SAMPLE ARTICLES Maria Fatima “Jofti” Villena Delizo Position: SEO Copywriter/Ghostwriter Source: SEO Copywriter Team/SEOPH Divorce 101 Love does not always end in fairytales like most stories and films would like to promote because reality easily sets in and the terrible comes alive. Who would ever think that a love so sweet can turn so sour in just a year or two? Much more complicated if there are children and assets involved in the marriage because this would mean that there are a lot of things to be settled. But if you are in the verge of breaking down and that your marriage is damaging you and the family severely, maybe its time for you to think deeply and get some advice. Advice can be given not only by lawyers but by other people as well, from the right sources. First, you may want to know your wants and needs, the right questions to ask and the reasons why you need those advices. It is better to be sure about this that be sorry and inflict unnecessary pain. Divorce is a very tough decision and difficult situation to be in thus a need to be guided accordingly with the appropriate advices from the right sources. There are various advice you can get for various aspects that will be, whether like it or not, affected once you decide to get a divorce. • Advice type number 1: The first thing to ask yourself is, do you really want to get a divorce? If yes, then the only advice you need for now is legal. If you are really decided thats mean you will really get the divorce no matter how hard will this be for you and even the children. If your feelings are strong then it is most likely the right decision so do not waver and never falter. Stick by what you think is the right thing to do. Make discussion with a lawyer work for you and ask what you need to know like facts about divorce, accounts and timelines. • Advice type number 2: A legal advice too is appropriate when you are almost certain to file a divorce but want to first make sure of the financial considerations and that they are in order, the health of the children, if they can get through the process. Lawyers are not the only one responsible for this kind of advice but financial planner and counselor are both welcome. The financial planner can help in the financial matters while the counselor can give you the advice you need with the children. • Advice type number 3: An advice for a relatively simple divorce case. No financial considerations and family matters to think of. Maybe the couple has no children or any financial considerations, perhaps a prenuptial agreement or the situation might be amenable for both parties so there is nothing to worry about. • Advice type number 4: If you still doubt that a divorce is the right thing to do, a lawyer, financial planner or counselor who is an expert in Clinical Psychology can offer valuable advice. In this condition, you might need to listen to words that can sort things for you psychologically, emotionally and financially. You need to personal life coaching to help you cope with the impact of divorce. Never asked all aspects affected by divorce to only one person. Get as many advices as possible from different sources. 1 • Advice type number 5: The primary affected area when you decided to undergo the process of divorce is your emotions. Emotional turmoil can be devastating. Therefore, you need an emotional advice from a counselor. Who knows, you might not really want divorce but you are just unhappy with your marriage and that unhappiness can be easily undone by communication between the spouses. Advices are not only distinctly monopolized by the professionals but instead they can be given too by neutral grounds like friends and family members who see things in a different light. Just hear out sound of biases. Be cautious. Do you really need a divorce attorney? Lawyers are important in any case and a divorce case is not an exception. Lawyers provide valuable contributions to a divorce case starting from the completion of requirements and checking if they correctly prepared and fill out until the court hearings if your case requires it. In mediation, lawyers can help the couple acquire legal information they need for undergoing a divorce process. Lawyers too can be very good mediators and can give good advices especially on what is the right thing to do, to assess your finances and relationship, child custody and care and other legal assistance you might be needing. There are situations which will help you tell if you really need a lawyer or you can make a self- representation in your case. Check if you are within the situation mentioned: 1. If you have a marriage wherein both of you are working all throughout the period of your marriage, earn a good salary, no minor children and no property bought together and the marriage is relatively brief; 2. If you have a marriage wherein both of you have no steady work or you earn much money, no minor children, no property bought together and your marriage is relatively brief; 3. Very short marriage with no minor children and no property bought together; 4. If you are in a marriage wherein both of you worked all throughout the period of your marriage, earn good salary, no properties bought together, both of you are excellent partners, involved in taking care of your children, and both of you want to remain involved in the life of your children; 5. If both of you in your marriage did not work steadily all throughout the period of your marriage or earns that much money, no property bought together, involved in taking care of your children, and both of you want to remain involved in the life of your children; 6. If in your marriage, you have no kid and are willing to divide the properties evenly, support all issues and agreements are fairly made for each other; 7. If both of you agreed to divide all your properties evenly, support all issues, agreed to provide adequately for your children and take care of them, given visitation rights with the non- custodial parent and agreements are fairly made for each other even in financial matters; If in any case, none of these situations best describe your marriage then perhaps you should need lawyer because it might be that your case is quite complicated enough that without a lawyer it might even complicate more things. Check out these cases, and maybe your situation fits one of these: • Either partner has a private business • Either partner is nearing bankruptcy • Either partner is suspected to be poor in parenting or judgment • Either partner has a history of abuse of substance like alcohol • Either partner has abandoned the family for quite some time 2 • Either partner is suspected of sexual abuse • Either partner is irresponsible • Either partner possess a criminal record • Either partner is suspected of domestic violence including child abuse • Either partner is suspected of non-physical abuse (emotional, psychological, verbal, psychic, etc.) • Either partner is suffering from not or insufficiently treated mental illness • Either partners is not mentally competent • Either partner has a disability physically or has a health issue If in any case your situation runs into the second enumeration of condition or not included, it is most likely that your case needs a lawyer. So do not take the chance and grab a lawyer for your own sake. Get your divorce in court If you want your divorce case to be resolved, do not anymore hesitate to take it to court especially if you are already decided on your moves. Of course, getting your case in court has pros and cons and the ones affected are mostly the children, if you have children. Court cases are usually emotionally draining, devastating and expensive for both couples. Either you choose to have a mediator or just get it to court and get it over and done with. Anyway you already chose to leave your marriage and want to leave your spouse and never live with him. What is the point of dilly-dallying? Go ahead and have it resolved in court as it is the most rational thing to do. In court, you have to be prepared of the negotiations you will make with your spouse regarding with different issues like custody of your children and properties. For your preparation for the negotiation, you should remember the following and be guided to a smooth divorce process: • Know your spouse’s needs. This is not the time for selfishness, if you really want to be relieved of your situation, you must do what you have to do the right way. Keep in mind what he really needs and try to consider that in your decisions. • Know your own needs. Please divide your needs from your wants. Apart from thinking your partner’s need, you have to think also of your own needs and strike a balance in your decisions. Do not give it all the way but do not be selfish as well. • By not being selfish and thinking of your own needs, both of you will be able to find a common ground and agree on your decisions instead of picking up old fights with each other. • Always be open and accommodating. Mentally give your spouse a signal of what you do not need as of the moment.