked to say: The end of the MAMMOTH – world! OFFICIALLY, THE CREATURE DOES NOT EXIST, BUT ACTUALLY, 19.